A Day in the Life of Derek Abbott

Hello Friends... (Becky Kruse you will get that one!...sorry inside joke)

Well, it is 12:40pm and I am at work. Typically people at work...actually are working, however I am taking a little break to post. Not sure what I am going to post about but I thought it would occupy my time.

So, do you ever wonder why people do the things they do? I mean when you look at life as a whole everyone makes decisions. Some they regret others they don't. It is just interesting because the decisions we make effects who we are and the life that we lead. I guess I have been looking back upon life and decisions that I have made of the days, weeks, months, and years...some very positive and others very negative; but nonetheless they have shapped me into who I am today and who I will be (or possibly don't want to be) in the future. Yesterday's quote of the day "There is no improvement except through change. To improve continually we must change continually".

I must say last night was filled with many thoughts based on activities that occured. There was some power outages in Fresno due to too many people not "Flexing Their Power" and the first hot day everyone has the AC like it is the thing to do. So...5:40pm...just 20 minutes before I had class (which would have lasted until 10:40pm) I found out that my college was effected by the outage and there was no classes...I was so happy!!!! It was great! So, I determined that I needed to back some of Jen's things up that were at my house, for those of you who do or don't know, Jen is a very special person. She was my girlfriend of a year and a half and we broke up last week...anyway, so I was packing some stuff up and I felt very sad because it hit me that my life has completly changed based upon one decision that I made last week and life as a whole looks different to me. Anyway, so I was online and I received an instant message from my best friend of many years, Matt. We were friends from 3rd grade until we graduated. It seems like after graduation we drifted apart, we talked from time to time and eventually we both lead different lives and then we just no longer talked. Well, he messaged me out of the blue...he is on my buddy list and often I think about sending an IM but for some reason I never do. Is it becuase I think we have drifted too far apart or is it that I am sad because the person who gave me wet willies and was going to be my best friend forever is no longer my best friend. Well, regardless he messaged me and it released yet another flood of emotions because he basically said he was looking for me and came across my testimony that was posted online, which I posted like a year ago. And he said that he learned things about me that he never knew. That for so many years he thought he was my best friend but I was leading a life that he did not even no about. It hurt me because it was true. A best friend should know everything and I was so hurt and ashamed with my life as a child and teen that I sure as heck did not want anyone to know about it. So, Matt if you are reading this, I am sorry if you felt like I was not real or honest with you. I hope you understand how hard it was for me and how I did not tell anyone until the past few years.


Well, it is time to close this post and get back to work. I just wanted to express my feelings and my night last night. Anyone have thoughts?...feel free to post back. Until next time, love...peace...and chicken grease (from the words of Jason Phillips in high school).

D...