Sometimes there are no answers

I found myself asking "Why" the past few days and realizing sometimes we won't have the answers. We don't always understand why bad things happen to good people. It also became clear to me that so often I look at all the problems in my life and feel sorry for myself when really I have no idea the hurt and pain that others are going through. My problems are not even a drop of water compared to what others are experiencing. As I type this blog two of my friends are going through a world of pain. Both of them are battling with losing their mothers. Both of these friends are younger than I. One who's mom is battling day by day with cancer that has taken over her entire body. The other who's mom has been in a coma for five weeks and the family is coming to terms with removing life support as there is no chance for mom to wake up. There are no words that I can say that can ease any pain these two families are going through. I try and put myself in their shoes and it doesn't even compare to an ounce of what their are feeling. I could not imagine losing my mom or looking at her and knowing she is going to pass. My heart goes out to my friends and their families. All we can do is know that God is in control and He is the only one that can comfort.

Meet my friend...

I have been meaning to post this blog since last week. I would like to introduce you to my friend...or should I say half-a-friend in the picture...Bob the cockroach.

You see a few weeks back I was driving and out of the side of my eye I say something moving on the passenger floor. I looked over and there was Bob...the biggest cockroach I have ever seen. At least four inches in length. I immediately pulled over, jumped out of my car and went around to dispose of Bob. But he was a fast bugger...as I went to get him he ran up inside the dash of my car. I could not find away to get him. For the next few days I drove around worried that he was going to jump out and crawl on me while I was driving. But after a few days I forgot about Bob until...

Fast forward to last week. I was visiting a buddy of mine and he wanted to see my new truck. He asked if it had four wheel drive. I told him yes, however I didn't know how to use it. He told me to hop in and he would teach me. So, I got in the passenger seat and we took off. We went around the block and pulled back up to my buddies office. When we were getting out he said "Derek, what is THAT?" and pointed to my vent. I went around and looked and there was Bob...dead of course...and stuck to the vent. Actually taking up almost all of the vent. I started laughing. Then I thought how I had the air on earlier and how I recalled things coming out of the vent and I thought it was dust or something...nope...it was pieces of Bob. Ewww.

So I drove around a few hours wondering how I would get him out since he was inside the vent and the vent does not come off. Leave it to one of my bestest friends, Bec, lil miss McGiver to come up with a solution. She pulled our her trusty lil tweezers and I dissected Bob out of the vent. The only problem was he was too big to come through so I had to break him into pieces to remove him. Wait there was another problem, I had to leave the air running to get him out or else he would fall inside the back of the vent so I got to have Bob guts fly all over me while I pulled him out. What you see in the above picture is the remaining chunk of Bob on the ground after I got him out. RIP Bob...it was nice knowing you!

I could live here....

It kind of intrigues me to live in a big city and work in a big sky scraper. But then on the other hand I am sure it is different to live there then to drive through on the freeway. Hmmm.

Overrated

For some time now I have been looking forward to trying a Chick-fil-a. I have heard that their chicken sandwiches are amazing and I am totally a fan of a good chicken sandwiches. So, this past weekend I was finally able to try one and it was good, however I feel like it is a little overrated. It was not the best sandwich I have ever had...honestly it was just pretty average. And not only that but it comes with pickles...which I am not a fan of. And even more sad it doesn't come with lettuce! You have to pay to add lettuce on. So, my dear readers Chick-fil-a I believe is just another O.C. fad.

Frustrations...

Sometimes it is hard to understand why organizations have to be so difficult. I am frustrated with FPU. Great school. Love the people. However, I don't always understand reasons behind policies and decisions. Looking into the possibility of switching programs and it's like pulling teeth to try and get answers to which path is best. I am trying to remain patient and calm through this process and hope that there are answers that just have to be uncovered.

The Church & Homosexuality

The Church and Homosexuality...a topic that was discussed amongst my Intro to Youth Ministry class as well as at the Youth Network Meeting last week. This topic came up as a duo came to Fresno...Jason & deMarco. Two Christian men, gay partners, who love each other and love God...and they are Christian singers. They also released an independent film recently. Here is the trailer clip...

The topic of homosexuality isn't going away. It is here with us for at least the next decade so what is the church to do about it? Kids are feeling unaccepted and unloved by the church. More and more we are going to lose them because we are going to treat them like they are not human and all in the name of Jesus. I am starting to question, where is the grace? Where in the bible does it say that homosexuality is the worst sin imaginable, aren't all sins equal? I have a hard time standing against people like Jason and deMarco who are trying to spread God's love to a group of people in our society that is usually beaten up by the church.

I investigated this more after seeing the above video clip in class and at my meeting. I came across an article written by Jason and I thought I would put up a link. It really does make you think about this topic on a whole different level. Let me know your thoughts.
http://www.spiritpop.com/reconciled.htm

Solitude

Today in my practicum class we took fifteen minutes of solitude. It was an amazing thing. We were all silent and for the first half we listened to an audio of a woman's voice and she took us through letting go the busyness around us and bringing God into the center of all our thoughts. It was a very cool experience.

I began to picture all the areas of my life: work/ministry, friend, family, my home, school and I pictured my self hurrying from place to place and realizing how often I don't put God in the center of what I do. How often I can see me going through the actions of life and not focusing on the fact that everything truly revolves around Him. I left the class and drove across town and didn't turn on my music, didn't talk on my phone, just spent another fifteen or so minutes listening to the sounds around me and taking the things of life in.

It really made me think that I never spend moments just in silence. Life is so busy and it causes us to loose touch. I encourage you to spend a moment today in the silence...no music, no reading, no talking...just be still and know that He is there.

Adios mi Beemer

It's official...I am a one car man. I juggled two for the longest time...then it went to three, back to two, and now down to one. I handed over the keys to the beauty known as the Beemer, Z-4 Roadster, the Chick Mobile, or as Jen would call it the Tic-Tac. Good bye sweet car, we had some fun memories...but we also had a lot of horrible ones...accidents, vandalism, tickets...I bid you farewell lil car.

Whirl Wind Weekend...

Recapping Friday to Monday...

Highlights...
-Got to spend time with a student who moved away.
-Got to meet a new friend...Valerie.
-Had dinner with Valerie and two other friends.
-Heard a pretty awesome local speaker and mission behind your ministry.
-Was able to chat with Gracie online!
-Had lunch with my buddy Brett who I hadn't hung out with in almost a year!
-Had lunch with Becky which is always a pleasure.

Lowlights...
-Got up way too early for a conference I had to work at all day.
-Food at the conference was icky.
-Visited a church that was way different than mine which was a little too in the box for me. (Caused me to have greater appreciation for my church)
-Worked late on Friday night.
-Became frustrated with students lack of commitment and respect.
-Cable got hacked again and stopped working.
-Not nearly enough sleep...or enough time spent at home.

Time to start another new week...seems as if they continue to fly by!!!

Freakin Criminals!

So, someone hacked my cable again!!!!! I turned on my tv last night and blurry picture and sketchy sound. Luckily my internet is still up today, knock on wood. I don't understand why whichever scammy neighbor is stealing cable won't get the picture. They cut them off two weeks ago and they struck again and in the process they jacked up my service! Can you tell I am not happy? So ya...repair men back out on Monday to attempt to fix this again. I am going to demand some kind of lock to fix this. Okay, thats all.

Bye bye cursed ice chest!

So, tonight I had to bid farewell to a very nice, relatively new ice chest/cooler. You see we had a youth event and I asked a volunteer and student to empty the water and excess ice at the end of the event and they spilled it all over the floor. So, we placed the empty ice chest in the back of my pick-up truck for me to take back to the office. This isn't a little ice chest...it is probably four to five feet in length and two to three feet deep. Well, I dropped off kids and was heading home. I got home and looked in the back of my truck and the ice chest is gone. Yes, gone. I thought it was some kind of sick twisted joke and I stood very perplexed. But after contacting students to verify it was indeed in the truck and I wasn't losing my mind like I left it at the event, I came to conclude it flew out of my truck. How something this large flew out without me hearing or seeing I have no idea. Maybe my music (AKA jams) were too loud for me to notice. I do recall a car honking at one point but I didn't understand so I kept driving, that could have been at the point I lost it. Who knows. So, I hate to report that YFC owns one less ice chest and either someone got a free ice chest and is very happy tonight or someone is very sad because the hit this foreign object on the dark road. I declare that the ice chest was cursed and therefore possibly demon possessed and therefore Jesus set it free so it could cause us no more harm. Haha. RIP blue ice chest. Now we shall wait for my boss to get the voicemail telling him that its gone, haha.

Not gonna lie...complete and total shock...

So, last Friday I took an Econ exam. I had econ the first semester of my junior year of high school...which was umm about seven year ago. Which means my brain hasn't retained too much info from that class that long ago. Everyone in my college Econ class was freaking out because the professor we have bases the entire class on a few exams. No homework, no quizzes, no papers...just exams. You do poor on exams = you you do poor in class, not much room to mess up. Friday was the first exam and I was a bit scared of not doing well but I ended up being the first one done in about a class of 35. I found it fairly easy but knew there were some questions I was not confident about.

Today the exams were passed back. The professor explained that the class average was 76.4 which is not horrible but not the best. He went onto say two students got a perfect score. I laughed and thought I will be lucky if I even got an A at all. The professor walked around to pass back the tests. I was one of the last to receive mine back and I looked in disbelief as I read the red ink of the number "100". How in the world was I one of the perfect scores? I do enjoy business but not that much, haha. Maybe this is a sign I should become an economist...NOT.

The scary part is tomorrow I have a statistics exam and I hate math. Yes, I know I worked in finance, how can I hate math? Finance is basically using a computer that does everything for you. Statistics is a bunch of formulas that no one is ever going to use...well wait maybe a slim 1% of society like my BFF, Brad, who plans to make a killing off of stats. Hehe. Back to studying.

Bye Bye Oscar the Fish

So, many of you have known my huge fish the Oscar's. I have had them for a good three years or so. They truly were larger than fish life. About a year and a half ago I moved the fish habitat down to the YFC office. One of the three kicked the bucket shortly after the move...some months later another one left. So, now I was left with one. The lil scrawny white fish that always got picked on by the other two.

Well, the neighborhood kids had a good year and a half of visiting the fish. During that time the remaining Oscar came to know Jesus...says Kelley, my hilarious co-worker. She said it was all the praise and worship music she played him. She states this because he went from eating little feeder fish to now co-habitating with them and treating them like friends. The little gold fish now swim freely with their big mate. Well, due to the remodeling of the YFC office the boss man said the fish had to go. So, tonight we packed up and hit the road and the Oscar and all his little pals are living with Auntie Kelley at her house. Bye bye fish and fish tank. PTL I don't have to move or take care of that thing any more.

D$ to D-Chubby Tubby

Over the years I have not been one to be concerned with my weight. I was always a skinny lil fellow. But my father always told me he was the same way and then he entered his 20's and it was downhill from there. Well folks, I am soon to be 24 and officially concerned with my weight. My weight has fluctuated within 5 pounds for the last year or two. Well, I recently paid a visit to the doctor after feeling under the weather and I appeared to be ten pounds over the high end of my previous weight. Now I admit I haven't weighed in, in a while but I must admit this was a shock to me. I looked down at the weight and could not believe my eyes. But as I look in the mirror and as I look at pics (thank you very much BK) I do appear larger than in the past. I have also recently experience the inner thigh rubbing irritation problem. (Probably TMI) So, ya I guess I gotta exercise more regularly and actually do the "d" word that I never thought I would have to do...diet. Here's to a hopefully healthier, leaner, me.

One Church...

Last nights Power Rally was pretty awesome. How cool is it to see youth from all different schools, all different churches, all different economic backgrounds come together and worship and pray together? Pretty cool. The speaker was pretty much right on when he said we are United...One School, One City, One Country, One World, One Church. It doesn't matter where you come from, we are called to be united in Jesus Christ and in sharing that bond we are one in Him.

It the Week of Prayer for Youth...will you join me in praying for our students???

Post Secrets...Oh So True

Rainbow at the end of the storm near???

So, I was really hoping that today would be the start of a new and much more fantastic week. Little did I know this past week was only the rain and the storm was yet to come. I hardly slept last night and came down with something. My ears, head, and throat hurt and I had the burning up and then freezing cold issues. Yes, I am sick.

With the sickness came me having to call a church (at 6am mind you) that I was supposed to lead the youth services and tell them I could not come. They had to cancel youth services because they had no one to lead them as I was to fill in for their Youth Pastor. I also had to miss my student leadership meeting and even more saddening I had to miss my little sister's birthday party and I could tell she was pretty bummed. Instead I traded my day for the urgent care, some drugs, and an afternoon of sleep.

I am hoping to have a speedy recovery because this is quite a busy week with work and I had lots to do. But maybe this is a sign that I need to slow my butt down. Hopefully the rainbow is coming up soon at the end of this storm!

One Day I Am Gonna Learn This Dance!

The week from h...e...double hockey sticks!

The week was the longest, most discouraging, most unpleasant week I think I have experienced in a long while. The list of problems, issues, hurt/pain, devastation, and frustrations I have experienced in a long time. From frustrations at school, to friends who have had a family member in critical condition, to friends with relationship issues, to co-workers leaving, to personal let downs, to problems with car, internet, phone, and toilet, to horrible shopping experiences, to an issue with a complaining parent, and pain in my jaw/ear/head...this week had it all. I am ready for the week to be over. The level of emotional and physical drain has reached it capacity for a good 6 months. Bye bye crappy week...hello new one.

Walmart...The Anti-Christ?

I officially can say I hate Walmart. At least Walmart in Fresno. I visited one in Indiana and it was quite different than here. It was actually clean and had friendly people...go figure!

Last Sunday I took a trip to the Walmart as I had a list of items I needed to get. Big mistake! Never go to Walmart on a Sunday afternoon! So the shopping experience itself was not very pleasant but after I checked out I realized an item I bought scanned for double the price it was tagged for. You see the item was on the clearance isle and was half off. So, I ended up getting charged $17 over, including tax. It is were a dollar or two I would have said no big deal but this was a bit larger than that.

Well, it took 40 minutes of me fighting with the rude customer service lady to get my money back. It wasn't pleasant. She said there was nothing she could do since it rang up wrong. She said she had to go off of the computer. I thought that was ludicrous seeing as it had a price sticker on it for another price and there were others on the shelf just like it with that price. No way was I going to back down. That is false advertising. I demanded a manager...well I waited, and waited, and no manager. So she asked me to step aside at about the 30 minute marker so she could help other customers. I refused. I said I was not moving until the manager arrived. She said "Oh you are going to be stubborn", I replied "Well you are providing the worst possible customer service, so yes I am not moving, maybe it will get you to get the manager quicker". After about another five minutes or so another cashier said "Sir, I am sorry about this, I don't know where the manager is, I am just going to give you your money so you will be on your way." Funny since she was in the same position as the other lady who was helping me who flat out lied and said she couldn't do it without the manager.

Needless to say I left that store feeling as if it indeed was the Anti-Christ. Walmart is taking over the world. Seriously, I think I am going to pay the extra money and go to Target from now on.

TMJ

Temporomandibular joint (TMJ) syndrome or TMJ joint disorders are medical problems related to the jaw joint. The TMJ connects the lower jaw to the skull (temporal bone) under your ear.

I have joined a dear friend of mine with a disordered called TMJ. You see the fantastic oral surgeon jacked up my jaw when I had my wisdom teeth out. Now daily I have a wonderful pain in my jaw that goes up into my ear. It is quite painful. I have gotten my jaw adjusted two days in a row and it is one of the most horrendous pains I have felt. It literally feels as if I am going to jump out of my own skin. Not a fun experience. My hopes is that in the coming days and weeks the pain will lesson, my jaw will realign, and I will feel better. Until then, down with the dentists!

A time of joy and a time of pain...

It is hard to believe that today my baby sister turned 18. She is a legal adult. That is hard for me to grasp. It seems like just yesterday there were dirty diapers and cribs. I am proud of my little sis and yes she will always be little to me. She is a beautiful young woman who I adore.

As she turns 18 it makes me feel old. Quite old. I am approaching my Mid-20's. Before you know it I will be 30. Scary to think that time can pass us by so quickly.

This all makes me think of life and of the future. Right now one of my closest friends is experiencing the most pain possible. She is sitting at a hospital along side a bed where her mother is in a coma. She has been there since Monday. I could not imagine seeing my mom on life support because she can't breathe on her own and to know that in less than three days they have had to restart her heart a dozen times. It is hard to fathom the pain that my friend and her family are feeling.

My friends mom makes me rethink the fact of being old. I am in my mid-20's. I could possibly have 70 years of life remaining. (Only God knows when I will leave this earth) I guess I need to take each day one at a time and be grateful for the treasure that each new day is, as we are not promised tomorrow. Are you living each one as if it could be your last?

Such Is Life

Today's Fortune Cookie: "When one door closes, another door opens"

Didn't think much of the fortune at lunch at first...just kind of chuckled since I have heard that one before. Then tonight I experienced the closed door. A closed door that for a moment made me feel sad, but then I remembered the fortune cookie. This door may have closed but I trust God will open another. If not another door maybe a window to crawl through. =)

The storms will come but God will provide

Today was a very sad day at YFC. Two of our beloved staff resigned. Both were what we call Team Leaders...which means they were in charge of a ministry department. One of the two has been with YFC for over 30 years. I almost started crying when I heard the news. These are two men who have had a huge impact on the lives of our youth and who have both impacted my life over the past two years. It is sad to say good bye but we must remember that though this may seem like a storm now, God is good and He will guide us through and ultimately provide for our ministries.

Quote of the day...

"Character comes from who we are. Credentials can never accomplish what character can."

Good quote to really take to heart. Doesn't matter how great our resume may look or what we accomplish...what matters is who we are.

Passage from "To Know as We are Known"

"To sit in a class where the teacher stuffs our minds with information, organizes it with finality, insists on having the answers while being utterly uninterested with our views, and forces us into a grim competition for grades - to sit in such a class is to experience a lack of space for learning."

"But to study with a teacher who not only speaks but listens, who not only gives answers but asks questions, and welcomes our insights, who provides information and theories that do not close doors but open new ones, who encourages students to help each other learn - to study with such a teacher is to know the power of learning space"

Parker Palmer (pg. 71)

I appreciate professors who teach like the second paragraph, not the first. Learning is interaction, not just lecturing. PTL for instructors who actually value the students.

Powerful Video

I survived...

So, many of you know I spent all last week planning a two night weekend retreat for my student leadership team. I am happy to report we are home safe and had an awesome weekend. There were challenges indeed however I know God met us there. I love my kids and my volunteers too. I seriously wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for them.

Last week was a whirl wind of busyness with planning for the retreat plus other work ans school related stuff, thus no bloggin action however I hope to post some new stuff this week.

Have a great start to your week! And remember hugs equal happiness! =)

The Wisdom Is Gone

So, yesterday marked the two week anniversary of me having my wisdom teeth out. All I can say is this hasn't been a walk in the park. I developed two dry sockets which meant they had to be packed which meant I had to go to the oral surgeon every other day. A little bit of a drive and time out of my day. Well, today he took them out for the final time. But my jaw seems to be hurting...Jen seems to think maybe I developed TMJ...the little consent form I signed did say it was possible. I just hope the pain goes away and doesn't stick around. They also have me this sick lil syringe and told me that it will take 1-2 weeks for the holes to heal so I need to shoot water in the holes after every meal...sexy huh? What a freakin process! Glad it's a once in a lifetime sitch.

150+ Miles Later

Coalinga...there's a first time for everything right? A two hour drive round trip turned into almost four hours. Let's just say I need to learn how to read maps. Just because it says "towards" it doesn't mean "merge on"...oops my bad! At least along the way I got to see things like Chevron's oil dwellings, Harris Ranch, the Naval Air Base, and the city of Heron. Haha. At least I was able to get my jam on...ghetto superstar Tyrone came out in the car! Fun times.

PTL for...

...this girl! She is freakin amazing! All I can say is I am happy that the past is the past and we can let the good times roll! I love ya j.Lo!

What are you teaching?

Have you ever thought that things that you don't stand for or speak of still teach a message? If you are apathetic towards something it still teaches an underlining message that you don't care.

I was challenged this week in my youth ministries class to think about how I teach, specifically with my students. I can teach that something is not important by specifically not talking about it. If I don't encourage my students to invite friends then I am saying inviting friends isn't important. Same with prayer, reading the bible, or anything else for that matter. Really made me think a little...especially in the case of our student leadership team.

So, I guess the question is...do you speak for what you stand for or does your silence convey the message?

The Sky is Falling...The Sky is Falling!!!

Yesterday morning at 4:36am I had a flash back to the 2nd grade. I felt as if I was Chicken Little running around yelling "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!". You see I was awoken by a very loud bang and my apartment shaking. I live on the top story and there is a garage below me, I am the end unit. Well...the first thing I thought was "Oh crap my apartment is caving in". Then once I realized that it was no longer moving, I jumped out of bed, grabbed my glasses, and turned on a light.

I looked out the window to see a garbage truck, yes my friends, a garbage truck. So, I told myself that I must have been dreaming and my apartment really wasn't shaking and all I heard was a dumb garbage truck. Well, I went back to bad.

Fast forward a few hours...I went out the gate on the side of my house to go to my truck and I couldn't open it...there was something blocking the way. I was able to push a little to allow me to stick my head through. The brick wall that separates the walkway along my house and where the garbage dumpsters was collapsed. In deed the garbage truck went through the brick wall throwing it onto my apartment causing it to shake! PTL! I am not crazy after all. I called my property manager and reported what happened but I guess they move slow cause the massive pile of bricks it still there tonight.

So, I guess the sky really wasn't falling after all.

The first day of the rest of your life...

Today marked a new chapter in my life. I officially began classes at Fresno Pacific University. It has been a long journey in transferring there to finish up my degree but I do believe it is going to be well worth it. I know its only the beginning and there will be good days and there will be bad, just as with anything. I really think I will enjoy my professors, my peers, the campus, the environment, the courses. I have already met some really nice people and I look forward to building more friendships. It should be a fun journey. I have saddled up my horse and I am going to hit the trail and hope to be done much sooner than later. And ladies, I am single, so the ring by spring is an option....JUST KIDDING!!!

And on a darker side...today didn't start out so bright when I woke up and thought it felt way too bright to be 6am and I felt way too well-rested. Then I looked at my clock and saw 8:03am. Yes, I had class at 8am and I was already late on the first day of school. I made a frantic dash to get ready and leave within 10 minutes. My alarm clock seriously didn't go off. And no I am not kidding, it didn't go off. Just call me Jen. =)

Yes, I am proud of my man bag...

So, I recently purchased a bag for school. Its kind of a messenger bag of types. Its solid black. I like it. If you want to call it my man bag you can...but I refuse to call it a murse. My dear friend Becky insisted that it is a murse...AKA man purse but I disagree. That's all...

Gotta laugh out loud sometimes...

Check out this video: Carter The Church Assistant Episode 3



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Yes, I am a fool!

So, I know I am not the best speller and I always spell check my blogs before I post them. Well...little did I know when I went back and looked after you spell check you have to click another button before you publish the post in order for it to save the spelling corrections! So, for months, possibly years I have been doing this and all my blogs are full of spelling errors! My bad! I am such a fool! I will make sure to click the extra button from now on! Gosh I am lame!

The Lake House

About every six months or so I head to the video store and take home about 4-6 used videos on DVD. I buy them when they have their sale for 4 for $20 or something like that. I typically get videos that I have yet to see and I have heard good things about. It then takes me about six months to end up watching all the DVDs I buy. I watch one movie a month if I am lucky.

So, last night I was looking for a DVD in my collection to watch and I came across The Lake House. I picked it up and thought: hmmm I haven't watched this yet, I'll give it a try. So, I popped it in and began watching. One word sums up the whole movie: bizarre! I heard good things about the movie from a few friends when it was in theaters. It wasn't a bad movie but it was very confusing. I mean a man living in 2004 communicating with a woman who is living in 2006 and they both are experiencing current times in their lives. At the end of course they were together, embracing one another, however I still don't understand how they got to that point. Did she go back in time? Did he get fast-forward to the future. Who knows. All in all a very weird movie. If you wanna borrow it let me know!

1 Egg or 2, That is thy question

So, I decided I wanted to make some muffins this morning. I went and pulled out a box of cinnamon strudel muffin mix from the cupboard. I looked at the back of the box and it called for milk...check, oil...check, 2 eggs...oh no...I only had 1 egg. I decided to take my chances and make the muffins with only 1 egg. I was really craving them! Well, low and behold they turned out just fine with 1 egg! They taste delicious! I can't tell a single difference with missing an egg! PTL for the muffin man!

The Pain Continues...

Today is day five of having my wisdom teeth out...all five of them that is. I have been experiencing a high level of pain on my right side which has went into my ear and head. It is causing me to have trouble sleeping as well as still not being able to really eat. The pain meds are not even working for long. So, I made the bold step to call the doctor to see if I have a dry socket. He is going to see me in just over an hour at his office. What a guy going back in on a Friday night to see a patient. So, I should know soon if that is the case and hopefully a little patch with some medicine will make it feel better. I want the pain to stop and the healing to be done already!

Confused

Do you ever just feel really confused? Like you don't know if you're comin or goin? I feel semi-confused about life and just everything going on right now. I really wish I could get sometime of clear picture as to what all I am supposed to do and not do. I guess only time shall tell.

Bungee Jumping!!!

I got to go bungee jumping from 152 feet yesterday at Great America! It was freakin awesome. We went 60 MPH! I have never been so scared to be so high up yet so excited at the same time. When we released it was such an awesome feeling, really it was indescribable. I want to do it again!

New Neighbors...

Meet my new neighbors...the popo's and the criminals of Fresno County! Yes, thats right ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to announce that the exchange of criminals from cop cars to the popo van that takes them underground into the county jail now takes place right outside my back window! In the last week I have seen more people in handcuffs than ever! It's kinda fun to watch out the back window to the big open parking lot and watch them transfer the criminals! I just hope its never me being transferred, haha!

Hectic Times

Do you ever wish that the world would slow down for a little while? Like maybe you could freeze time and just relax for a bit and have nothing happening around you? I sure do. I feel a tad bit overwhelmed these with school about to start and with work quickly picking up pace. I am not ready!!!

Well, at least for this weekend I can forget about it because I am leaving for Great America in a few short minutes. Then I come home Sunday and Monday morning have my wisdom teeth out...not looking forward to that. But hey at least I will get to sleep a lot! So, I won't be around much the next few days but I have lots of things to blog about eventually...readings, stories, events, pics,etc. So hopefully I will get to them soon!

Bye Bye Bertha - Part II

Dearly Beloved:

Bertha is forever resting in peace. Yesterday I wished her well as I put her down to sleep. Or should I say passed her onto someone else to inherit her problems. I figured that I put about 6000 miles on her in almost two years, mostly just for Campus Life, and spent nearly $4000 for the original purchase plus all the repairs. And even with that she was leaking oil, AC broke, and transmission was going on. I settled on taking $750 to just get her off my hands so I could move on. The song will forever remain in my head and heart..."Big beauitful Bertha, Big beauitful babe, whoa whoa whoa, Big Beauitful Bertha".

Good Times

"Stop making me laugh, you're hurting my intestans" -jen

I must say it is always a joy to hang out with my good friend. Never a dull moment!

No Go Sitch!

18 minutes naps are a no go sitch! You see we had two hours of an afternoon break from our conference. I came back to the room to take a lil nap since I didn't sleep well last night. My ideal nap is about 50 minutes. It is prefect for me to rest. I am rooming with two guys over age 50 and the both swear naps should be 15 minutes, no longer. So, they said they would set their alarms for 18 minutes to be gererous to me. Well, they were both out within 30 seconds. It took me 10 minutes to fall asleep which left about 8 minutes for my name before I was rudely awakened by the beeping of an alarm! I laid there for a few more minutes really despising the situation. I think a good nap is in order when I get home...50 minute minimum!

Nice Reminder

It's nice to be with people throughout the state and country who share in the family of YFC and are serving in ministry along side you. It is also a great reminder of how important our work is. Sometimes I feel like it isn't worth it but then I come to these conferences and I feel refreshed and I feel like it is worth it and I can go on. Anywho, I am tired and I am not sure if this makes sense so I am going to sleep now. Good night!

And I'm Off...

I am off to Sacramento today for a regional conference and won't be back until Saturday. I then go to speak at a church Sunday, head to a birthday part in Hanford, then Monday plan for a youth event which is Tuesday, spend a few days working, head to Great America for a mini-vacation next Friday-Sunday. Come home Sunday for The Commissioning and Back2School Night of Prayer. Wake up early Monday (the 20th) and have my freakish 5 wisdom teeth out. From there, bed and vicodine. Oh the joys of life! =) Hope you are enjoying the end of your summer!

The day has really come

I talked to my mom this morning and she informed me that they are moving! My parents have been talking of moving for many months and I didn't think it would happen. Well, after nine long years in the same apartment they are moving. It should be good for them. I am happy. It's just crazy to think they are really doing it. And that means I have to empty all my junk out of their garage...not looking forward to that!

Emotional Vomit...

...I hear its a good thing to do. To basiclly throw up all the junk you have inside you, specifically on paper. I was advised to try it...hmmm any advice? hehe

Genuine

So, I had lunch after church with a good friend...actually an amazing friend. She posed the question to me "What makes someone genuine?" The question really got me thinking about what it means to be genuine and who are the geniune people in my life? So, I decided to look up the definition on good ole dictionary.com...so in case you wanted to know what the definition fo genuine is here ya go...

Genuine: Possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, or origin; not counterfeit; authentic; real; free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere.

The cause of hurt...

I picked up the book Sex God by Rob Bell on Friday. It was 50% off at the store and I had been wanting to read it so I was like, what the heck! Well, I am only into the third chapter and it is a pretty awesome book. I love how Bell gets to the center of issues and is pretty raw with calling things what they are and not sugar coating them.

I had had numerous conversation with people who have been hurt or have issues with the church...or issues with other groups for instance jobs, school, a group of people, etc. I found this very interesting what Bell says "I often meet people who aren't part of a church and don't want anything to do with God because of all those religious hypocrites. Often they have great pain that the blame on 'the church'. But it's not possible for an institution, whether it's a church or a school or a business or even the government, to hurt somebody. Institutions are made up of people. People hurt people." (Bell, p. 45)

This really got me thinking because it's so true. People hurt people. We can often say we have problems with an organization and really we have problems with a person or multiple people in that organization that have hurt us. This really is the cause of our pain, of our anger, or our hurt. But guess what, it's way easier to blame a church or an organization for our hurt because they can't fight back. It's when we realize the person that hurt us that things get complicated because we don't want to confront the person to try and resolve whatever the matter is. We begin to make excuses that they won't understand how I feel, or they will think I am attacking them, or it won't change anything if I tell them how I feel. Bottom line is they are excuses because we are too scared to confront the direct cause of the pain we are feeling. So, what does this all mean? I don't know. It just got me thinking, maybe it will challenge your thinking too.

Bye Bye Sarie...

Today was a somewhat sad day as I said good bye to an amazing friend, volunteer, and intern! Sarah...AKA Sarie or Sarietta was an amazing sidekick this summer. I don't know if I would have got through summer programming if it wasn't for her! Not only did she help by building amazing relationships with students and getting them plugged in...as well as helping to orgainze our summer events...she also had my back in so many ways! Without her I would not have been able to focus on some needed time out of the office to do summer school...which I must say is finally over as of today! PTL! Anywho, Sarah, if you're reading this you are an amazing woman and God truly used you to reach our youth this summer! Thank you for your support! And may you be blessed as you move onto Bakersfield to persue your crediential! I know the kids will be blessed to have you as a teacher! Bye bye my partner in crime!

Tragic

So, I admit, I am not very political. I vote and that is the extent of my political side but recently my dear friend j.Lo got me thinking about the war. It also didn't help that for the last eight or so weeks I have been taking a Modern Civ class which pretty much has a high level of content on war. I have come to realize that it is pretty selfish for leaders to risk the lives of hundreds, thousands, and sometimes millions of people for sake of a political agenda.

Where am I going with all of this? Well, for the last 24 hours I have been watching a fair deal of the news in regard to the bridge collapse in MN. At first I watched out of concern because I have a dear friend who is there currently and I couldn't initially get a hold of her to find out she was okay. But she did end up contacting me and informing me she was in fact heading for that bridge when she got a call from a friend and turned around. Praise God she hadn't left a little sooner for her travels to the store.

Anyways, another friend of mine posted a my space bullitin on the bridge. I found it very sad that there are 73,864 bridges in the US right now that are rated structually deficient just like this bridge. The US currently spends 2 billion dollars annually to repair these bridges, however 9 billion is needed yearly in order to keep up with the repairs of these bridges. So, other bridges could potentially give way any day while we are spending all of our additional resources fighting a war that should have ended ages ago. Can someone tell me how that makes sense? Now we are not only losing lives at war but also in bridge collapses because we are not allocating our resources properly.

Okay, I just wanted to vent. This political tyrant is done. Until next time...

Bye Bye Bertha

I am selling my faithful Explorer who has went by the name of Bertha. You can check out my posting at http://fresno.craigslist.org/car/387219745.html. If you or anyone you know are interested please let me know! Thanks!

Sometimes it just feels good to be goofy!

Bummed

So, I have a cross that was given to me as a gift...and a chain. Well, I took it off yesterday for a doctors appointment and I placed it in my pocket. Well, I just realized it wasn't around my neck and then I remembered that I placed it in my pocket...I went to the pocket and its not there. The shorts I was wearing had small pockets and my change always falls out of them, so my cross did too. I hope I can back track and find that its in my car or somewhere, if not I am going to be totally bummed if I can't find it. Sad times. =(

Camp and Back...

First off, I must thank all those who were praying while we were gone at camp. What an amazing week it was. I must be honest and say going into the week I was not excited. I was not feeling the best physcially (and still don't...in bed sick currently), I had a mountain sized list of things I could be doing instead of being at high school camp, and emotionally I just wasn't ready. Regardless of everything I was feeling God still used this week. Looking back I am very happy that I went.

Not only did I get to invest more in the lives of the 8 high schoolers I took from our ministry, I also got to invest in the lives of 6 other young men who were placed in my cabin. My eyes were truly opened to the rawness of the pain that these kids are experiencing. From pressure to be the best in everything they do, to drugs/sex/partying pressure, to having a lack of a solid father to be their role model, to the realness of being a Christian yet admitting they don't live it, to deaths within family, broken homes, parents with illnesses...the whole nine yards and then some. Going into the week I really didn't feel equipted spiritually where I was at to go and mentor these teens...but I again God showed me how He uses broken people to help other broken people. There is something about understanding what a kid is going through and validating how they feel...not just validating to validate but because you honestly, whole-heartingly understand what they are going through.

God really challenged me to look deep inside myself this week and see all the garbage that is filling up my life and to see how that garbage seperates me from Him and seperates me at times from being able to see His purpose in my life. There are times when I honestly just want to throw in the towel. Youth ministry is hard, and honestly I don't think I ever expected it to be this hard. In past weeks I have really been questioning if this is where I should be or not; in that God used this week to say, "Derek, you are fulfilling My porpose, its not about you, its about Me".

Off to camp...

I am off to camp! Time for an exciting 8 days in the Santa Cruz mountains living it up with a bunch of high schoolers! I know it is going to be an awesome time! I just hope my sore throat goes away A-SAP! Please be praying for the staff and students up at camp and that God truly reveals Himself in maraculous ways! Looking forward to bloggin about the week when I get back! Until then, have a blessed week!

No Colored Font?

So, I don't know what the deal is but the freakin blog no long has the buttons to changed my font or the color of my font or anything fun like that. What the heck man?

What goes on in the female mind?

Sometimes I really have to ask myself that. I swear girls may say guys are hard to understand but I would say girls are at least ten time harder to understand. Sometimes us guys just have to lay down the real legit straght-forward truth to get through all the female emotions.

Life Goals

So, I am not ashamed to admit I have began investing in thearpy. I say invest because I don't just go...I am wanting to see results and therefore it's an investment.

Something that was interesting to learn this week is how we don't necessarly chose our own life goals. When you typically think of goals you probably would think of concrete things you want to accomplish in a certain amount of time and you set them yourself. Well, there is this theory of "Lifestyle Analysis" where basically your life goals are set without you even conciously chosing them. During the ages of 0-18 we are in our "Family Atmosphere" and during that time we take in all of the values, beliefs, interests, preferences, and prejudices of our family. Those particular items/areas that we see in our parents and other individuals who have and influence on our lives during our young ages shape our life goals and who we develop into as an adult person.

It has been really interesting for me to see what some of my goals are and see how they were shaped by my family both positivly and negatively. Because of some of the issues I have as a result of my family it leaves me wanting to set goals that are completely oposite of my family...the common "I'm not going to grow up and be like my parents". As I looked deeply into some of my thinking and some of my faults I realize that I have a lot to work on from the root of how I was raised.

With all that said, I am looking forward to my new investment. =)

Funny Stuff

So, I saw this video on my space...it isn't the most appropriate video promoting your typical Christian values but it is pretty darn funny. I couldn't help but laugh.

Lies...Lies...Lies

I am happy to announce we have been fed lies for the past year or two about Magic Mountain closing. I called today to find out the truth behind this and was assured that the park will not be closing. I was also able to verify the information on their site in a press release on their news page. So, there will be many screams in years to come as we continue to visit the best roller coaster park in Cali!

What Matters Most

What Matters Most...When NO is better than YES

I started reading this really cool book that night that was given to me. It is by Doug Fields and he is a pretty awesome writer...as well as speaker. This is a really simple read and gets to the heart of the issue and I am really enjoying it!

"While saying no results in many personal benefits, it's a difficult word for most ministry-minded leaders to utter because their ministry culture values yes. They learn to say yes because they want to please others - they don't want to let people down, risk others thinking less of them, or become the target of disappointment or anger."

I read that and wanted to scream YES! That is often how I feel. There is so much that needs to be done and in ministry there is always more. There are tons of people that you need to satisfy or make happy...but I have began to realize that saying yes to everything kills me. It may help others but in the end it leaves me feeling overwhelmed and often empty. I am excited to keep reading this book and see how saying no is often a more healthy approach than saying yes. Sorry boss man but this is a book that all ministry minded people should read! =)

Very Proud

I must admit, sometimes my little sister can frustrate me but that will never ever change the fact that I love her beyond measure. She is such a beautiful, fun, intelligent, amazing girl. I can have so much fun doing almost nothing with her! And I am very proud of her right now...I mean I am always proud of her, however she got her drivers license and got a job all in one week! So, Cassy, I am sorry for saying you wouldn't accomplish those...I only did it to light a fire under you so you would. Hahaha! I love my sis!

PTL for Panera

I must make a public apology to Miss Rebecca Kruse for me making fun of how much she blogs about Panera. One our recent trip to the bay I was able to visit two different Panera locations for the first time in my life. I was able to enjoy the deliciousness and take in the ambiance of the amazingness known as Panera Bread Co. Becky tells me that there is word on the street that we will be getting one in Clovis. I am quite excited because there are a total of 60 locations in California but the closest one is 45 minutes from me in Visalia...needless to day I will making a lil drive down there tomorrow to do some studying...enjoy the free wi-fi...and eat some amazing food! Everyone should e-mail Panera and tell them to hurry with more locations in Fresno/Clovis!!!

Sad sad day...

I have been told for some months that my work was going to block certain websites at our office....sad to say My Space is one of them. I just went to get on and its now blocked. That also answers why my AIM would not sign in. No instant messaging and no my spacing from my office which totally stinks because it is such a tool in youth ministry to correspond with kids. I may protest working from now on...hahaha.

Change...happens for a reason

I understand that change happens for a reason. I also understand most good things come to an end. But I can't say either of those make me truly happy.

Yesterday I came to the hard reality that one of my students who truly is like a little brother to me will be moving back with his mom. Granted he is not moving to the other end of the earth...being an hour away is still going to change things. Obviously we won't get to hang out as much nor will he be at Campus Life. But regardless it won't change who much I care for this kid.

You often question what can someone younger than me teach me...it isn't possible to learn from a kid. I would totally disagree. This kid taught me to question what I believe so that I know I am standing on the truth, he encouraged me to reach beyond what is here and now and dream bigger about the future, I learned that age doesn't matter when it comes to learning from others, he allowed me to see that there is a reason for sharing in everyday life. For the first time I felt as if I truly made an impact on a young persons life...but in that he impacted mine. It hasn't been long and I really don't want him to leave because I don't feel like we are done with what we started but change happens, this is for the best. What I learned here I must not apply with others. The memories may fade but the impression will last strong. So, with the shedding of a few tears I wish my kid bro the best of luck and tell him that I know he is going to do many amazing things in his life. Thank you Andrew for entering into life with me...this truly is what its all about.

Meet My Friend The Dancing Diva...

So not this past weekend but the weekend before I went to Concord with my amazing friend Grace. She invited me to go and see Fall Out Boy along with four other smaller bands. I am not the biggest fan on that style of music but I went along to be a good friend and I knew I would have a great time regardless.

Well, one of the highlights of the night was my friend that dancing diva. As you can see in the picture to the right, she was sitting/standing directly in front of me. I don't know her name but she was around 40, no ring so I think she was divorced (her friend...no such a diva was around the same age and had a ring)...she was drunk...and you could totally tell she was trying to be young all over again. One conversation we had was about some 13 year old kids making out a few rows behind us, you could tell she was bitter because she kept talking about how sick young love was and how they have no idea how sucky love is...thus my theory on her being divorced. Another funny conversation was on the topic of how cold she was and how she wished she had a sweater. My friend Grace told her they were selling hoodies for $40 and she in outrage replied when the f*** am I going to wear a Fall Out Boy hoodie other than this concert. Needless to say within an hour she was wearing the hoodie. Ha!

The whole experience made me hope that I don't end up like her. She was bitter toward the world yet trying to be in her youth again. I hope when I am 40-something people aren't posting blogs about how stupid I am.

I Love This Girl!

There are only a few people in this world who truly know me and really get me. My BK...Rebecca Marie Kruse is one of those people. I had an amazing time the last 3 days on vacation with her. She truly made the trip a memorable one! I don't think there is a time the two of us are together that we don't laugh. (Even if it is at the expense of me getting poked in the face) I feel more comfortable with being me around BK than anyone else. So, Miss Huffer if you're reading this know that I am truly blessed to have you as a friend!!! Thank you for being one of my biggest fans and supporting me throughout life. You shall forever be one of my closest friends! 143!!!

Day of Challenge

After a nice three day vacation I had to come home and face the real world today. I was faced with many challenges in the last 14 hours that I have been awake. I even shed some tears today but hey that's okay every once in a while, doesn't make me any less of a man. I was challenged in some ways that I don't even know how to respond or what to do and am left feeling very clueless in what to do. Through it all I am trying to remember that I have the support of many amazing friends as well as a super amazing God who knows everything before, during, and after what I am going through. I believe that there is a shiny light at the end of this difficult, sometimes dark tunnel.

The Unknown

Often we are scared of the unknown. I know I sure am. For me the future is a huge question mark that is right before my eyes. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I am entering my mid-20's and I have no idea what I want to do or be. I am torn. Part of me so deeply loves working with youth and speaking into their lives, the other part of me misses the business world and wants to go back. I came across this quote and it really made me think. So often the hardest thing we can be is ourselves. We look at everything outside of us and around us but don't listen to the little voice inside our self, nor do we obey what we believe we truly want in order to be happy because we fear letting others down, or what they may think. Maybe one day I will wake up and just know exactly who I am and what I am supposed to do...until then I guess I need to try hard to listen to my inward voice and try to embrace the unknown since it isn't going to go away!

Too Freakin Hot!!!

It is seriously too freakin hot!!! Typically I sleep with my windows open and a fan on...but the AC remains off. Well, that all changed last night. I seriously could not sleep it was so hot! The pillows were hot, the sheet was hot, my skin was hot, the water next to my bed was disgusting because it was hot! Finally the AC had to come on. I am probably going to regret using it when the bill comes but really folks, comfortable sleep is important! The forecast says its going to be a beautiful 108 degrees today! I swear I will be moving outside of Fresno one day soon and it is going to be to a place that does not get this hot, that is for sure! With that said...try and stay cool. =(

Thugs

I have officially been scared the crap out of by thugs. The other night I was outside my car, parked on the street outside my house. Three thugsta's came running toward me and I almost crapped my pants because I swore I was about to be jumped. They got up by me and said "We're not going to steal your car white boy". They then laughed, smoked their cigarettes, and walked along with their baggy pants almost down to their ankles. Needless to say, never a dull moment in the hood!

And He Is A Christian...

I was at dinner...sitting in a booth...waiting for my friend to arrive. I was just on the other side of the bar where there was a table of 5 or 6 middle aged women. All are drinking and appeared to be unwinding after work. All of a sudden in a loud voice one of the women said "And He Is A Christian!". Made me laugh because you could totally tell they were talking about some guy and something he did and then throwing in the fact that the guy was a Christian. What a wrap Christians have...we have to be perfect to those who see us as part of the Jesus and Pals group.

All in the name of Jesus...

I must confess the past two days have been very challenging for me in the way I think. I began taking a modern civilizations course for summer school yesterday and its been pretty interesting. I really enjoy the professor and am learning a great deal already.

What I have been really challenged with is how people over time did things in the name of Jesus. We are studying the formation of Christianity...Luther, Calvin, and all those guys...and how the different denominations have come into existence. What gets me is how many wars there have been between people of faith, like drop down shoot-um-up wars because they believe in the same God, yet not every single thing they believe has lined up. Or how back in the day some religious leaders did things like make wives public property so different men could have sex with different women. This makes me think of how people have really made religion what they want it to be even from hundreds of years ago. It almost angers me because really Christianity has become whatever man wants it to be. Its been screwed up forever really. And we think to current times and how Christians judge other Christians by whether or not they are having their quiet times, or if they are hanging out with the wrong group of people, or if they wear a hat in church, or don't pray before a meal...you name it the list can go on and on! Why must we judge others like this? Aren't we called to love each other? Were they lovin each other back in the day when they were murdering each other???

Okay, I am really just venting...I do not mean to insult anyone that may be reading this...purely just my thoughts. Feel free to comment.

Week In Recap...

Highlights...
-Went out for the finale of Jen and Juice.
-42 Kids showed up to our CL Skate Night. I was worried we wouldn't have more than 20!
-I finished my Music summer school class. I think I got an A!
-Got to hang out with Jeff...I really enjoy when we get to catch up!
-Had a good counseling session.
-The BMW dealership offered me a rental for free so I didn't have to get stuck car-less.
-Had a great time hanging with students, Andrew & Kelly, and had dinner with their fam.
-Got to attend a wedding (Allie & Jesse), Grad Party (Dustin), Grad/Going Away Party (Katy), saw my fam (Fathers Day), & had a fun time at a birthday dinner (Brad).
-Set up time to go to Bay Area to see my grandma and to get my new truck. New to me that is.

Low Points...
-Lost my one and only key to Bertha the Explorer. Have to pay $150 to have locksmith re-key.
-Got a parking ticket for $25.
-Found out I am not getting summer financial aid. Cost of books almost $500 out of pocket.
-Didn't get to see BK cause she left for Vegas. (Next week fo sho though!)
-Have to miss a really kick-butt party tonight because I have to go to Napa for our annual Ride For Youth for work.
-Scheduled my wisdom teeth to be removed in August. Not looking forward to that!
-Wasted 2 hours trying to fix my broken e-mail!
-It was really, really, really hot and my AC in my new house does not work so well!

Well, off to Napa I go. I shall be back home in 53 hours from now. Until then...have a great weekend!!!

Good to Great...

My boss loaned me his copy of Good to Great by Jim Collins last week. He asked me to read a section on the "Flywheel Effect". I read the short little section and found that it to be very true. Basically the Flywheel Effect is building momentum which allows you to have recognition and support.

Where do you shop? Who do you support? Where are your dollars going? Where do you devote your time? If we look at ourselves we can clearly see that we give of time and money for things we believe in. For some it is more superficial...they have to wear the latest or coolest clothes or whatever. They are buying into an image and supporting it. But look a little deeper...do you maybe give to help a charity? Or do you volunteer your time somewhere? If so, it is probably for a reason. You probably have some emotional tie that holds you to investing in a mission or cause.

My boss wants to see the Flywheel Effect in YFC. Where we build momentum because of great results. Where the community sees the impact we are having and they want to join along side and help. But with the Flywheel comes time. It takes time to build momentum...it starts with one, then two, then fifty, and a hundred and so on. The more the word gets out the more momentum we gain. But in order to create an environment of people who believe in your work you must look at your flaws and correct the problems and mistakes that seem to hurt others or cause them to think poorly based on an experience. So, my question for our chapter of YFC is...what are we doing to build a good reputation and how are we learning from some of the mistakes of our past? Just thoughts in my mind to ponder.

Almost Got Arrested...

Would you like to go to jail tonight? A question I never thought I would ever hear being presented to me...especially with a group of Campus Life kids!

Last night was an interesting night to say the least. As I stood in front of the not-so-nice police officer as he read off a list of violations...Trespassing on school property, contributing to the delinquency of minors, violation of youth curfew, causing a public disturbance. All of this started with a fun game of sardines with Campus Life kids and their friends/family.

PTL for Goosey Goosey Gander...as we told the officer who we were with and he said Campus Life as in Goosey Goosey Gander. Yes, this fine fellow knew Campus Life from the Goose Chase Rallies of the 70's! Thank you for YFC and for the crazy activities of the past to get us off in current times!

How did this all happen you may ask? Well you see we met at the school to play a fun game of sardines...we then decided it wasn't as fun outside and we were going to move to an indoors location. But in the meantime we were waiting for a grandparent to come pick up one of the kids before we departed the school for our new destination. One of my amazing graduates...who is 17...decided I should let her drive my car since she graduated. I told her only in the parking let...well her and a freshmen fellow...names left our to protect the innocent, haha...took off to the street! NOT OK! Apparently they went through the neighborhood with the music bumpin and someone decided to call the cops! It was 10:05 when they police arrived at the school...lucky the escape children were back with my car. "Who is the adult here?" asked the popo...I stepped forward as he requested my ID and read off my charges. He then said "Who was driving the car". I did not want to rat out my kids so he said "Ok, I am taking you down to jail and impounding your car". Thank goodness the student stepped forward and admitted to her mistake. Well, lucky he told us to get off the property after finding out who we were with and instructed us to go into Fresno...because if the Clovis PD got another call on us he would be taking us all in!

Needless to say, last night will be a night that will never ever leave my memory. The night in which I was almost arrested for the sake of the children. I have learned my lesson...never give the keys of my car to a student...graduated or not, and never play on school property!!! PTL again for Goosey Goosey Gander!

Post Secrets

Saw this on post secrets after I posted my last blog...thought it was interesting how they relate to each other a bit. Thought I would put up to go with it...

Isaiah 1:14

From The Message:

Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them!
You’ve worn me out!
I’m sick of your religion, religion, religion,
while you go right on sinning.

I found this verse really cool. It made me stop and think...how often am I trying to plan another meeting, or event, or outreach with the youth? It typically is one meeting to the next or one event to the next. Maybe what we need to focus on is relationship. Spending time with people, sharing life, and through that may others (specifically our youth) see life change in us and begin to ask questions. And maybe we need to stop the politics and really just look at relationships. What do numbers really mean? Isn't it the heart that matters? Who are we to judge others and place rankings on how successful one group is over another? Religious this and religious that when really we need to stop and evaluate our own lives. We need to stop and take an inventory of what areas we are screwing up in...sinning...and look at how that can impact those who we have an influence on. How can I tell a kid to not do something if I am doing it? Good ole moral inventory. Anywho...just a lot of random thoughts from my head...until next time...

Reflection...

So today I was at church and I saw someone and it stirred something up inside me. I don't see this person often and typically I say hi and that's about it. Today I spoke briefly to him and a flood of emotions came rushing inside. You see when I first accepted Christ this person was an influential person in my life and one day they just decided they didn't want to talk to me or be there for me or frankly even be my friend. So, today when this person talked to me like none of this ever happened it made me feel a little hurt like I did some almost five years ago. You see when this happened some years ago I began to view Christians the same as Non-Christians. I left a pretty difficult past with tons of people hurting me and then I went into the church and began to be hurt by people who claimed to love Jesus.

It was interesting that after talking to this former friend the pastor referenced who we need to be focused on Jesus, not other Christians. That if we try to be like other Christians we are only going to be let down because Christian or Non-Christian we are all human and no one is perfect. Made me realize that regardless of who the person is in my life, I could very well be let down by them (just as I could let down others), thus I need to fix my eyes upon Jesus and Him alone. Hopefully now I can let go of that past situation and move on and love that person regardless of how hurt I felt at the time.

Seven Minute Syndrome

Today concluded my first week in my four week Music Appreciation course. It is pretty intense since we do a semesters work in a month, thus one day = one week. I took my first exam yesterday (day 3 of class), found out today I got a B. Was hoping for an A but hey a B is better than C, D, or F, right? Well, something I found interesting this week is a thing called the Seven Minute Syndrome. Basically over time with the use of the television we have lost our sense of focus. Studies have shown that we usually lose interest or become distracted in something within seven minutes. Thus you will notice that television commercials come on at about seven minute intervals. This allows up to focus on doing something and then coming back to refocus on the program we may be watching. You may ask how this relates to music? Well, most classical pieces are 10, 15, 20+ minutes long and that use to be great in the old days but now we can't focus that long to pay attention. Interesting how our lives have become so busy that seven minutes can become a max for our comprehension on one thing.

Yes...I am alive.

Its been a long time since I have posted a blog. Life has been crazy! In the past week I have moved homes, had a huge youth event, started summer school, house sat, attended two parties, a luncheon, and saw the doctor...amongst many other things. Hopefully life will begin to slow down and I can actually spend more time on the good ole blog. Until then may God bless you and try and stay cool in this hot weather!

Vanilla Ice Ice Baby!

So, today I was flipping through the radio stations in the car and what to my wondering ears should appear...you guessed it! Ice Ice Baby!!! It automatically made me stop and laugh and think of my amazing friend Becky Kruse! No one can Stop, Collaborate, and Listen...like my BK!

And on a true vanilla note. I love vanilla ice cream! I bought French Vanilla at the store and really wanted fresh blue berries to put in it but they were out so I settled for fresh raspberries. I was not so sure how much I was going to like them but it was BOMB DOT COM! Mixed with a little vanilla ice ice baby, what a wonderful treat. I think I will have some now! =)

Dreams...

So, I have noticed a major change in my sleeping patterns. I typically fall asleep very quickly and can sleep all the night through without waking up. This has not been the case over the last month. I continually wake up. I doesn't matter if I am home or sleeping somewhere else such as these past few days up at Hume. I wake up and think its morning and its only been an hour or two since I last work up and is the middle of the night. I don't know why my body is doing this but I don't like it.

Secondly, I used to never...okay hardly ever remember my dreams. I don't know if I didn't dream or if my thick head could just never remember them. Well, now I am remembering all my dreams. So are very odd like me losing hair on the left side of my body but not my right. Very odd. Others are about things that went through my head during that day. And I am experiencing nightmare-like dreams every time I sleep. It is so weird. I just woke up from a nap out of breath because the dream was so intense. I think I would rather go back to not dreaming or at least not remembering my dreams.

Over-Complicating God???

For the last five months I have been trying to finish the book "Searching For God Knows What" by Donald Miller. It has been a great read that challenges the way I think. I have about four more chapters and then I am done!!! Today I was reading and found this interesting...

"I think it is more safe and more beautiful and more true to believe that when a person dies he will go and be with God because, on earth, he had come to know Him, that he had a relational encounter with God not unlike meeting a friend or lover or having a father or taking a bride, and that in order to engage God he gave up everything, repented and changed his life, as this sort of extreme sacrifice is what is required if true love it to grow. We would expect nothing less in a marriage why should we accept anything less in becoming unified with Christ?" (Miller, p. 156)

Prior to this quote Miller is discussing how people believe that one person can be more Holy or more loved by God because they know their bible inside and out, or went to seminary, or followed all the rules. It made me think are why not over-complicating God? I mean we as humans are setting up all these do's and dont's when really who's place is to judge man other than God? This is why I am thankful that I don't belong to a denominational church. The more I see the way different denominations do things and claim that they do it right and other churches do it wrong makes me sick. Isn't there supposed to be unity among all believers? Should a non-Christian student of mine walk into a church and be yelled at by an old women who is mad because the kid is wearing a hat in God's building? Aren't all buildings God's building? Isn't He the creator of everything? Shouldn't we be thankful that this teen stepped inside the church not whether he is wearing a hat or not. Gosh! This stuff gets me worked up. Jesus sacrificed His life and here we are fighting over right and wrong...we are ALL sinners, why don't we accept that and try to show Jesus' love to those around us? I mean actions do speak louder than words right?

Just some thoughts...back to my book.

God's Creation

Can I ask how amazing is God's creation? I have been so blessed to be able to come up to Hume Lake and stay free of charge for a little retreat until Wednesday morning. It is amazing up here. I arrived and it was a beautiful 65 degrees which felt great since it was 94 when I left Fresno. I was able to spend time time walking by the lake then last night I went for a drive and went to the look out point where you can see all the city lights. It was amazing to look today and see all the light twinkling as if they were dancing about. I sat up there looking out and was in complete awe of how busy out lives are. Looking at the city made me realize that. It was so refreshing to stop, pause, and breathe and know that you actually can escape the fast paced world every once in a while. If you have the chance to get away I would highly recommend it. I think I will now go for a morning jog since I was able to sleep in. More bloggin to come...

Emo...

A year, maybe two years ago my roommate gave me this link to the Emo Song. I saved it in my favorites and every once in a while I click on it, listen, laugh, and then think wow what has this world come to? If you would like to experience the same, turn on your speakers, and click http://emosong.ytmnd.com/

Is Age Just A Number?

Is age really just a number? You see last night I was sitting in a meeting with some high schoolers as well as some of my elders from YFC. One of the elders made a comment that teens want to hang out with people a few years older than them because they are cool. She then referred to the staff as uncool, but said well Derek you are still a little cool but you are losing it slowly as your age increases! Sign #1 I am getting old.

Then I was sitting at my computer and realized wow my stomach is really getting large. I have always been able to eat whatever I want and have it not phase me, that is no longer the case. I am puttin on the pounds. My dad always said once you hit your 20's it will catch up to you. Sign #2 I'm getting old.

Last night I was taking a student home and we were talking about music and an old song came on the radio from when I was in Jr. High and it was way before his time. He didn't know the song. I then realized he was born in 1991 and when I was in Jr. High he was just starting Kindergarten! Sign #3 I'm getting old.

Then this morning I found not one, not two, but three grey hairs on my head. And I am sure if I keep looking I will find more! This is so depressing! Sign #4 I'm getting old.

But who really cares right? Age is just a number after all. =(

Meetings

Does anyone agree that meetings can exhaust you? I had three meetings yesterday and by 5pm I was beat. Wasn't like I worked too heck of hard but dealing with people and sitting in one chair for hours...it just wears a brotha out. PTL for no meetings today! =)