"Girls Always Win Honey"

Yesterday I was sitting in the lobby of a dentists office and was attempting to read a book, however was distracted by a three year old girl and her grandfather. The girl was playing with some of the toys that were on the floor and wanted grandpa to pay attention to her but he kept dozing off. "Grandpa wake up, play with me!" Finally she decided to take the tic-tac-toe to him. Of course she didn't really know how to play and instead of grandpa attempting to teach her he just let her do what she wanted so she yelled "I win!" and grandpa responded with "Girls always win honey". Then he told her to go play with legos in the corner so he could sleep. He told her to go build the twin towers before they bombed them.

I was semi-amused with his response that girls always win but was also very discouraged that he was seriously bothered by her wanting to play and he was just trying to push her away. I was also wondering why in the world would you tell a three year old to build the twin towers, what was he trying to feed into her little head. I realized that children are so impressionable. They look up to adults and ultimately make decisions based upon what they are told growing up. So, this grandpa maybe thought he was saying harmless words but to an outsider I witnessed him conveying to this little girl the following:
1. Girls always win. No matter what happens in life you will always get your way and you will always be right. This could lead this little girl to a lot of bad relationships and hurt feelings when she realizes the world is not going to say she wins at everything.
2. Your not important. Grandpa just wanted to be left alone to sleep. The little girl was not important enough for grandpa to take the time and play for a little while.
3. I don't even know what to respond to in regard to the Twin Towers and his reference to bombing.

Anywho, maybe I was being nosey by listening to how these two were relating but I find in interesting to see what we are filling our young peoples minds with. If you can say things to a three year old, no wonder some of the kids I see in high school are dealing with so many issues!

Walk A Little Straigher Daddy...

For some many months I have been able to relate to the song Walk A Little Straighter by Billy Currington. Growing up in home where my number one enemy was my dad's bottle of booze was nothing less than hellish. Last week I did a wrap up at one of my clubs on alcohol. I asked my students to be completely silent and I began to read a list of words "Hurt, Anger, Abuse, Alone, Hate, Wish For Divorce, Sleepless Nights, Yelling, Fighting..." I then went onto explain how those words were all things that I felt or went through while dealing with an alcoholic father. I continued to share the effects alcohol has not only on the person who uses but on those who are around the person. I tried my hardest to hold back the tears and the pictures of my childhood flashed before my eyes. After the wrap up one of my students came up to me and said "I am living your life, my dad is just like your dad". WOW! I was not expecting this.

Today I had the opportunity to sit down with my student for almost two hours and talk to him about the hurt he is feeling and about how alcohol is tearing his family apart. It was crazy how many similarities there were in our stories, our experiences, or families. I knew the trends were common in alcoholic homes but I never realized that I am not alone in what goes on. As I sat sharing, I expressed to him that we can't blame ourselves for this. It is not our faults, we did not ask for this. And we both wanted to deeply to just hear our parents say "I am sorry". But there is a chance that won't happen, we must learn to forgive our parents for the hurt and anger without ever hearing them say they are sorry. We must learn to be at peace with our lives and rest in the arms of the one Father who will always love us and who will never hurt us, our Lord and Savior.

More and more as I review my life and things I have been through as I relate them to the students I work with, the more and more I want to write a book. I am praying that one day I will have the time, energy, and resources to be able to write a book that can hopefully help hurting teenagers in this world.

Good night and God bless.
DA

What is up with those paper towels?

Is it just me or are those motion censored paper towel dispensers a pain in the rear end? I was out of town over a week ago and it seemed that everywhere I went they had the motion censored ones! Here is my frustration with them, first they don't always read you waiving your hands like a mad man under them. Second, they give you enough paper towel to maybe dry two of your fingers. Third in order to get another paper towel it has to reset itself and take forever to recognize you are waiving again! What the heck, my hands will dry quicker just because of the time and energy put into trying to obtain the paper towel! Maybe this is all in their plan, they don't want to have to spend more money on paper towels...cheap skates!

Ticking...

What makes you stressed? Does the ticking of the time passing you by stress you out when you feel like there is so much to be done? It does for me! Why can't there be more hours in the day? I guess that there would never be enough then! I really feel my answer to reducing stress is to be better organized and planning how to balance tasks, relationships, etc. Recently I have really sucked at this. I feel like I have bit off more than I can chew. I am trying to hold down three positions, a girlfriend, church, school, relationship with God, and life! The main problem is the three jobs. I am balancing my position at YFC, while being trained in a second position at YFC, and trying to wrap up my work at the mortgage company. Today I was so overwhelmed I laid down on my futon in my office and took a 45 minute nap! Oh how I love naps! Well, that is it...many probably wonder why I have not been online it's because I have a lot going on. Please pray that God will keep me afloat during this hectic time! Many blessings to you and you finish your week!

Hmmm...

So I haven't posted this week while I have been away for training in Bakersfield. I have been learning a lot which has been awesome. However the internet in the hotel kinda stinks and is up and down all the time so I haven't been able be online much which is fine because I have been able to do other things like reading and going to the gym. One thing I know for sure if that I am going to come home this week weighing 5-10 pounds more than I arrived with! We have been eating out for all of our meals and have had tons of unhealthy snacks in the classroom and of course I give into the temptation.

One thing that we talked about was our view of prayer. So often we lay out our laundry lists of requests to God in our prayers. Help me with this, change this, fix that, make it all better...you know those prayers. God already knows our struggles and our needs and He is going to take care of them. Why don't we change our prayers to asking God to show us how He wants us to be used? It's a hard concept but it is so awesome to think about. In the situations we face every day how can God use us? What is He teaching us through our day to day rutines? I am so guilty of only living for God part of my day but we are called to live for Him every minute of every day! Also, I know I am guilty of asking God in prayer to be present, to be with me. Hello, earth to Derek...God is present in every move I make and every breathe I take. I don't need to ask Him to be there, He already is! So, my hope is that I would be able to think of what my actions could amount to before I do them and really think what would Jesus do in this situation; and then to realize that prayer isn't all about me, it is about how God can use me.

Just my thoughts...Have an amazing day!

Oh Happy New Year!

I realize I am a few days late at posting Happy New Year! But it is only day three of 2007 so I think I am still safe.

I spent my time ringing in the new year with a bunch of students! Oh the joys of youth ministry. Actually I ended up having a really good time. Initially I wanted to spend my new years elsewhere but in the end I had a great time hanging out with some amazing high schoolers and youth workers!

So like most everyone the new year gives a chance for a clean slate. A time in which we can look back at the past year, do some evaluation, and set goals for the new year. 2006 was a crazy year for me. I made a huge change in my career from the business world to full time youth ministry, I had surgery, I moved, I began a relationship with an awesome girl...lots happened! It was a time of great transition and still is to a certain degree. I am left with the question of what do I want to do differently in 2007 and i really don't know. I mean I have ideas about things I would like to accomplish or see change but I haven't put anything pen to paper. I have never been a huge new years resolution person so I don't know. I just know that right now there is so much going on in my life that it sometimes seems hard to make changes even for the better.

Guess this is something I will have to continue to ponder. Until next time....

D Train

Bling Bling, Show Me The Diamond Ring!!!

So I posted last week about all the couples that I knew that were getting engaged. Just so happened in one week I have heard of two more engagements! One being my friend who proposed on new years eve...how precious! The other is a girl I briefly dated in high school that is two years younger than I. All I know is weddings are in the air. Bling bling in fall and marry in spring, guess that is how it works. Leaves me to question at age 23 am I even close to being ready to get married? Seems like the thing to do these days, the latest trend...I think I will stay out of style!