Stupid People...

I hate to be the typical self-centered, know-it-all jerk...however I dislike stupid people. I am sure everyone can relate to having to deal with stupid people from time to time. Last night I had one of these experiences. My AC was not fixed by my apartment complex (go figure!), so when I go home I was a little frustrated. After calling the office twice with no answer I marched down to the office. Low and behold Barbie actually does live in flesh!!! The girl in the office (who is one of many I have seen in the office over the past 10 months, they have huge turn over because they hire real winners) was your typical Barbie. She was about 19 years old, blond, tan, and spoke with the most annoying high pitch voice I have ever heard. To top it all off I left feeling about 0.00004568 confident that she could handle getting the request into the computer so my air could be fixed...seeing as how I called on Saturday and it was never done...and seeing how she could hardly answer the questions of the lady who came in to apply for an apartment. I wanted to tell the lady to run for the hills! So, I admit this blog is not very kind or uplifting but last night I really wanted to say swear words after dealing with her. But hey God loves everyone of His creations right?

Is It April or August???

It's been in the high 90's and my luck with air conditioners is yet again bad! Went to turn the AC on Friday evening and no luck, nothing but warm air! I am told by the manager it should be fixed tomorrow. It's currently 87 degrees inside my apartment and is rather hot. I am attempting to write a final paper that is due in a few hours and have decided to break from it to say I hate the heat! If it is this hot in April I am scared to see what our summer is going to look like! Can I just go spend the summer on a beach in Hawaii?

One Heck Of A Year!!!!

Today marked my one year anniversary with Youth for Christ. On April 26, 2006 I was placed onto paid staff. It is crazy how time flies. I actually forgot today was my anniversary, I remember thinking last week that it was this week. I was approached by one of my volunteers at club tonight who reminded me it was my anniversary and then presented me with a card signed by all the students, along with a gift card to Starbucks. She brought me up to the front and said some nice things about me and I really was speechless.

This past year has truly been such a blessing. I am constantly reminded of how lucky I am to be part of such an awesome ministry like Campus Life and Youth for Christ. Daily I am challenged...and the funny part is that I am usually challenged by my kids! They may think they are just teenagers but they have impacted my life more than they will ever know. Today is a day to celebrate one year of fun but also one year of God's faithfulness to provide facilities, funds, volunteers, etc...but most importantly students. I love my kids and am so blessed to be able to be part of their lives. So, really today is Happy 1 Year Anniversary to my kids for putting up with me! Here's to many many more!

Life and Death...Death and Life

I have been reading Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller for some time now. You see I am really bad about finishing books. I was given this book for Christmas. My dilemma is that I start reading one book and stop reading it to read another. I have countless books with markers in them of there I stopped. Anywho, last night I read something interesting...

"Adam and Eve began to die, not only physically, but in their souls, too, because they had been separated from God. It makes sense that if a plant is separated from the sun, it dies, and that if people are separated from God, they die. And so now it feels as if we live on a planet where there is just a little bit of water left, poisoned as it is, and we all are trying to get it and drink so we can stay alive. But what we really need is God." (Miller, p. 109-110)

When I first read this through I thought well don't be silly we will die without water. Just as a plant without sun would die so would we if we didn't drink some good ole H2O. But when I really started to think about it what we really do need is God. How often do I tell myself that I can do this on my own? Or tell God that I don't need Him in that area of my life? But the truth is when we separate ourselves from God we die. Maybe not in a physical sense but sure in our souls we do. When I distance myself from God I can tell there is an emptiness inside of me that can't fully be filled by anything other than God. I have been wrestling with the term "obedience" lately. What does it look like to fully obey God in all aspects of my life? How can I please Him with everything I do because everything I do is in obeying Him? I tend to become worked up in the day to day things of this world, becoming overwhelmed with so much to do in life, but realistically just as Miller says, all we need is God. Just things to ponder.

"Long life is in store for you."

Gotta love the best part of Chinese food...the fortune cookies! Looks like i will be living for a quite a while if my fortune rings true!

Frustration...

I'm frustrated! It feels as if it is difficult to keep everyone on the same page! I just got an e-mail from another Campus Life club that is being a tad bit difficult with how I want to finish out the year. I just don't know how to achieve unity in getting everyone on the same page! I guess there is only so much one can do.

Lovin Rainy Days...

I love the rain when you don't have to be out in it all day. I went to church this morning and then had lunch with the amazing BK. She told me her afternoon plans of taking a nap and agreed that was a fantastic idea. I came home, crawled back in bed, and slept for over two hours. There is something about the rain outside that just makes it perfect nap weather! This is the second day in a row that I have taken an amazing nap after being up for less than six hours. Haha. Now I have to do homework! =(

Fresno Makes National Headlines on Fox News

Check out this link: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,267543,00.html

I knew this story had hit local stations but had no clue it made national headlines until I received a message from a friend across the country who saw it! It's sad that when Fresno makes the big news it typically isn't for something positive and uplifting. I'm going to ponder this article and probably post a blog about it later.

Wisdom Comes With Age

Today was YFC's annual Golf Classic fundraiser. It ended up being a great event...the weather held up for us and we had a great amount of golfers! I was assigned to sit at Hole #7 for about six hours to measure the closest to the pin for a cash prize. Well, I was assigned to work with a lady by the name of Ann. Ann came on staff with YFC one month before I was born so needless to say she has seen many aspects of YFC. She is also my elder by probably 35 years give or take. A year ago when I was interviewing with YFC I thought Ann didn't like me. I swore up and down that I wasn't going to get the job because of her. Well, needless to say I read the situation wrong. I have gotten to know Ann over this past year and really have began to love her like a grandma. I was a little worried this morning that six hours with someone much older than me would be difficult to maintain conversation. God quickly changed my heart, I had an amazing six hours with Ann. The time passed very quickly as I learned about Ann's life, about the history of YFC, and about just great stuff. I was truly blessed to be able to have spent the day with her. I feel even more encouraged about being a part of youth ministry and YFC after the talks I have had with her. So, Ann, you will probably never read this but I want to say thank you!

No News Is Good News!

Yesterday I had my appointment with the specialist in regard to recent health issues. I arrived back from the appointment with almost the same amount of information going into the appointment. I will not go into too much graphic detail, however the doctor is hopeful that it is a non-cancerous cyst. He is hoping that the pain and inflammation with subside shortly on its own and that the cyst can be left without having to remove via surgery. The reason that he is hopeful of this is that if a surgery was done it would increase my chances of not being able to have children. And I have not ruled out wanting to make babies!!! Because of my age the doctor really does not want to do a surgery. So, my prayer is that the ultrasound next week will provide positive results and that the pain will just go away on its own and I can go back to regular life. My ultrasound is next Thursday and I meet with the specialist again a week after that to go over the ultrasound results on Thursday the 3rd. Until then I am going to operate under the motto: no news is good news.

More Sad News...

Today I received an e-mail from the President of YFC/USA. The subject line: Organizational Announcement. When you see that subject line it means someones leaving, coming on, or changin jobs. As I opened the e-mail I immediately scanned the e-mail for names. First name that popped up was my good friend Jenny. (There were some other changes in the e-mail, important yes, significant to me not so much) I began to read the first paragraph and immediately was saddened that she is leaving YFC in June. Jenny has been a part of YFC for many many years, I think even before I was born! I am happy for Jenny as she is venturing from YFC to focus on achieving her doctorate and will be going to seminary full time. In the short year I have been on staff Jenny and I have connected at Summer Institute (picture above), DCLA, and Mid Winter. Out of everyone at YFC, I look up to her the most. She is genuine and truly cares (not to say others at YFC are not that way, they are!). Something about Jenny and I just clicked and I have enjoyed our one on one conversations and little e-mails here and there. It was my goal to one day work along side her at the National Office. This may never occur, however I do know Jenny will forever hold a place in my heart. Thank you for all you have done Jenny! May God bless you in your new adventure!

Scared...Anxious...Yet Holding Strong

Last night was rather scary for me. I was feeling a pain in a certain part of my body...well lets be real, my man area. The pain had been present for a few days but I wasn't alarmed since from time to time I experience pain from my hernia surgery some 15 months ago. However, this time the pain felt different. I ended up finding a lump of sorts. I was alarmed, yet I told myself that maybe it wasn't really there since it wasn't visible. I had a pre-scheduled appointment with my doctor for this morning since I am still not completely well from bronchitis that started some two weeks ago, so I told myself I would have the doc take a look to be safe. Well, I had a pretty crappy night sleep, I toss and turned, got up about four different times for something to drink. Those of you who know me, know that I hardly wake during the night. I couldn't help but to start thinking "what if's". Of course my mind turned to the negatives and I started to feel worried.

This morning my heart was pounding as I was waiting to see the doctor. He checked out my bronchitis and found that my asthma is now acting up and he doesn't think there is still an infection but just breathing difficulties. Thank you California air for allowing me to have asthma. He then checked out my other issues and confirmed that there is a lump. He then instructed me that we will need an ultrasound and he would like me to see a specialist. My doc is a great guy but didn't really give me details as to what could be going on.

So, it is the end of the day, I am sitting here in my office still filled with a sense of uncertainty. I am anxious to know what is going on with me. I keep telling myself that everything is going to be fine. I have been faced with many health issues in my short 23 years of life and this is just another one that will be taken care of. Through this I am holding strong, I believe God will see me through this just as He always does. I'd being lying if I didn't say that this new discovery has left me clinging to Him much more than I have in the past few weeks. Isn't it odd how we choose to be close to God when we feel like we are faced with a problem?

Please pray for me in the coming days. I have an appointment on Thursday with the specialist...crazy how they get you in quick when they think something is up. I have an ultrasound next week. Hopefully sooner...rather than later...there will be some clear answers as to what is going on. I pray that God gives me the strength to carry on and to not let this put a damper on my life.

In Him,
Derek

The Well Has A Place To Call Home...

Just two days ago I received an e-mail from my church's Associate Pastor. It informed us of the exciting news of negotiations of purchasing a permanent site for our North Campus. At the 11am service this morning the Senior Pastor (Brad Bell) announced that the board of the selling church was in a meeting this very morning to discuss the sell to The Well. Brad informed the congregation to check his blog (Link on left of my page) for an update when we had the final news. Well, I just checked and The Well Community Church now owns its first property! The crazy thing is it cost $3 Million but some wealthy businessman is donating $2 Million and financing the church the remaining $1 Million. Crazy that one person has that much money, but amazing that he has that huge of a heart. Whoever you are Mr. Man, thank you for for allowing this to happen. And more so thank God for answering the churches prayers! I have been a part for almost five years and seen the church grow from 400 in attendance to 1200 in attendance...God is definitely at work. It will be neat to see how this unfolds. ~Derek~

Cuppy Cake

Today at my Campus Life Student Leadership meeting I was introduced to "Cuppy Cake". It was this very disturbing song that some of my students thought was cute, others scary, others annoying. In my opinion it was scary...sounded like a song from a horror movie when a crazy clown was coming to kill someone. I got home and found the video on You Tube and it made me realize it wasn't as scary when you see the cute lil girls singing smiling face. Oh well...Cuppy Cake will still be forever odd in my mind. Watch and listen below...

Post Secret

Post Secret is pretty much sweeping the nation. From the books to the website (http://postsecret.blogspot.com/) people are sitting in awe of what kind of secrets people have.

Today me and my lil bro (not by blood but doesn't matter) went to Borders and sat there and read Post Secrets. We both were shocked at some of the secrets people are carrying...others we laughed at...some we were grossed out by. It was a good time of bonding. It got us both thinking what we might put on a little postcard if we were to mail it in.

Someone at my work started this project of having our students mail us in their secrets. We have gotten quite a reply. I didn't think kids would do it but they are. We sat around a table and looked at these things and were blown away by what some students are sharing. Feeling unloved, alone, dealing with being molested, feeling ugly, being rejected, anger, issues with God, family struggles...the list goes on and on. What is sad is that these are secrets without names. We may never know who is dealing with what but it made me realize that our youth have so much on their plates. It made me realize how important building relationships with kids and giving them a venue where they can be honest and feel accepted when they are ready truly is.

Post Secrets = A Hurting World.

67 Things I Like...

67 Things I Like...

(Because I am sick and have nothing better to do!)

1. The number 7
2. E-mail
3. Chocolate Chip Cookies w/Milk
4. My Dentist, Dr. Grant
5. The Fact That My Lil Sis Finally Got A My Space
6. God
7. Cell Phones
8. MTV
9. Movies While Being Curled Up In Bed
10. Cold Sheets
11. Vicodine (I am not a druggie, it just helps me sleep when I am sick)
12. My Job!
13. My Huge Pet Oscar Fish
14. Sardines (The Game)
15. My Lil Bro (Not by blood but he is still pretty awesome!)
16. Campus Life
17. Lots Of Pictures
18. Google Talk
19. Roller Coasters, That Don't Go Upside Down
20. My Family
21. The Beach
22. Memories Of Grandpa Don
23. Driving In A Breeze w/The Top Down
24. Bianco Fresco w/Almond Roca from Caffe e Via
25. Church
26. Chinese Food
27. Fresh Fruit
28. Music!
29. Running Errands
30. Running
31. Long Showers
32. Alone Time
33. Reading A Good Book
34. Laughing w/j.Lo
35. Doing Absolutely Nothing w/BK
36. Not Having To Shave
37. Cats
38. Massages!
39. The Chiropractor...Aka Doc
40. Vacations
41. The Color Blue
42. Banking (As in working in it)
43. Signing Karaoke with AL my Carpet Buddy
44. FPU
45. E-mails/Messages w/Mike in Kansas
46. Port Of Subs (POS)
47. Rascal Flats
48. Swimming
49. Roller Blading
50. Going To Seminars Out-Of-Town
51. Peanut Butter Chocolate Ice Cream
52. The OC
53. Ballin!
54. The Real World
55. Looking At Year Books
56. Dr. Pepper
57. American Eagle
58. Playing Games w/My Lil Sis
59. De-Stress Dinners w/Meg
60. Naps
61. Ministry
62. Amazing Friends
63. BHS CL SL Retreats
64. Meaningful Conversations
65. Doctors
66. The Internet
67. Freedom To Blog About Anything!!!

Good Talks...

Today I had an amazing time with one of my students. He is one of the smartest 15 year olds I have met. I seriously have adopted him as my lil bro. We had a great lunch and then he spent the afternoon running random errands with me. We had great talks about life. He really challenges me to think. Here I am 8 years his elder and he is challenging me. The difference between he and I...he was raised in a Christian home and was force fed religion. Now, he is questioning his faith completely. He doesn't know if he really believes what he was raised on. He is totally a good kid yet really questions the bible and its relevance and truth. I on the other hand was raised without any form of religion until I was 19 years old. Its so cool to hear him out and just think about things with him and bounce ideas/thoughts/opinions off each other. I truly believe we all must question our faith for ourselves and I totally respect him for his questioning things. Totally love this kid! Makes me thankful I went through the life I did so I could be part of YFC and these kids lives! PTL!

Back Home!!!

So Cali Rally was a blast! 59 kids (7-12th grade) and 16 adults! I was the bus supervisor...fun times! We hit the beach, Disneyland, and Magic Mountain! Awesome times...exhausting times...sun burnt times! I love this trip because the relationships we make with kids over these three days are unforgettable! I love my job! It can be stressful and I wouldn't want to do this trip every month, however it was a totally amazing time! Thanks to all those who came on the trip! Major love!!!

Stress

I am writing a paper on stress management tonight...what a fun subject to write on, haha. Speaking from one who experiences stress regularly. Thought I would share some alarming statistics on stress!

-75% of the general population experiences at least "some stress" every two weeks.
-Half of those experience moderate or high levels of stress during the same two-week period.
-Millions of Americans suffer from unhealthy levels of stress at work.
-Worker's compensation claims for "mental stress" in California rose 200-700% in the 1980s.
-Stress contributes to heart disease, high blood pressure, strokes, and other illnesses in many individuals.
-Stress also affects the immune system, which protects us from many serious diseases.
-Tranquilizers, antidepressants, and anti-anxiety medications account for one fourth of all prescriptions written in the U.S. each year.
-Stress also contributes to the development of alcoholism, obesity, suicide, drug addiction, cigarette addiction, and other harmful behaviors.

These are not very uplifting facts...my advice, don't let them stress you out!

I Love This Feeling!

Does anyone else love the feeling of completion? When you finish a big task and feel a sense of relief. Last night I completed a 25 page paper. I do believe it is the longest paper I have written to date. I felt so excited last night to know not only that it was done, but that I was able to successfully do it and feel as if it was half decent. (Now we will wait and see what the professor thinks) Depending on how well I do on this final paper and one other short paper that I have not received a grade back on yet...it will determine if I get a high B or a low A. I am praying for the A, but would still be satisfied with the B. Anywho, I rewarded myself for finishing the paper by sleeping in until 7:45 this morning. Now I must actually get ready and go to work! Have an awesome day!

Site of the day...

UrbanDictionary.com I have been on this site previous times but revisited it today after one of my students said I word that I didn't know the definition of. I must say that this site cracks me up...I don't know how in the world some of these people come up with these words and their definitions but they probably could cause me to laugh for hours. Just a warning...some of the words are not appropriate on this site. But feel free to check it out if you want a laugh or really want to know what some of the words on the street our youth are using mean.

A Typical Blonde Moment...

Except I'm not blonde! So today I was taking Bertha...my beast of car. She's actually my 2nd car that is used just to haul kids and stuff around, she's a 92 Ford Explorer, or should I say Exploder! Or as my grandma says FORD...Fix Or Repair Daily. So, I was at the gas station filling her up at $2.99 a gallon and I forgot to put the gas cap on. I got to my destination about 4 miles away and got out of the car and released the little gas door was open and I obviously drove off with it on my bumper. I went back to look for it but no such luck. It was gone! I guess gas caps are a hot commodity to sell on e-bay! LOL! So, needless to say I had a blonde moment and $11 later I have a new gas cap.

As One Door Closes...

Another One Opens...

Today I was given some semi-sad news. I have been working on the side helping a good buddy of mine at his mortgage company. It was a per-diem type deal. He is a very good friend of mine, former roommate, and I got him into the mortgage industry back when I was doing it full time. Well...today he told me that he has ran an add to hire someone full time and won't need me help come a few weeks when he hires someone. It kind of made me sad. I mean I know my ministry role comes way before the one I had at the mortgage company, however I enjoyed the work (I sometimes miss the mortgage world) and the money was good. Now I must buckle down and restructure my finances and see what I will do.

But I remain faithful that God has a plan. I think this has something to do with me finishing my education. Recently I have began getting frustrated with myself and my online courses through CCU. I don't feel challenged and I slack off since I am not in the classroom. So I began pursuing in-class courses and have met with two Christian colleges here locally. I don't know financially how I will swing it but I will pray that God will direct me in what I am supposed to do.

On an even more positive side note...I have to earn my own support working at Youth for Christ. Basically I fundraise a portion of my salary and benefits from donors. Well, yesterday to my surprise I received my largest single check since I started working there almost a year ago. I wasn't even expecting this person to give but it came as a wonderful and encouraging gift. I am very thankful!

May God continue to bless you and may you remember as one door closes, another one opens.

How Can A Brother & Sister Be So Different???

For the most part me and my little sister (she's 17) get along pretty well. I love her beyonds what words can express. But sometimes I wonder how we can be so completely different? A friend of a friend manages a clothing store and is looking to hire a few teens. So, they asked if I knew any. Well I recommended one of my students from Campus Life and my sister. Well, I find out my student from Campus Life had an interview today so I call my sister to see if she had heard from the store. She said they left her a message yesterday but she never called back! WHAT IN THE WORLD? If you know me you know I am big into making a good impression on prospective employers. I began to tell my sister how this is the real world and for her not returning the call in a timely manner was rude. I asked her if she was going to call them back to day and she said probably. My question is why didn't she hang up with me and call that instant? I don't get this kid an how different she is then me! I had a job when I was 15 and she is going to be 18 in six months and needs get a job! She has a car now, maybe she should try and earn some money to support herself. Gosh I love the kid but her actions sure do frustrate me. Okay, I am done venting.

Your Opinion Matters

This was a post I wrote for my Organizational Behaviors course...

"People are usually more firmly convinced that their opinions are more precious than that they are true." George Santayana.

Humans are definitely an interesting breed. We all want to matter. I don't know of many people who would say I don't want to feel like I am needed, wanted, valued, or matter. We all are seeking validation to a certain degree.

We all have opinions and a variety of different topics. We often form our opinions based upon the influences around us. We might not always think for ourselves or research something but we will form our opinions based on how the people we trust feel on something. Personally I experienced this a few years ago. The city I live in had a huge push for "Measure Z" on the ballet. Measure Z was basically Measure Zoo. It was to increase the sales tax to improve the local zoo. There were these elephant cut out signs everywhere you looked and window clings on tons of cars. I didn't really research the props and cons of this measure but was told by my closest friends that I HAD to vote for this measure to protect the zoo for future generations. So, I didn't even form my own opinion, but just accepted the opinion of those I was close to. You see if anyone attacked my friends' opinion on Measure Z they would defend it like it was their first born child. They didn't care the results of increased sales tax whether that was a plus or a minus, they just cared that people understood how precious their opinion was.

Often in ministry we might not always have the best ideas or opinions. I work in youth ministry and I sometimes will have an opinion on something and I don't necessarily even care if I am right, but I just want someone to validate my opinion. I think all of our minds work like this. We don't want our opinions attacked, we just want to know that our opinions matter, that they are precious.

If Person A in and organization always put down Person B's opinions, made them feel like they didn't matter, or that their opinions were stupid it would hurt Person B. They would feel as if they were under personal attack. Eventually Person B would feel so worthless that they would no longer share their opinions or possibly eventually leave the organization for feeling a lack of worth. This could really effect the organization because Person B could have shared some great insight into things that will no longer be available. I think it is very important to work with the Person A types so that they see that it is okay to disagree with an opinion but sometimes it is more important to affirm how important it is for people like Person B to share their thoughts and to validate they are important...they are precious.

You Never Really Realize How Good You Have It...

So, this week I have began the wonderful season of allergies. Every March it happens and lasts until around June. Runny nose, itchy watery eyes, sneezing, soreness of throat. Many of you probably experience the same not-so-wonderful symptoms. So, like I always do around this time of the year, I go into the doctor and get a prescription from some meds. Pretty easy step to help relieve some of the allergy issues. Yet, I still question why in the world do I have to have allergies, it is such a pain, such a hassle, and I just wish I didn't have them.

Then it hit me, you big complaining baby. You are lucky that the only health things you have to worry about can be controlled by medicine and you can go on with your day to day life. You see I was given the opportunity to speak at a church youth group this week. Had a great time, met some really neat kids, and am good friends with the youth pastor and his wife. All around pretty cool time, except for the tear jerker. One of the youth came up and shared with the youth group and leaders that his 3 year old little brother, Hudson, was just diagnosed with cancer. That out of no where he had pain in his legs, then he couldn't walk, then in the middle of the night he woke up screaming because his head hurt so bad. Upon going to the hospital they found that this sweet, innocent little boy has cancer which has spread throughout his body and has destroyed many of his body parts. He went into a 3 hour surgery that ended up taking 10 hours at Childrens Hospital. And this is just the first surgery and soon he will beginning kimo and radiation. I could not imagine going through this at 23 years old, let alone 3 years old. I began to realize how I have nothing to complain about, compared to what this little boy is going through many of us have nothing to complain about. I don't have kids but if I did and this was my son, I don't know what I would do. So, if you are out there reading this, I ask you to join me in prayer for Hudson and let's keep in mind that our lives are not so bad when we think of what he is enduring.

God bless.
D~

If you're bored...

Check out http://www.knoxskorner.com/home.php?page=mm Hilarious clay videos!

New Born Baby

Today I got to hold a beautiful new born baby. Mazzy was only about 21 hours old when I held her in my arms. It was amazing to look down at this beautiful lil human and think wow, God created this! This little baby grew inside her mommy for nine months to come out as a little person. I was really in awe. Little Mazzy is beautiful and precious!

Friends (Part 2)

It doesn't matter how tore up we look we still love each other! Becky (BK) and Jen (mama j - j.Lo) are two of my dearest friends on this earth. We go back all the way to the days on 7th grade...Ahwahnee Warriors! It is insane to think we have been friends for over 10 years!!! A whole freakin decade! This two girls have stuck by my side through hard times and through good and I am so blessed to have them as friends! The memories are countless. We could probably sit around in our jam's, eating pancakes, and watching some TV for hours and just laugh at all the crazy, silly, fun times we have had! Like when Jen and Bec kidnapped me and took me to their church at night...wow was that an experience! LOL! This is a shoot out to two amazing women! I hope we grow old together! I love you both! (Oh and Jen this is in pink for you...since its your signature color!)

Friends (Part 1)

I am truly blessed to have such amazing friends! This week while I was in the bay area because of my grandpa's death I was able to visit Jason, Nina, and Scott at their pad up here. How funny is it that these three Fresno kids all end up in the bay area and are sharing a place together. Or according to Nina..."Her Place". I think back to all the memories I have and how many fun times there were. I hadn't seen Scott in almost a year and he is still as funny as ever. And Nina and I had flashbacks to driving the good ole Peoples Church van listening to Hanadey on the AM dial...Oh Nina, You're A Great American! And lets not forget debating with Jason why American Idol is a fun show to watch. I am really glad in the midst of all the stuff that was going on I was able to get some time with three super amazing friends!!! (Oh and this pic is from 2004 when we did a S.F. trip...wow we are old! And Jen and Bec...see Friends Part 2!)

Good Bye Grandpa...

When I got the call that Grandpa Don had passed away I was first shocked and somewhat in denial. The quickly changed to guilt. Guilt because I had told Grandpa I would come visit him ever since his last time in the hospital over a year ago and I never did. Guilt because Grandpa’s birthday was just some weeks before and I failed to call him. Now I would never get to tell him I loved him again or that I was sorry for not coming to visit or calling often enough.

On the drive to the bay area I began to think of how I would never see him again. That one day if I got married he wouldn’t be there or if and when I had a child they would not know their Great-Grandpa Don. I began to think of how I could remember him rather than thinking of all the future lost memories.

I will always have the pictures from when I was a little boy and Grandpa would come and visit. Like the one of me sitting behind the big steering wheel of Grandpa’s RV. Or me pushing my bubble lawn mower with my 49ers jersey on. Or riding my tricycle holding that 49er doll Grandpa got me. The doll that I still have, and I am almost certain if Grandpa heard me calling it a doll he would tell me it wasn’t. Boys don’t play with dolls, sorry Grandpa it was a doll. I will never forget the times when I would call Grandpa on the phone and tell him the grades I got on my report card. I was a pretty good student for the most part but Grandpa always pushed me for excellence. If I got a B he was asking why it wasn’t an A. I needed to get those good grades so I could go to Stanford and live near by him and Margie. I am a little sad that plan never happened. Or how Grandpa was always question how I was doing with the ladies. In more recent years memories would include times when I would come and visit for Dorette’s surprise party and Grandpa thought it was non-sense that they got her a male stripper. Or when Jen and I were leaving and going into San Francisco, Grandpa and Margie debated which route was the best way for us to get there.

Grandpa Don, I may have not been able to tell you one last time that I love you and I may have not been able to say good bye, but forever you will be in my heart.

Nothin Like Texas...

It is true, everything is bigger in Texas!! I have had an amazing 6 days in wonderful Dallas and will be shortly boarding a plane for Cali. But before I leave I wanted to give the "Top 5"...

Top 5 Reasons Why Texas Rocks...
5- Ya'll is fun to say!
4- You can get from the hotel lobby to the 29th floor in 22 seconds.
3- You can get the hook-up of an $800 a night suite for $99 because the hotel wants to be nice to their early check-in guests!
2- You can ride the train for free and get almost anywhere around downtown!!!
1- Being called Sir rocks!!! And the people on the streets, in the hotel, on the train, and in stores are amazingly friendly!!! Especially the Chris Rock look-a-like.

Top 5 Reasons Why Texas Needs Some Work-
5- Hotels don't give free lint brushes.
4- Attractions cost a lot of money to attend.
3- The weather changes like no tomorrow...70 one day and 40 the next.
2- If you don't speak Spanish you might find yourself in funny situations.
1. If you want to visit the pub, don't plan on leaving without smelling like an ash tray.

Back to the real world now...until next time...
Cowboy Derek

Trying to be happy in the midst of pain

These past few weeks I have really felt God working within my ministry. Although I feel Him at work it has been very difficult to deal with the overwhelming emotion. I often say "When it rains in pours". Recently it has been pouring with hurting high schoolers. It seems that every few months I have a large number of student situations and these past two or so weeks has been like that. From alcoholic homes, hurting relationships with parents, abuse, death, homosexuality, sex, break-up's...all things I have been processing through with students these past few weeks.

On Friday night I attended the Phil Wickham and Shane & Shane concert here in Fresno. It was an awesome show. I didn't really know what to expect but it was really great. One of the songs that Shane & Shane sung and talked about was Psalm 118:24, "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it". This verse has made me really think about rejoicing, about being happy. Is it really possible to be happy in the midst of pain? Here I am trying to meet students where they are at, trying to help them with hurt and pain yet needing to be happy, needing to point them back to the one who can lift them up in all their hurt and pain, Jesus. It is hard to think that "this is the day the Lord has made". That even when they are dealing with the death of a parent, breaking up with a girlfriend, an abusive parent, etc. that this is still a day that the Lord has made. It doesn't say the Lord only makes good days, no every day the Lord has made and even during hard times He is there.

Today it really hit me hard. I was checking up on different student my space's. I came across one of my kids that I met this past summer at camp. He lives about two hours north of me and I have not seen him since camp. We communicate on my space every once in a while. His headline said "Mom RIP". Initially I asked myself can this be true or is this guy just angry with him mom or something. Sure enough my attention was directed to a blog he wrote about ten days ago about the death of his mom. About him watching her die in a hospital bed as they pulled the plug. She went from healthy to sick in a matter of no time and then she was gone. My heart ached as I read these emotions on the screen in front of me. I messaged him and told him how sorry I was. I gave him my number if he needs to talk. He messaged me quickly right back to tell me the memorial service was yesterday. I felt horrible. Why didn't I read that blog a few days ago? I could have been there yesterday. His message continued to say that he would call me but maybe not for a few weeks because "grief is a weird thing". It hit me just then, how would I deal if my mom died? This kid is six or seven years younger then me and he is having to deal with this. I couldn't even deal with this. My prayers are with the family and this very special student. Please join me in praying.

Sorry this blog was semi-sorrowful. There are a ton of hurting kids out there, lets partner together to reach them and let them know they matter.

"Girls Always Win Honey"

Yesterday I was sitting in the lobby of a dentists office and was attempting to read a book, however was distracted by a three year old girl and her grandfather. The girl was playing with some of the toys that were on the floor and wanted grandpa to pay attention to her but he kept dozing off. "Grandpa wake up, play with me!" Finally she decided to take the tic-tac-toe to him. Of course she didn't really know how to play and instead of grandpa attempting to teach her he just let her do what she wanted so she yelled "I win!" and grandpa responded with "Girls always win honey". Then he told her to go play with legos in the corner so he could sleep. He told her to go build the twin towers before they bombed them.

I was semi-amused with his response that girls always win but was also very discouraged that he was seriously bothered by her wanting to play and he was just trying to push her away. I was also wondering why in the world would you tell a three year old to build the twin towers, what was he trying to feed into her little head. I realized that children are so impressionable. They look up to adults and ultimately make decisions based upon what they are told growing up. So, this grandpa maybe thought he was saying harmless words but to an outsider I witnessed him conveying to this little girl the following:
1. Girls always win. No matter what happens in life you will always get your way and you will always be right. This could lead this little girl to a lot of bad relationships and hurt feelings when she realizes the world is not going to say she wins at everything.
2. Your not important. Grandpa just wanted to be left alone to sleep. The little girl was not important enough for grandpa to take the time and play for a little while.
3. I don't even know what to respond to in regard to the Twin Towers and his reference to bombing.

Anywho, maybe I was being nosey by listening to how these two were relating but I find in interesting to see what we are filling our young peoples minds with. If you can say things to a three year old, no wonder some of the kids I see in high school are dealing with so many issues!

Walk A Little Straigher Daddy...

For some many months I have been able to relate to the song Walk A Little Straighter by Billy Currington. Growing up in home where my number one enemy was my dad's bottle of booze was nothing less than hellish. Last week I did a wrap up at one of my clubs on alcohol. I asked my students to be completely silent and I began to read a list of words "Hurt, Anger, Abuse, Alone, Hate, Wish For Divorce, Sleepless Nights, Yelling, Fighting..." I then went onto explain how those words were all things that I felt or went through while dealing with an alcoholic father. I continued to share the effects alcohol has not only on the person who uses but on those who are around the person. I tried my hardest to hold back the tears and the pictures of my childhood flashed before my eyes. After the wrap up one of my students came up to me and said "I am living your life, my dad is just like your dad". WOW! I was not expecting this.

Today I had the opportunity to sit down with my student for almost two hours and talk to him about the hurt he is feeling and about how alcohol is tearing his family apart. It was crazy how many similarities there were in our stories, our experiences, or families. I knew the trends were common in alcoholic homes but I never realized that I am not alone in what goes on. As I sat sharing, I expressed to him that we can't blame ourselves for this. It is not our faults, we did not ask for this. And we both wanted to deeply to just hear our parents say "I am sorry". But there is a chance that won't happen, we must learn to forgive our parents for the hurt and anger without ever hearing them say they are sorry. We must learn to be at peace with our lives and rest in the arms of the one Father who will always love us and who will never hurt us, our Lord and Savior.

More and more as I review my life and things I have been through as I relate them to the students I work with, the more and more I want to write a book. I am praying that one day I will have the time, energy, and resources to be able to write a book that can hopefully help hurting teenagers in this world.

Good night and God bless.
DA

What is up with those paper towels?

Is it just me or are those motion censored paper towel dispensers a pain in the rear end? I was out of town over a week ago and it seemed that everywhere I went they had the motion censored ones! Here is my frustration with them, first they don't always read you waiving your hands like a mad man under them. Second, they give you enough paper towel to maybe dry two of your fingers. Third in order to get another paper towel it has to reset itself and take forever to recognize you are waiving again! What the heck, my hands will dry quicker just because of the time and energy put into trying to obtain the paper towel! Maybe this is all in their plan, they don't want to have to spend more money on paper towels...cheap skates!

Ticking...

What makes you stressed? Does the ticking of the time passing you by stress you out when you feel like there is so much to be done? It does for me! Why can't there be more hours in the day? I guess that there would never be enough then! I really feel my answer to reducing stress is to be better organized and planning how to balance tasks, relationships, etc. Recently I have really sucked at this. I feel like I have bit off more than I can chew. I am trying to hold down three positions, a girlfriend, church, school, relationship with God, and life! The main problem is the three jobs. I am balancing my position at YFC, while being trained in a second position at YFC, and trying to wrap up my work at the mortgage company. Today I was so overwhelmed I laid down on my futon in my office and took a 45 minute nap! Oh how I love naps! Well, that is it...many probably wonder why I have not been online it's because I have a lot going on. Please pray that God will keep me afloat during this hectic time! Many blessings to you and you finish your week!

Hmmm...

So I haven't posted this week while I have been away for training in Bakersfield. I have been learning a lot which has been awesome. However the internet in the hotel kinda stinks and is up and down all the time so I haven't been able be online much which is fine because I have been able to do other things like reading and going to the gym. One thing I know for sure if that I am going to come home this week weighing 5-10 pounds more than I arrived with! We have been eating out for all of our meals and have had tons of unhealthy snacks in the classroom and of course I give into the temptation.

One thing that we talked about was our view of prayer. So often we lay out our laundry lists of requests to God in our prayers. Help me with this, change this, fix that, make it all better...you know those prayers. God already knows our struggles and our needs and He is going to take care of them. Why don't we change our prayers to asking God to show us how He wants us to be used? It's a hard concept but it is so awesome to think about. In the situations we face every day how can God use us? What is He teaching us through our day to day rutines? I am so guilty of only living for God part of my day but we are called to live for Him every minute of every day! Also, I know I am guilty of asking God in prayer to be present, to be with me. Hello, earth to Derek...God is present in every move I make and every breathe I take. I don't need to ask Him to be there, He already is! So, my hope is that I would be able to think of what my actions could amount to before I do them and really think what would Jesus do in this situation; and then to realize that prayer isn't all about me, it is about how God can use me.

Just my thoughts...Have an amazing day!

Oh Happy New Year!

I realize I am a few days late at posting Happy New Year! But it is only day three of 2007 so I think I am still safe.

I spent my time ringing in the new year with a bunch of students! Oh the joys of youth ministry. Actually I ended up having a really good time. Initially I wanted to spend my new years elsewhere but in the end I had a great time hanging out with some amazing high schoolers and youth workers!

So like most everyone the new year gives a chance for a clean slate. A time in which we can look back at the past year, do some evaluation, and set goals for the new year. 2006 was a crazy year for me. I made a huge change in my career from the business world to full time youth ministry, I had surgery, I moved, I began a relationship with an awesome girl...lots happened! It was a time of great transition and still is to a certain degree. I am left with the question of what do I want to do differently in 2007 and i really don't know. I mean I have ideas about things I would like to accomplish or see change but I haven't put anything pen to paper. I have never been a huge new years resolution person so I don't know. I just know that right now there is so much going on in my life that it sometimes seems hard to make changes even for the better.

Guess this is something I will have to continue to ponder. Until next time....

D Train

Bling Bling, Show Me The Diamond Ring!!!

So I posted last week about all the couples that I knew that were getting engaged. Just so happened in one week I have heard of two more engagements! One being my friend who proposed on new years eve...how precious! The other is a girl I briefly dated in high school that is two years younger than I. All I know is weddings are in the air. Bling bling in fall and marry in spring, guess that is how it works. Leaves me to question at age 23 am I even close to being ready to get married? Seems like the thing to do these days, the latest trend...I think I will stay out of style!

Differences In Guys & Gals

Why is the communication between guys and gals so different? I am really thinking men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Now guys say to girls "you are acting like a girl" and girls say to guys "you are such a boy"...but would we really want it any other way? Is this not why opposites attract?

Communication is key to any relationship and it is seriously hard. I am learning more and more every day how necessary open lines of communication is. And I fail pretty bad at it at times. I was raised in a don't speak, don't share, don't feel family which pretty much has carried over into my adult life and the fact that I try and keep stuff inside and think either I can fix things myself or they will just go away. However...that rarely holds true.

One area of life that I think guys and girls are different is their need for alone time. I get in this mode every few months where I get pretty much tired of people in general and just want to retreat to myself. Read a book, watch a movie, journal, go for a drive, take a trip alone, sleep...whatever it may be. This may be selfish on my part and you may think I am anti-social but it is really something I need for me. In talking to other guys they seem to agree that alone time is healthy and too much of a good thing (AKA spending time with people) can be bad at times. Maybe this is just a guy thing. Girls seem to be very relational and they would rather spend time with people and if they feel like they have a lot going on they would rather talk about it then spend time alone. Girls feel pushed away when guys just want to spend a little time to themselves. Does anyone have any explanation for this and why the two are so very different?

Maybe this is a life long mystery and the two were never meant to understand each other! I sure hope that when I have children I don't have all girls!!!

Calgone Take Me Away

Not sure how many of you remember the commercial that said "Calgone Take Me Away". I am not even sure if that commercial still even exists. Well, today seemed to be one of those days. Wasn't a bad day but I just wished I could be far away on a tropical beach reading a book and sipping on a beverage.

The morning started off very interesting. I feel bad to say I received some news that made me very happy. If you are reading this I don't want you to think I am a horrible person, however I got news that a co-worker turned in their two week notice today. I get a long with all of my co-workers except for this one individual. This person I generally avoid like the plague. For some reason we just don't get along. I know that this person talks to others about me behind my back. And I think it might be that I question this person at times and they don't like that. For the position that this person holds I just feel like they are not the best candidate. There are other staff who feel the same way as I do...so for some this announcement today came as a shock, some were sad, and others were ready to party. Out with the old and in with the new in 2007! Haha! Some good news is that there may already be a replacement candidate in the works that I like very much and really get along with so I m keeping my fingers crossed!

The day progressed and I realized just how much work I must get done before I leave for training in 8 days. I will be gone for 6 days for a regional training event. I then return for 3 weeks to leave for Texas for a national training event. Just when you think things calm down after the holidays I have to kick into high gear for the next semester. Something I have come to realize is that regardless God is in control. I used to get so stressed that everything had to be perfect and now I realize that everything always works out regardless so no need to stress!

This afternoon I attending a funeral for my roommate/best friend's grandfather. It was a nice service and reception. Many spoke of the 78 years of amazing memories that they had with this man. It made me sit back and think a little...What are people going to say at my funeral? When the day comes that I pass on, are people going to speak of good things that I have done? I don't think I am a horrible person but I have always wanted my funeral to be a celebration. Many probably think I am morbid at the age of 23 speaking of my funeral. But when I die I want people to be happy and to laugh at all the stupid things I did and smile as they remember me. I guess the motto lives true...Live Each Day As If It Were Your Last. I want to make lasting impact on the lives of people and I need to look at each day as a new opportunity to invest in others.

Now my evening concludes with relaxing at home...doing some chores...maybe reading a book. These past few days I have just felt different. Felt like I needed some alone time. Seems as if I have been reflecting a lot on the past and where I want to go in the future. Maybe I am being anti-social...maybe it is just that phase of the month where I just need to rest and enjoy life.

Until next time...
Derek

Feeling Old...

I am really starting to wonder what is it with the weddings all around me? I have had this conversation with my good friend Becky and it is just crazy that it seems everyone and their mama is getting married! She counted some crazy number like she has known of 17 engagements in 12 weeks. I can't say I know of that many but there has been a bunch! I am going to need to get a raise to afford presents for all these weddings I will be attending in spring and summer! Haha!

What put the icing on the cake (no pun intended) was last night I came across the my space page of one of my students that was on my student leadership team in 2003-2004. He is 20 years old and is engaged! There is a countdown on his page...155 days until he gets married! I officially feel old knowing that one of my students is getting married before his adult leaders! Crazy times!

Well, I should probably get ready for work. Adios for now!
D~

Quote of the Day: "Marriage requires a person to prepare 4 types of "Rings": Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering, Enduring"

Waffles & Spaghetti

Today I was talking with a co-worker about the differences between women and men. He told me that one time someone broke it down to him like this...Men are like waffles, they like things to fit with in the box, they compartmentalize things into little squares...work, recreation, dates, appointments, etc. Women on the other hand are like spaghetti...everything is all intertwined, and everything that happens in life can be related to another area of life, they can't turn things off and on like men.

I began to think of how true this really is. I have known for some time that men are very black and white and women are every shade of the rainbow. The question that perplexes me is how the world do you make both man and woman stay on the same page without killing each other? I stand by the saying "Women, can't live with um, can't like without um!"

When I Google searched waffles and spaghetti...what to my wondering eyes did appear...a book! Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti. I am thinking I need to check into this book and see what it has to say. Maybe it will answer the life long mystery of questions on the inter-workings of the male and female species!

Yesterday was an interesting day. I went to the beach with Ashley and Kristin and it was a ton of fun. But after 13 hours with two females the male inside of me was really wondering how the heck guys and gals can be so different in how they process things. In the end I realize that I have no answers, we really are just wired differently! (Oh and at least I concurred climbing the massive rock in the ocean.)

Adventure is not outside man; it is within. --George Eliot

Finish the sentence...

Thanks BK for allowing me to waste time!!!

Finish the sentence...

I don't know...what I ultimately want to be.
I talk...too much at times and not enough at others.
I love...naps!
My best friend...is getting married in May. He also is one person that really knows me well.
My first real kiss...I wish didn't happen.
I hate it when people...are rude.
Love is...hard yet worth it.
Marriage is...happening all around me.
Somewhere, someone is thinking...that they need God's help.
I'll always...enjoy being lazy.
The last time I cried was because...I was upset.
My cell phone...needs to be switched to my new phone.
When I wake up in the morning...I wish for 10 more minutes of sleep.
Before I go to sleep at night...I put in my retainer.
Right now I am thinking about...upcoming trips out of town.
Babies are...ugly when they are first born, but truly a blessing.
Today I...had lunch with some awesome friends.
Tonight I will...probably go to the movies.
Tomorrow I will...be in Pismo.
I really want...to know what my future should look like.

Sick @ Christmas

I officially think being sick at Christmas stinks! I started feeling like I was coming down with something Wednesday night and it has progressed each day. Today I spent the majoirty of the day asleep. Due to this dumb illness I have already had to miss college group with Ashley, a party with friends, miss spending time with my grandma who was here from out of town, and miss hanging out with one of my good friends. I was already to have an awesome five day weekend with friends and family and instead I have spent the begining of it in bed. I hope that I start feeling a lot better soon so I can enjoy the rest of the holidays.

Well, that is all for now. Have a very Merry Christmas!
Derek

Random Fact Of The Day:
I have not shaved in five days and I now have an almost full beard. Probably time to shave.

I Say Grrrr 2 Technology!!!

Wake up at 8am...alarm on cell was set for 6:15am but failed to go off! Freakin blackberry...grr!

Turn on laptop at 2pm and totally screwed up! Had to uninstall and reinstall a bunch of stuff...grrr!

Tried to print some pics for Christmas gifts and photo printer first wouldn't read my flash drive and then once I got the thing working it was out of ink! Grrr to no ink!

In the process I realized I lost my digital camera...in the moment grrr. But I got home and finally found it!

Sometimes I question is technology helps or hurts us? I feel like I wasted a lot of time because of technology today!

Good night...D~

Pic I was trying to print...me and sissy with Santa.

Da Bomb Dot Com

One of my more recent sayings is "That is da bomb dot com" (aka dabomb.com) So, what exactly is da bomb dot com? It is similar to my other favorite sayings "That's tiz-ight!" Basically they both means pretty freakin awesome!

This weekend was pretty da bomb dot com in my opinion. I spent a lot of quality time with some of the most important people in my life. I know one of my struggles in life has been putting work before play and this weekend I got to spend a whole lot of time in play which was awesome. If we don't make life fun, then what is life worth? Friday night was fun times with Ash. Saturday more fun times with Ash as we Christmas shopped and then car shopped as Ash bought her first new car, and then I got to meet her cousin Josh who is pretty awesome too. Today was great with church, lunch with my new church family, and then to the movies to see "The Presuit Of Happyness" (Yes that is a Y, not an I). The day concluded with working a little and doing some wrapping of gifts. All and all a da bomb dot com weekend!

So, in seeing the movie today I had a chance to step back and ask myself what is happiness and how exactly am I presuing it? I think so often I short-change being happy. For instance, tonight I got home, had stuff to carry in from my car, and someone was parked in my parking spot, a covered stall that is reserved for me...well me or my roomie. Someone had the nerve to part there. I got all pissed off that someone parked in my spot. Seriously, something lame to get mad at right? Why did I sacrafice my happiness by letting someone make me mad. Maybe whoever parked there needed that spot just for tonight? This year it really does not seem like Christmas. It is hard to believe that Christmas is in one week. This week will be nuts with Christmas parties, wrapping gifts, purchasing last minute presents, and the joy of seeing relatives I hardly see throughout the year. One thing I have been trying to tell myself this Christmas is to remember the real reason for the season. Yes, I admit that can sound a little cheesey. But really, Christmas become all about the gifts, the long lines, the lack of parking, the obligations. Really the only gift that matters came over 2000 years ago and I would never want to consider the gift of Jesus Christ entering the world as an obligation.

The challenge for me this week will be to remember the real meaning of Christmas and to persue the happiness that can only be found in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Have a great night and amazing Week Before Christmas!!!

In Him,
Derek

Today in a nut shell....

was pretty good. I am tired. I got up at 5:30am to take a friend to the train station, luckly I came back and crashed again. But I still don't feel fully rested...I have been tired all week for some weird reason.

Had a yummy lunch at Olive Garden. It was a strategic meeting for our high school ministries. For some reason I just feel uncertain as to the impact of our clubs and what direction they should be going next semester and in coming years. Lots to ponder.

Other highlights of the day...My mom officially got her promotion at work! I am way excited for her. I went to see a specialist about the pain I have been having in the area where I had surgery just 11 months ago. Everything checked out fine...nothing torn or injured...just soreness around the area of scar tissue. Basically I just have to live with it which is fine as long as I don't have to have surgery again! I also got to catch up with my awesome buddy Kevin today! We try and talk about once a month or so but its been a while, he lives in Michigan. Kevin and I roomed together at Summer Institute in Indiana and made a YFC relationship and a deep friendship. It was great to talk! I am looking forward to seeing him in January as he will be in Southern California and then we are rooming together again in Dallas at Mid Winter in February! Super excited to see him again. My day will continue to be amazing as I get ready to go hang out with my amazing girlfriend...it has been a hectic week and we are looking forward to catching up, eating some pizza, and watching some movies.

So...with that said...have an awesome night my friends!!!
D$

Wow...It's Been A While!!!

So, I found out a few days ago that my good friend Becky created a Blog Spot. And it made me stop and think...oh wait, I have a Blog Spot! Today I decided to log in and was in total shock that the last post was from August of 2005! Over a year and four months ago! Many changes have taken place since my last post...I thought I would follow up to "The Unknown".

So, I recall that I didn't pass the challenge exam I was referencing...I think I got a 78...just two points short. I was majorly ticked off and I tried to challenge the questions on the exam but was shot down by the Dean of Academics! However, I did end up taking the classes I needed and ended up graduating on time from Heald in January. I have since returned back to school at Colorado Christian University...taking all online courses!

The question of should I return to volunteering with Campus Life cracks me up! I forgot that I was debating it! Little did I know at that time I would return to volunteering and end up on full time staff!!! Nine months after that last post I accepted a position with Youth for Christ! I am lovin it!!! That also answers the unknown quesion about my career. I ended up leaving that job, going to work for another company...hating it...and ended up at YFC!

I assume I eventually felt better from my illness at the time or I probably wouldn't be here writing this today...some 16 months later.

I ended up staying with my old roommate through the summer of '06 and then moved out of my condo and in with my best friend, Brad. Just last night we were talking about how crazy it is that we have lived together for 6 months. Now he is getting married in 5 months. Freakin weird!

Shortfalls are continual. That is one thing I have learned. We are NOT perfect. I fail every day. It's learning from my failures or my mistakes which is key. God has continued to bless my life and teach me new things both personally and in respect to relationships with others.

So, I think I touched on a responce to the unknown...which has become the known. Haha. Change of job into full time ministry and returning to school were two big changes in life. One new change is that I have an amazingly beauitful new girlfriend, Ashley. The Lord has truly blessed me by providing this fun, caring, challenging, awesome, woman of God. I posted a pic of us below.

Well, I shall put this post up and make it an effort to post other random thoughts from time to time. Thanks for reading this...if anyone other there is reading this...hahaha. God bless and Merry Christmas!!!

DeReK

The Unknown...

Does anyone out there dislike the unknown like me? I know that there is a purpose to us not knowing the future...in a world such as we are in today we have enough information coming at us every day, but I guess sometimes I just wish I had the answers to questions, but I guess that comes with time. Questions I am currently pondering:

-Did I pass the test? I took a challenge exam to test out of a class at school and it was not what I expected. I studied the course outline but the test questions were totally out in left field. I will know tomorrow the outcome. Praying for the passing 80%.
-Do I want to commit to a new school year as a staff volunteer with Campus Life through Youth for Christ? I loved the time with the high schoolers over the past two years. I am really debating on returning in a few weeks for the new school year.
-Will my school schedule work out? After this quarter I should only have three classes and then graduate in January. I am just worried about the three classes being offered when I need them so I can graduate on time.
-What does the future housing arrangement look like for me? My current roommate will be moving out and I don't know who will be moving in or if I will stay living alone for a bit.
-Will I be well soon? I have been feeling ill since Sunday night...still not feeling the best. I wish I knew how long I will feel icky.
-What does my career look like for me? I love my current company I work for. My boss (the owner) is an amazing friend, mentor, and father figure. I love working for and with him. I love me job...although very stressful. I guess my question is...is this it? Is this the job I was finally looking for that I will spend my life at? At the age of 21 I am already feeling like I am ready to settle down...for those of you who know me I am a man who has had MANY jobs!
-How can I overcome my shortfalls? There are many areas in my life that I want to improve at with personal struggles and relationships with people. I guess I wish I had answers to how I could become a better man of God.

I guess the questions could go on and on if I wanted to keep thinking...but I am tired so I will wrap it up for now. I guess I need to learn the patience is a vertue and answers come in due time...not on my schedule. Good night and God Bless.

D~