Grrr...where does the time go? I am sitting in class right now...yes, I said class! That means a whole month has almost past and I am stuck back here at school? Why must time disapear so quickly? I guess it can be a good thing because soon enough it will be October and I will have a small break before my FINAL quarter begins. Then it will be Christmas...and then January will roll around and it will be Graduation...PTL and Thank God! Well, I must focus on Ms. V...my legally blind instructor. Bye for now.
D~
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Ready Or Not...Here I Come...You Can't Hide
So, yet another week has past and I have failed to post and now people are asking when my next post would be so I thought I would put one up to entertain everyone! This will be some highlights, issues, events, thoughts, and questions from the last week or so...
-Toys are cool! I got a Blackberry Phone on Friday and a new Laptop today!
-God teaches us even when we are not wanting to be taught. It is amazing how God places people in our lives to teach us things even when we are not wanting to learn.
-The future is a scary thing because it is unknow. Why must people ask what are your plans for the future when there is no real answer until you get there!
-Men have PMS! Yesterday I felt as if I was pissed at the world! And for no reason. Every little thing bugged me and I wanted to go off on every person I came in contact with!
-Fresno is hot!
-Rental cars are fun but you start to miss your own car. Welcome back Hondie...all fixed.
-Vacations are never long enough! My new school quarter starts next week! Yuck!
-There will always be one special person out there who can relate to you and understand you even when you tell yourself no one would ever understand.
-There will always be a special place in my heart for the high school students at Campus Life. It was amazing to be around them again and fun to play laser tag for the first time.
-Lisa wants me to audition for the apprentice. Donald here I come? Auditions in San Diego in less than two weeks!
-Work is a never ending cycle. There will always be more to do tomorrow than there was today and there will never be enough hours in the day to do everything!
-The O.C. needs to come back on...I am starting to go through withdrawls from the worlds best TV show of all time!. On a side not I am really starting to like the real O.C. on my past few ventures there...the wealther is amazing...I want to move!
-Hard conversations will never be easy and sometimes it is more painful to hold in your feelings then to let them out and fear hurting someone else.
-Universal Studio's is fun but the rides are no Disney Land.
-Has the well been cloned? I swear Rock Harbor in the O.C. is like the well's twin church!
-Is it best to forget the past? The past is non-correctable...we can't take it back. Should we leave past friends in the past or should we try and be friends in the present and risk the pain and hurt of past experiences?
-Sometimes stupid things come out of people's mouths for no reason...including mine
-At the old age of 21 I feel like I am 40 and I can't even keep up with my 15 year old sister!
-A Sees Candy Milk Chocolate and Almond candy bar is da bomb! Makes me think of Jr. High and how I would eat them every day...but they priced them up to $1.50...use to be $1. Well, I helped a little girl go to church camp so it was worth it!
-Your body needs food...which I give my body...but good food has not been anywhere to be found. I am a bad man to my body! Shame on me!
-Your not getting any younger!
-Is pain worth the gain? My braces will gain me better teeth but they are hurting like a mo fo!
-It makes me sad to see the pain and hurt that someone I know is going through and to see that it will probably only get worse. You will never find would you are looking for in a lifestyle of using and abusing...it is only in Jesus that you will meet your emotional needs.
-You don't always get what you want. Not everyone cares. It is not my way or the high way.
-A friend returns home...reminds me how fast time flies!
-Sarcasim the the root of all evil. (LOL...Hi Jen!)
-How much sleep is enough sleep? How much is too much?
-Smile...it will make you feel better.
Okay, so I could go on and on and I need to close already! Good night!
D MONEY
-Toys are cool! I got a Blackberry Phone on Friday and a new Laptop today!
-God teaches us even when we are not wanting to be taught. It is amazing how God places people in our lives to teach us things even when we are not wanting to learn.
-The future is a scary thing because it is unknow. Why must people ask what are your plans for the future when there is no real answer until you get there!
-Men have PMS! Yesterday I felt as if I was pissed at the world! And for no reason. Every little thing bugged me and I wanted to go off on every person I came in contact with!
-Fresno is hot!
-Rental cars are fun but you start to miss your own car. Welcome back Hondie...all fixed.
-Vacations are never long enough! My new school quarter starts next week! Yuck!
-There will always be one special person out there who can relate to you and understand you even when you tell yourself no one would ever understand.
-There will always be a special place in my heart for the high school students at Campus Life. It was amazing to be around them again and fun to play laser tag for the first time.
-Lisa wants me to audition for the apprentice. Donald here I come? Auditions in San Diego in less than two weeks!
-Work is a never ending cycle. There will always be more to do tomorrow than there was today and there will never be enough hours in the day to do everything!
-The O.C. needs to come back on...I am starting to go through withdrawls from the worlds best TV show of all time!. On a side not I am really starting to like the real O.C. on my past few ventures there...the wealther is amazing...I want to move!
-Hard conversations will never be easy and sometimes it is more painful to hold in your feelings then to let them out and fear hurting someone else.
-Universal Studio's is fun but the rides are no Disney Land.
-Has the well been cloned? I swear Rock Harbor in the O.C. is like the well's twin church!
-Is it best to forget the past? The past is non-correctable...we can't take it back. Should we leave past friends in the past or should we try and be friends in the present and risk the pain and hurt of past experiences?
-Sometimes stupid things come out of people's mouths for no reason...including mine
-At the old age of 21 I feel like I am 40 and I can't even keep up with my 15 year old sister!
-A Sees Candy Milk Chocolate and Almond candy bar is da bomb! Makes me think of Jr. High and how I would eat them every day...but they priced them up to $1.50...use to be $1. Well, I helped a little girl go to church camp so it was worth it!
-Your body needs food...which I give my body...but good food has not been anywhere to be found. I am a bad man to my body! Shame on me!
-Your not getting any younger!
-Is pain worth the gain? My braces will gain me better teeth but they are hurting like a mo fo!
-It makes me sad to see the pain and hurt that someone I know is going through and to see that it will probably only get worse. You will never find would you are looking for in a lifestyle of using and abusing...it is only in Jesus that you will meet your emotional needs.
-You don't always get what you want. Not everyone cares. It is not my way or the high way.
-A friend returns home...reminds me how fast time flies!
-Sarcasim the the root of all evil. (LOL...Hi Jen!)
-How much sleep is enough sleep? How much is too much?
-Smile...it will make you feel better.
Okay, so I could go on and on and I need to close already! Good night!
D MONEY
Monday, July 11, 2005
The Life We Live...7/11/05
The Life We Live
If life was simple there would be no problems,
If there were no problems we would not have feelings,
We would not be able to place emotion on situations,
We would never feel hurt, pain, fear, or rejection.
If there were no hard times we would be living in a black and white world,
There would be no drugs, no poverty, no murder, no struggles,
We would live in a society where everything seemed perfect,
We would not have to deal with situations that make us sad.
If life was black and white, simple, and problem-free,
We would not be who we are today,
We would not learn from our mistakes,
We would not grow with maturity,
We would be emotionless robots walking the earth with no hope.
I am realizing more and more that life is hard. There will probably never be a day where I do not feel like there is something wrong with life, or something that I could improve on. There will never be a day where I can say that I was compassionate, loving, caring, kind, patient, helpful, nurturing, and encouraging to every person I came in contact with. I live a life of sinful nature; there will never be a time where I will mature to the level of being perfect. There is no one, other than God, who is perfect in all ways. I could sit here and think of how I have been hurt by others, but for every action of hurt I have felt, I have likewise caused hurt to others. I can put harsh blame on myself for others and tell myself that I have not been a good enough friend or a good enough person to help them with what they are going through; but I must realize that I am only one person, I can’t be everything to everyone…I can’t even work on my own problems and issues so how can I begin to help others. The blind leading the blind will never succeed, there must be a point where we realize that we are each unique and where I am weak there is someone who is strong. Asking for help is not a bad thing, we all struggle, we all stumble. Life is such an interesting thing…(if you can call life a thing), we will never fully understand life. We will never know how to completely handle life, handle situations we are faced with. All we can do is try to live a life where we have good morals and strive to do the right thing, even if it is hard to do. Life is hard but we can’t give up…there is something so much bigger than us here on this earth that we should be living for.
If life was simple there would be no problems,
If there were no problems we would not have feelings,
We would not be able to place emotion on situations,
We would never feel hurt, pain, fear, or rejection.
If there were no hard times we would be living in a black and white world,
There would be no drugs, no poverty, no murder, no struggles,
We would live in a society where everything seemed perfect,
We would not have to deal with situations that make us sad.
If life was black and white, simple, and problem-free,
We would not be who we are today,
We would not learn from our mistakes,
We would not grow with maturity,
We would be emotionless robots walking the earth with no hope.
I am realizing more and more that life is hard. There will probably never be a day where I do not feel like there is something wrong with life, or something that I could improve on. There will never be a day where I can say that I was compassionate, loving, caring, kind, patient, helpful, nurturing, and encouraging to every person I came in contact with. I live a life of sinful nature; there will never be a time where I will mature to the level of being perfect. There is no one, other than God, who is perfect in all ways. I could sit here and think of how I have been hurt by others, but for every action of hurt I have felt, I have likewise caused hurt to others. I can put harsh blame on myself for others and tell myself that I have not been a good enough friend or a good enough person to help them with what they are going through; but I must realize that I am only one person, I can’t be everything to everyone…I can’t even work on my own problems and issues so how can I begin to help others. The blind leading the blind will never succeed, there must be a point where we realize that we are each unique and where I am weak there is someone who is strong. Asking for help is not a bad thing, we all struggle, we all stumble. Life is such an interesting thing…(if you can call life a thing), we will never fully understand life. We will never know how to completely handle life, handle situations we are faced with. All we can do is try to live a life where we have good morals and strive to do the right thing, even if it is hard to do. Life is hard but we can’t give up…there is something so much bigger than us here on this earth that we should be living for.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
The Topic of Trust
What is trust? Be definition it is a firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing. Something committed into the care of another; charge. So, the question I have is why do we trust? Why do we place a “firm reliance” on other people?
Most of the time when we trust in others we get hurt; thus bringing me to the topic of why we allow ourselves to trust others. We give someone our all, we trust them, and we get used, abused, and tossed aside. Or maybe we trust someone with our feelings or emotions and reveal something that is personal and this person we place our trust in betrays us by not being respectful of our feelings and broadcasting them to others. We put trust into people but in the end they only look out for themselves and then we feel like we have been stabbed in the back.
Based personal experience with trust there are two types of people; one is the giver and one is the taker. The giver trusts the taker and therefore they give all they are and they hope that the taker will become a giver one day and provide back to them. But what happens is the taker just takes and takes and never gives and eventually the giver can’t give any more. They have hit rock bottom and feel completely empty because they can’t give any more. The giver either has anger built up inside because they feel used by the taker or they feel the other extreme where they feel like a failure because they can’t give any more and they feel like they have let the taker down because they can’t go on any more.
If we know deep down that if we trust in other humans we get hurt or let down then why do we continue to trust? Is trust an emotion that is tied to each of us and therefore we can’t just not trust? People probably have levels of trust; someone like myself probably trusts people way too much and therefore I feel hurt and pain time and time again where others my not allow themselves to trust anyone because they know inside they don’t want to get hurt so they look out for themselves by limiting trust.
I always told myself that it takes trust to gain trust. If I trust others then they will trust me and no one will get hurt. But the more I think about that I feel like it is a lie. If I trust others and I think they trust me, then I get hurt by trusting them because they betray me, then I feel even worse because I feel like I allowed myself to get hurt by not guarding my heart, my emotions, and my feelings.
I guess people are people. I hate to say that often we can’t trust others because it is our human nature that makes us no where near perfect and therefore we are going to let other people down. I often wonder why I trust humans more than I trust God. He is really the only one who has complete control over my life and I should be willing to trust Him more than anyone else because He is not going to purposely hurt me; but yet somewhere inside I feel like I can’t even trust Him.
Today’s conclusion trust = hurt.
Most of the time when we trust in others we get hurt; thus bringing me to the topic of why we allow ourselves to trust others. We give someone our all, we trust them, and we get used, abused, and tossed aside. Or maybe we trust someone with our feelings or emotions and reveal something that is personal and this person we place our trust in betrays us by not being respectful of our feelings and broadcasting them to others. We put trust into people but in the end they only look out for themselves and then we feel like we have been stabbed in the back.
Based personal experience with trust there are two types of people; one is the giver and one is the taker. The giver trusts the taker and therefore they give all they are and they hope that the taker will become a giver one day and provide back to them. But what happens is the taker just takes and takes and never gives and eventually the giver can’t give any more. They have hit rock bottom and feel completely empty because they can’t give any more. The giver either has anger built up inside because they feel used by the taker or they feel the other extreme where they feel like a failure because they can’t give any more and they feel like they have let the taker down because they can’t go on any more.
If we know deep down that if we trust in other humans we get hurt or let down then why do we continue to trust? Is trust an emotion that is tied to each of us and therefore we can’t just not trust? People probably have levels of trust; someone like myself probably trusts people way too much and therefore I feel hurt and pain time and time again where others my not allow themselves to trust anyone because they know inside they don’t want to get hurt so they look out for themselves by limiting trust.
I always told myself that it takes trust to gain trust. If I trust others then they will trust me and no one will get hurt. But the more I think about that I feel like it is a lie. If I trust others and I think they trust me, then I get hurt by trusting them because they betray me, then I feel even worse because I feel like I allowed myself to get hurt by not guarding my heart, my emotions, and my feelings.
I guess people are people. I hate to say that often we can’t trust others because it is our human nature that makes us no where near perfect and therefore we are going to let other people down. I often wonder why I trust humans more than I trust God. He is really the only one who has complete control over my life and I should be willing to trust Him more than anyone else because He is not going to purposely hurt me; but yet somewhere inside I feel like I can’t even trust Him.
Today’s conclusion trust = hurt.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Home, Home On The Range...
So, I have been horrible at keeping my Blog updated. But I am home, home on the range! I had finals this past week and I am finally done with school for the quarter! I have a month off from school!!! I promise to post more often. Lifa has been hectic and stressful but I am still movin right along. Finals, the new job, drama with selling the condo, and an at-fault fender bender, and finding out shockig news about some people all toped my list of events this week! It was a long day and I am tired...so until tomorrow...good night!
~DA~
~DA~
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