Good Bye Grandpa...

When I got the call that Grandpa Don had passed away I was first shocked and somewhat in denial. The quickly changed to guilt. Guilt because I had told Grandpa I would come visit him ever since his last time in the hospital over a year ago and I never did. Guilt because Grandpa’s birthday was just some weeks before and I failed to call him. Now I would never get to tell him I loved him again or that I was sorry for not coming to visit or calling often enough.

On the drive to the bay area I began to think of how I would never see him again. That one day if I got married he wouldn’t be there or if and when I had a child they would not know their Great-Grandpa Don. I began to think of how I could remember him rather than thinking of all the future lost memories.

I will always have the pictures from when I was a little boy and Grandpa would come and visit. Like the one of me sitting behind the big steering wheel of Grandpa’s RV. Or me pushing my bubble lawn mower with my 49ers jersey on. Or riding my tricycle holding that 49er doll Grandpa got me. The doll that I still have, and I am almost certain if Grandpa heard me calling it a doll he would tell me it wasn’t. Boys don’t play with dolls, sorry Grandpa it was a doll. I will never forget the times when I would call Grandpa on the phone and tell him the grades I got on my report card. I was a pretty good student for the most part but Grandpa always pushed me for excellence. If I got a B he was asking why it wasn’t an A. I needed to get those good grades so I could go to Stanford and live near by him and Margie. I am a little sad that plan never happened. Or how Grandpa was always question how I was doing with the ladies. In more recent years memories would include times when I would come and visit for Dorette’s surprise party and Grandpa thought it was non-sense that they got her a male stripper. Or when Jen and I were leaving and going into San Francisco, Grandpa and Margie debated which route was the best way for us to get there.

Grandpa Don, I may have not been able to tell you one last time that I love you and I may have not been able to say good bye, but forever you will be in my heart.