Sometimes it just feels good to be goofy!

Bummed

So, I have a cross that was given to me as a gift...and a chain. Well, I took it off yesterday for a doctors appointment and I placed it in my pocket. Well, I just realized it wasn't around my neck and then I remembered that I placed it in my pocket...I went to the pocket and its not there. The shorts I was wearing had small pockets and my change always falls out of them, so my cross did too. I hope I can back track and find that its in my car or somewhere, if not I am going to be totally bummed if I can't find it. Sad times. =(

Camp and Back...

First off, I must thank all those who were praying while we were gone at camp. What an amazing week it was. I must be honest and say going into the week I was not excited. I was not feeling the best physcially (and still don't...in bed sick currently), I had a mountain sized list of things I could be doing instead of being at high school camp, and emotionally I just wasn't ready. Regardless of everything I was feeling God still used this week. Looking back I am very happy that I went.

Not only did I get to invest more in the lives of the 8 high schoolers I took from our ministry, I also got to invest in the lives of 6 other young men who were placed in my cabin. My eyes were truly opened to the rawness of the pain that these kids are experiencing. From pressure to be the best in everything they do, to drugs/sex/partying pressure, to having a lack of a solid father to be their role model, to the realness of being a Christian yet admitting they don't live it, to deaths within family, broken homes, parents with illnesses...the whole nine yards and then some. Going into the week I really didn't feel equipted spiritually where I was at to go and mentor these teens...but I again God showed me how He uses broken people to help other broken people. There is something about understanding what a kid is going through and validating how they feel...not just validating to validate but because you honestly, whole-heartingly understand what they are going through.

God really challenged me to look deep inside myself this week and see all the garbage that is filling up my life and to see how that garbage seperates me from Him and seperates me at times from being able to see His purpose in my life. There are times when I honestly just want to throw in the towel. Youth ministry is hard, and honestly I don't think I ever expected it to be this hard. In past weeks I have really been questioning if this is where I should be or not; in that God used this week to say, "Derek, you are fulfilling My porpose, its not about you, its about Me".

Off to camp...

I am off to camp! Time for an exciting 8 days in the Santa Cruz mountains living it up with a bunch of high schoolers! I know it is going to be an awesome time! I just hope my sore throat goes away A-SAP! Please be praying for the staff and students up at camp and that God truly reveals Himself in maraculous ways! Looking forward to bloggin about the week when I get back! Until then, have a blessed week!

No Colored Font?

So, I don't know what the deal is but the freakin blog no long has the buttons to changed my font or the color of my font or anything fun like that. What the heck man?

What goes on in the female mind?

Sometimes I really have to ask myself that. I swear girls may say guys are hard to understand but I would say girls are at least ten time harder to understand. Sometimes us guys just have to lay down the real legit straght-forward truth to get through all the female emotions.

Life Goals

So, I am not ashamed to admit I have began investing in thearpy. I say invest because I don't just go...I am wanting to see results and therefore it's an investment.

Something that was interesting to learn this week is how we don't necessarly chose our own life goals. When you typically think of goals you probably would think of concrete things you want to accomplish in a certain amount of time and you set them yourself. Well, there is this theory of "Lifestyle Analysis" where basically your life goals are set without you even conciously chosing them. During the ages of 0-18 we are in our "Family Atmosphere" and during that time we take in all of the values, beliefs, interests, preferences, and prejudices of our family. Those particular items/areas that we see in our parents and other individuals who have and influence on our lives during our young ages shape our life goals and who we develop into as an adult person.

It has been really interesting for me to see what some of my goals are and see how they were shaped by my family both positivly and negatively. Because of some of the issues I have as a result of my family it leaves me wanting to set goals that are completely oposite of my family...the common "I'm not going to grow up and be like my parents". As I looked deeply into some of my thinking and some of my faults I realize that I have a lot to work on from the root of how I was raised.

With all that said, I am looking forward to my new investment. =)

Funny Stuff

So, I saw this video on my space...it isn't the most appropriate video promoting your typical Christian values but it is pretty darn funny. I couldn't help but laugh.

Lies...Lies...Lies

I am happy to announce we have been fed lies for the past year or two about Magic Mountain closing. I called today to find out the truth behind this and was assured that the park will not be closing. I was also able to verify the information on their site in a press release on their news page. So, there will be many screams in years to come as we continue to visit the best roller coaster park in Cali!

What Matters Most

What Matters Most...When NO is better than YES

I started reading this really cool book that night that was given to me. It is by Doug Fields and he is a pretty awesome writer...as well as speaker. This is a really simple read and gets to the heart of the issue and I am really enjoying it!

"While saying no results in many personal benefits, it's a difficult word for most ministry-minded leaders to utter because their ministry culture values yes. They learn to say yes because they want to please others - they don't want to let people down, risk others thinking less of them, or become the target of disappointment or anger."

I read that and wanted to scream YES! That is often how I feel. There is so much that needs to be done and in ministry there is always more. There are tons of people that you need to satisfy or make happy...but I have began to realize that saying yes to everything kills me. It may help others but in the end it leaves me feeling overwhelmed and often empty. I am excited to keep reading this book and see how saying no is often a more healthy approach than saying yes. Sorry boss man but this is a book that all ministry minded people should read! =)

Very Proud

I must admit, sometimes my little sister can frustrate me but that will never ever change the fact that I love her beyond measure. She is such a beautiful, fun, intelligent, amazing girl. I can have so much fun doing almost nothing with her! And I am very proud of her right now...I mean I am always proud of her, however she got her drivers license and got a job all in one week! So, Cassy, I am sorry for saying you wouldn't accomplish those...I only did it to light a fire under you so you would. Hahaha! I love my sis!

PTL for Panera

I must make a public apology to Miss Rebecca Kruse for me making fun of how much she blogs about Panera. One our recent trip to the bay I was able to visit two different Panera locations for the first time in my life. I was able to enjoy the deliciousness and take in the ambiance of the amazingness known as Panera Bread Co. Becky tells me that there is word on the street that we will be getting one in Clovis. I am quite excited because there are a total of 60 locations in California but the closest one is 45 minutes from me in Visalia...needless to day I will making a lil drive down there tomorrow to do some studying...enjoy the free wi-fi...and eat some amazing food! Everyone should e-mail Panera and tell them to hurry with more locations in Fresno/Clovis!!!

Sad sad day...

I have been told for some months that my work was going to block certain websites at our office....sad to say My Space is one of them. I just went to get on and its now blocked. That also answers why my AIM would not sign in. No instant messaging and no my spacing from my office which totally stinks because it is such a tool in youth ministry to correspond with kids. I may protest working from now on...hahaha.

Change...happens for a reason

I understand that change happens for a reason. I also understand most good things come to an end. But I can't say either of those make me truly happy.

Yesterday I came to the hard reality that one of my students who truly is like a little brother to me will be moving back with his mom. Granted he is not moving to the other end of the earth...being an hour away is still going to change things. Obviously we won't get to hang out as much nor will he be at Campus Life. But regardless it won't change who much I care for this kid.

You often question what can someone younger than me teach me...it isn't possible to learn from a kid. I would totally disagree. This kid taught me to question what I believe so that I know I am standing on the truth, he encouraged me to reach beyond what is here and now and dream bigger about the future, I learned that age doesn't matter when it comes to learning from others, he allowed me to see that there is a reason for sharing in everyday life. For the first time I felt as if I truly made an impact on a young persons life...but in that he impacted mine. It hasn't been long and I really don't want him to leave because I don't feel like we are done with what we started but change happens, this is for the best. What I learned here I must not apply with others. The memories may fade but the impression will last strong. So, with the shedding of a few tears I wish my kid bro the best of luck and tell him that I know he is going to do many amazing things in his life. Thank you Andrew for entering into life with me...this truly is what its all about.

Meet My Friend The Dancing Diva...

So not this past weekend but the weekend before I went to Concord with my amazing friend Grace. She invited me to go and see Fall Out Boy along with four other smaller bands. I am not the biggest fan on that style of music but I went along to be a good friend and I knew I would have a great time regardless.

Well, one of the highlights of the night was my friend that dancing diva. As you can see in the picture to the right, she was sitting/standing directly in front of me. I don't know her name but she was around 40, no ring so I think she was divorced (her friend...no such a diva was around the same age and had a ring)...she was drunk...and you could totally tell she was trying to be young all over again. One conversation we had was about some 13 year old kids making out a few rows behind us, you could tell she was bitter because she kept talking about how sick young love was and how they have no idea how sucky love is...thus my theory on her being divorced. Another funny conversation was on the topic of how cold she was and how she wished she had a sweater. My friend Grace told her they were selling hoodies for $40 and she in outrage replied when the f*** am I going to wear a Fall Out Boy hoodie other than this concert. Needless to say within an hour she was wearing the hoodie. Ha!

The whole experience made me hope that I don't end up like her. She was bitter toward the world yet trying to be in her youth again. I hope when I am 40-something people aren't posting blogs about how stupid I am.

I Love This Girl!

There are only a few people in this world who truly know me and really get me. My BK...Rebecca Marie Kruse is one of those people. I had an amazing time the last 3 days on vacation with her. She truly made the trip a memorable one! I don't think there is a time the two of us are together that we don't laugh. (Even if it is at the expense of me getting poked in the face) I feel more comfortable with being me around BK than anyone else. So, Miss Huffer if you're reading this know that I am truly blessed to have you as a friend!!! Thank you for being one of my biggest fans and supporting me throughout life. You shall forever be one of my closest friends! 143!!!

Day of Challenge

After a nice three day vacation I had to come home and face the real world today. I was faced with many challenges in the last 14 hours that I have been awake. I even shed some tears today but hey that's okay every once in a while, doesn't make me any less of a man. I was challenged in some ways that I don't even know how to respond or what to do and am left feeling very clueless in what to do. Through it all I am trying to remember that I have the support of many amazing friends as well as a super amazing God who knows everything before, during, and after what I am going through. I believe that there is a shiny light at the end of this difficult, sometimes dark tunnel.

The Unknown

Often we are scared of the unknown. I know I sure am. For me the future is a huge question mark that is right before my eyes. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I am entering my mid-20's and I have no idea what I want to do or be. I am torn. Part of me so deeply loves working with youth and speaking into their lives, the other part of me misses the business world and wants to go back. I came across this quote and it really made me think. So often the hardest thing we can be is ourselves. We look at everything outside of us and around us but don't listen to the little voice inside our self, nor do we obey what we believe we truly want in order to be happy because we fear letting others down, or what they may think. Maybe one day I will wake up and just know exactly who I am and what I am supposed to do...until then I guess I need to try hard to listen to my inward voice and try to embrace the unknown since it isn't going to go away!

Too Freakin Hot!!!

It is seriously too freakin hot!!! Typically I sleep with my windows open and a fan on...but the AC remains off. Well, that all changed last night. I seriously could not sleep it was so hot! The pillows were hot, the sheet was hot, my skin was hot, the water next to my bed was disgusting because it was hot! Finally the AC had to come on. I am probably going to regret using it when the bill comes but really folks, comfortable sleep is important! The forecast says its going to be a beautiful 108 degrees today! I swear I will be moving outside of Fresno one day soon and it is going to be to a place that does not get this hot, that is for sure! With that said...try and stay cool. =(