I will no longer be blogging on this site. My new site is live!!! Change your bookmark to www.derekabbott.com. Thanks for continuing to read!
Derek
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Heated
Is it okay to be heated every now and then? I just ran into someone who clearly remembers me from an interview. Come to find out that this very reputable organization didn't even contact me to tell me that they had selected another candidate. No phone, no e-mail, not even a canned letter in the mail. Instead I was pushed off for months while they carefully selected the right candidate and I was one of the top-runners. I am very happy in my new position at YFC and happy that I ended up taking on a new role, however it doesn't change the fact that I am a bit frustrated with the common courtesy that people can't even extend when you put your life on hold for them. I will be over it momentarily but I wanted to vent for a moment.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Coming Soon...
www.derekabbott.com
Yes! I registered my own domain and I now know how to make a website with my dot mac account! I will put up a post when it is live and my new blog will be featured there as well! I am excited to know how to do some technological stuff! PTL for mac's!
Yes! I registered my own domain and I now know how to make a website with my dot mac account! I will put up a post when it is live and my new blog will be featured there as well! I am excited to know how to do some technological stuff! PTL for mac's!
Time...
Two Things...
1. It's already Sunday afternoon and I have so much to do and I really feel like I haven't had a weekend. It doesn't help to lose an hour with the time change. I am not a fan of the time change currently.
2. I worked 60 hours this past week. I was on vacation from school and filled it with more work. I am not happy with the decision. I understand it is my own fault.
Time is not on my side right now.
1. It's already Sunday afternoon and I have so much to do and I really feel like I haven't had a weekend. It doesn't help to lose an hour with the time change. I am not a fan of the time change currently.
2. I worked 60 hours this past week. I was on vacation from school and filled it with more work. I am not happy with the decision. I understand it is my own fault.
Time is not on my side right now.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Flashback 10 years
So, I had a major flashback today. I stepped on campus at Ahwahnee Middle School. My new position with YFC is directing the middle school division and so I got to go visit the Ahwahnee club before school this morning. It was totally crazy to be back on the middle school that I attended from 1996-1998. Much of the campus is the same and looks just like it was ten years ago when I left. The club was even in the classroom where I had my 7th and 8th grade english classes, good ole E4. I even ran into Mrs. Smith my old 8th grade english teacher. She looked at me and her jaw dropped when she saw me, she gave me a huge hug. What a sweet woman, somethings never change. The student population has heavily changed with many of the neighborhood kids now going to Clovis Unified School District and the majority of the Ahwahnee campus is now bused in from other areas. One thing that will never change is the fact that there will always be a warm spot in my heart for Ahwahnee Middle School. Jr. high sucks at times but I had some great teachers and made some amazing life long friends there.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Time really is a mystery
So, I find it very weird that my clocks change themselves. I have the time on my cable box and also on my alarm clock next to my bed. They are maybe six feet apart max. Well, somehow I keep noticing that my alarm clock falls behind my cable box. Right now the cable box says 11:15 and the alarm clock 11:12. I just matched them up about a week ago because they were five minutes off and in a weeks time either my cable box gained three minutes or my alarm clock lost three. I don't quite know if someone is playing a sick trick and sneaking into my house and changing them or if somehow seconds really slipping away, I guess it will remain a mystery.
Interesting Marketing...
United Church of Canada launched this three year, $9.3 million advertising campaign. I would say this is cutting edge marketing to get people to think about spiritual things. Interesting...
Things I've Been Learning
Thanks to my good friend Bec, I have been encouraged to write things i've been learning on my blog after she did so on hers.
1. Life isn't fair, yet God remains faithful.
2. Therapy is necessary for all people at some point in there life. Mine just happens to be now.
3. Frozen yogurt can really bring joy to your belly and your spirits.
4. Tattoos are permanent, however they aren't bad. I am really debating getting one.
5. Fear is a part of life, accepting it is easy learning how to overcome it is the hard part.
6. Of course my family is dysfunctional. I need to accept the obvious and then work to not believe the lie that dysfunction is my destiny.
7. The Biggest Loser is quite an encouragement. If they can lose 80+ pounds I surely can lose 15.
8. Sometimes you just gotta sing. It's food for the soul.
9. Sunday and Thursday of this week will mark some of the hardest moments of my life as I say good bye to people that are truly closer to me than family. I must remember, change is good.
10. Watching sports brings adrenaline. It's fun and exciting. If only the Bulldog's won. I think I am making up for being deprived from sports growing up.
11. Being sick can be a way for God and your body to tell you to slow down, chill out, and relax for a bit.
12. Marriage is a scary, scary thing. It may seem like fun but I am definitely not ready.
13. Everyone needs friends who will stick by you regardless of the crap you go through. I am blessed with a few amazing ones who I couldn't get through life without. (You know who you are...thank you)
14. Being a disciple takes discipline.
15. People in ministry often have to solve other peoples problems, its no wonder their own problems go unresolved.
Just some thoughts I am processing. Here's to a great new week!
1. Life isn't fair, yet God remains faithful.
2. Therapy is necessary for all people at some point in there life. Mine just happens to be now.
3. Frozen yogurt can really bring joy to your belly and your spirits.
4. Tattoos are permanent, however they aren't bad. I am really debating getting one.
5. Fear is a part of life, accepting it is easy learning how to overcome it is the hard part.
6. Of course my family is dysfunctional. I need to accept the obvious and then work to not believe the lie that dysfunction is my destiny.
7. The Biggest Loser is quite an encouragement. If they can lose 80+ pounds I surely can lose 15.
8. Sometimes you just gotta sing. It's food for the soul.
9. Sunday and Thursday of this week will mark some of the hardest moments of my life as I say good bye to people that are truly closer to me than family. I must remember, change is good.
10. Watching sports brings adrenaline. It's fun and exciting. If only the Bulldog's won. I think I am making up for being deprived from sports growing up.
11. Being sick can be a way for God and your body to tell you to slow down, chill out, and relax for a bit.
12. Marriage is a scary, scary thing. It may seem like fun but I am definitely not ready.
13. Everyone needs friends who will stick by you regardless of the crap you go through. I am blessed with a few amazing ones who I couldn't get through life without. (You know who you are...thank you)
14. Being a disciple takes discipline.
15. People in ministry often have to solve other peoples problems, its no wonder their own problems go unresolved.
Just some thoughts I am processing. Here's to a great new week!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Where is the silver lining?
Silver Lining: a sign of hope in an unfortunate or gloomy situation; a bright prospect.
Do you ever ask yourself, where is the silver lining in a situation? I find myself doing that more so now than ever. My family is a mess. A complete and total mess. Let's face it, my family has been a mess for sometime but I guess I have decided to block it out and pretend like it wasn't there. I can't pretend anymore and it is taking an emotional toll. I often wonder what it would be like if I was birthed into a different family, one that got along, one with less problems and dysfunctions. But then I realized wondering will do no good because it won't change the cards that I have been dealt.
Today marks one year since my grandpa passed away. (Mom's dad) It was 365 days ago that I woke up to a phone call from my mom that he was gone. I drove to the bay area and sat there with my grandma as she was in pure shock. (I call her my grandma even though she was my grandpa's significant other for over 30 years and never married). One year later my uncle, who I have met a total of a few times in my life, is suing my mom over assets. Is that the beauty of family? My grandpa's boys didn't bother to even call him for years and years and once he's gone they want everything under the sun. Is that how family is meant to be?
My aunt (dad's sister) is sick and the doctors don't know what to do. She's in her early 50's and could by dying. Her brain is swelling and she doesn't even comprehend most of the world around her any more. I can't imagine what this will do to my family is she passes away before her own parents. Is this fair? She has four kids and a husband and parents who love her. Life isn't fair, I am continually reminded.
My dad continues to live his life addicted to pain medications, laid up in bed at home. He hasn't worked in over twenty years and swears to be sick all the time. Most of the time I think the sickness is in his head and he just wants everyone to think he is a physical mess. In all reality its all phycological and a lack of knowing what to do with life. What's even worse is that he has the nerve to try and dictate everyone's lives. Not mine, I don't give him that power. But my sister and my mom, that is a different story. Why did I get the short end of the stick when it comes to families? Why can't my dad be the a leader, a role model, an inspiration? I guess it is just the way the cookie crumbles.
My sister who is 18 years old is having to go through the pain that I experienced some six years ago. She is an adult, getting ready to graduate high school and yet my father wants to still control every aspect of her life. I was lucky enough to move out of his home a week after high school graduation and not turn back. I was stubborn and wasn't not going to back down, I was going to be my own man. I have made some bad choices along the way but I don't regret leaving. It is sad to think of the pain it caused my mom, but I don't blame her. She has tried to be the best mom she could be. Mom, I love you, you did your best. My sister wants to go to FPU for college...in the same city some 10-15 miles from my parents home, but my dad will having nothing of the idea. It's not in a good location, it cost too much money, and heaven forbid my sister want to move out and live on campus. He wants to keep her under his thumb and make decisions for her...a scary thought when we can't even make a decision for himself and needs my mom to do everything for him. Take a stand, be willing to follow your dreams, those are my words to my sister. She is bright, beautiful, amazingly gifted. She can be anything she wants, if she boldly takes a stand. It is my prayer that she will follow her dreams and let nothing stand in her way, including our father.
The future is unknown but is it any mystery why the fact of getting married scares the crap out of me? I refuse to be in a marriage that is filled with pain, abuse and hatred. I refuse to bring up children in a world in which I was brought up in. Is it wrong that I would rather not bring other people into the dysfunction that I have known for 24 years, 3 three months, and 4 days? Change needs to occur. I don't know what that looks like but I refused to continue on in this hell known as family. I deserve more and I will stand for change. No looking back, only looking forward to the future. It may seem like there is no silver lining right now, but I am holding onto hope that it is out there, I just have yet to find it.
Do you ever ask yourself, where is the silver lining in a situation? I find myself doing that more so now than ever. My family is a mess. A complete and total mess. Let's face it, my family has been a mess for sometime but I guess I have decided to block it out and pretend like it wasn't there. I can't pretend anymore and it is taking an emotional toll. I often wonder what it would be like if I was birthed into a different family, one that got along, one with less problems and dysfunctions. But then I realized wondering will do no good because it won't change the cards that I have been dealt.
Today marks one year since my grandpa passed away. (Mom's dad) It was 365 days ago that I woke up to a phone call from my mom that he was gone. I drove to the bay area and sat there with my grandma as she was in pure shock. (I call her my grandma even though she was my grandpa's significant other for over 30 years and never married). One year later my uncle, who I have met a total of a few times in my life, is suing my mom over assets. Is that the beauty of family? My grandpa's boys didn't bother to even call him for years and years and once he's gone they want everything under the sun. Is that how family is meant to be?
My aunt (dad's sister) is sick and the doctors don't know what to do. She's in her early 50's and could by dying. Her brain is swelling and she doesn't even comprehend most of the world around her any more. I can't imagine what this will do to my family is she passes away before her own parents. Is this fair? She has four kids and a husband and parents who love her. Life isn't fair, I am continually reminded.
My dad continues to live his life addicted to pain medications, laid up in bed at home. He hasn't worked in over twenty years and swears to be sick all the time. Most of the time I think the sickness is in his head and he just wants everyone to think he is a physical mess. In all reality its all phycological and a lack of knowing what to do with life. What's even worse is that he has the nerve to try and dictate everyone's lives. Not mine, I don't give him that power. But my sister and my mom, that is a different story. Why did I get the short end of the stick when it comes to families? Why can't my dad be the a leader, a role model, an inspiration? I guess it is just the way the cookie crumbles.
My sister who is 18 years old is having to go through the pain that I experienced some six years ago. She is an adult, getting ready to graduate high school and yet my father wants to still control every aspect of her life. I was lucky enough to move out of his home a week after high school graduation and not turn back. I was stubborn and wasn't not going to back down, I was going to be my own man. I have made some bad choices along the way but I don't regret leaving. It is sad to think of the pain it caused my mom, but I don't blame her. She has tried to be the best mom she could be. Mom, I love you, you did your best. My sister wants to go to FPU for college...in the same city some 10-15 miles from my parents home, but my dad will having nothing of the idea. It's not in a good location, it cost too much money, and heaven forbid my sister want to move out and live on campus. He wants to keep her under his thumb and make decisions for her...a scary thought when we can't even make a decision for himself and needs my mom to do everything for him. Take a stand, be willing to follow your dreams, those are my words to my sister. She is bright, beautiful, amazingly gifted. She can be anything she wants, if she boldly takes a stand. It is my prayer that she will follow her dreams and let nothing stand in her way, including our father.
The future is unknown but is it any mystery why the fact of getting married scares the crap out of me? I refuse to be in a marriage that is filled with pain, abuse and hatred. I refuse to bring up children in a world in which I was brought up in. Is it wrong that I would rather not bring other people into the dysfunction that I have known for 24 years, 3 three months, and 4 days? Change needs to occur. I don't know what that looks like but I refused to continue on in this hell known as family. I deserve more and I will stand for change. No looking back, only looking forward to the future. It may seem like there is no silver lining right now, but I am holding onto hope that it is out there, I just have yet to find it.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Here I Come San Diego!!!
I am ready for an awesome week in San Diego. Heres to a great conference, awesome meetings, amazing connections with people, beautiful weather, and even some relaxation!!!! I am pretty freakin happy to get out of Fresno for a week! I will see ya all when I return! Have a great week!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
And so its complete...
Just under three months and I finished all four seasons of One Tree Hill on DVD. I am kind of sad to have finished the final episode of season four this morning. I really enjoyed how relaxing it is to seriously just watch a tv show. I felt like I became friends with the characters. I know call me lame, I know I am! Haha. Now I need to start watching season five online to catch up with where there are on tv. This is my life. LOL
Saturday, February 09, 2008
I wanna love you out loud...
So, my blog has pretty much been neglected for a while. Life has been very crazy lately but I am a surviver!!! Here's the readers digest version of my life the past few weeks...
Work...
-Taking on the role of Middle School Ministry Director has been quite exciting. I am looking forward to launching some new clubs in the coming months!
-Its been hard to tell my high schoolers that I am transitioning into middle school. I love my kids so much!
-Jeff's family has finally moved to Fresno! I am so happy to have them here!
-I leave for San Diego in just over a week. Going to the YFC Mid Winter Conference. Should be a great time to get away and connect with friends from across the country!
-Had an awesome meeting with Pastor Brad and a team from The Well.
-Did a presentation at FPU's College Hour in front of hundreds of my peers. That was a little nerve racking.
-Had a good retreat with jr high and high school volunteers at the coast. Good connections were had.
Friends...
-Got to see an awesome FSU BBall game last week with Megan. We kicked butt.
-Had a fun time with Jen last night. How I missed our randomness.
-Going through BK withdrawals...no quality time in ages.
-Also lacking in the BFF time with Brad.
-Went to the "Experiencing Africa" tour tonight with Lisa which was put on by World Vision. My heart goes out to the children who are having to raise themselves due to the number of deaths caused by Aids.
-Tomorrow I get to meet Sarah at Panera in Visalia, I can't wait! We have not gotten to hang in months!
-Josh and Michelle gave birth to their first lil one...Chloe Ann.
-Had a good chat with my hommie g thug unit, Kurt. I have missed that guy!
-I got to see Chris after well over a year!!!
Other Randomness...
-A rock flew up and hit my truck windshield and cracked it all the way across. I need to get a new windshield...but I need to get $200 first.
-My MacBook is pretty amazing and I am loving it, however it was not so easy to transfer everything from my pc. Some of my data ended up corrupting in transfer which caused some problems resulting in a lot of time with the Apple Store.
-I have been lacking a little bit where school is concerned because I have been so busy with so many other things. I need to pull it together this week!
-My taxes are done and its only February!!! How exciting is that, since I usually wait until April. I am even more excited to get a total refund!!!!! Yes!
-Neck-n-Neck race between Obama and Clinton. Lets go Big O!!!
That's life in a nutshell. Unfortunately this week is going to be nuts before I leave for a week at the conference. Lots to get done but God is good and He provides enough time to get everything done thats of importance. Have a GREAT night and an even more GREAT new week!!! Mad love!!! D$ Out!
Work...
-Taking on the role of Middle School Ministry Director has been quite exciting. I am looking forward to launching some new clubs in the coming months!
-Its been hard to tell my high schoolers that I am transitioning into middle school. I love my kids so much!
-Jeff's family has finally moved to Fresno! I am so happy to have them here!
-I leave for San Diego in just over a week. Going to the YFC Mid Winter Conference. Should be a great time to get away and connect with friends from across the country!
-Had an awesome meeting with Pastor Brad and a team from The Well.
-Did a presentation at FPU's College Hour in front of hundreds of my peers. That was a little nerve racking.
-Had a good retreat with jr high and high school volunteers at the coast. Good connections were had.
Friends...
-Got to see an awesome FSU BBall game last week with Megan. We kicked butt.
-Had a fun time with Jen last night. How I missed our randomness.
-Going through BK withdrawals...no quality time in ages.
-Also lacking in the BFF time with Brad.
-Went to the "Experiencing Africa" tour tonight with Lisa which was put on by World Vision. My heart goes out to the children who are having to raise themselves due to the number of deaths caused by Aids.
-Tomorrow I get to meet Sarah at Panera in Visalia, I can't wait! We have not gotten to hang in months!
-Josh and Michelle gave birth to their first lil one...Chloe Ann.
-Had a good chat with my hommie g thug unit, Kurt. I have missed that guy!
-I got to see Chris after well over a year!!!
Other Randomness...
-A rock flew up and hit my truck windshield and cracked it all the way across. I need to get a new windshield...but I need to get $200 first.
-My MacBook is pretty amazing and I am loving it, however it was not so easy to transfer everything from my pc. Some of my data ended up corrupting in transfer which caused some problems resulting in a lot of time with the Apple Store.
-I have been lacking a little bit where school is concerned because I have been so busy with so many other things. I need to pull it together this week!
-My taxes are done and its only February!!! How exciting is that, since I usually wait until April. I am even more excited to get a total refund!!!!! Yes!
-Neck-n-Neck race between Obama and Clinton. Lets go Big O!!!
That's life in a nutshell. Unfortunately this week is going to be nuts before I leave for a week at the conference. Lots to get done but God is good and He provides enough time to get everything done thats of importance. Have a GREAT night and an even more GREAT new week!!! Mad love!!! D$ Out!
Monday, February 04, 2008
Crazy two weeks...
These past two weeks have been non-stop crazy as I have tried to discern exactly what the next steps for my life will be. I was faced at an interesting cross roads. I was offered a position with two amazing people who I respect so much back in the business world. At the same time I was also offered a promotion to stay at YFC. I was at an interesting point where I needed to weigh out the pros and cons on both sides. Initially I accepted the position in the business world and gave notice at YFC. But I quickly realized that I didn't prayerfully consider all aspects of this decision.
After seeking counsel from many people I care dearly for as well as taking a weekend away by myself, I realized that staying at YFC was where God wanted me. An awesome opportunity was made available to me at YFC and I needed to at least try it out. I will be transitioning into a role in which I will be directing our jr high ministry. After much thought, jr. high really is when my life began to change for the worse and really led me through some troubling years following jr. high. I always considered myself a high school ministry guy but really I think I will have a unique opportunity to work with middle schoolers. I will also be able to direct and grow an area of YFC that is in need of some restructure to be able to grow forward. I am excited for this upcoming shift in my roles and responsibilities. I know going into this that it won't always be easy, however I know that God has placed me here at the place for a specific reason.
This comes at a time where I have to begin saying good bye's to my high schoolers. It is not as if I am moving away and leaving them but more so just transitioning into a new role. I will still be around and will always be available to them. My high schoolers have taught me so much over the fast five years. They have been a tremendous blessing and have touched my heart more that I can ever express in words. It was difficult to tell one of my group of leadership kids my news yesterday. I know that they were hurt, upset, and angry. They have seen a lot of leaders come and go and feel like I am just another addition to that list. One of my students kept repeating "You're leaving me!". It felt like a knife to my heart. My goal has never been to hurt the kids who I love so much.
The coming weeks and months will be an interesting transition. I have lots to learn, however I am very grateful for all the opportunity. These past two weeks have really required me to look deep inside my soul and really wrestle through some issues and come to important decisions. Ultimately, I know God has plan in each and every one of our lives, including mine, and He will continue to lead through this transition. Thank you to everyone who stuck by my through the waves of life and supported me in this decision. I love you all.
After seeking counsel from many people I care dearly for as well as taking a weekend away by myself, I realized that staying at YFC was where God wanted me. An awesome opportunity was made available to me at YFC and I needed to at least try it out. I will be transitioning into a role in which I will be directing our jr high ministry. After much thought, jr. high really is when my life began to change for the worse and really led me through some troubling years following jr. high. I always considered myself a high school ministry guy but really I think I will have a unique opportunity to work with middle schoolers. I will also be able to direct and grow an area of YFC that is in need of some restructure to be able to grow forward. I am excited for this upcoming shift in my roles and responsibilities. I know going into this that it won't always be easy, however I know that God has placed me here at the place for a specific reason.
This comes at a time where I have to begin saying good bye's to my high schoolers. It is not as if I am moving away and leaving them but more so just transitioning into a new role. I will still be around and will always be available to them. My high schoolers have taught me so much over the fast five years. They have been a tremendous blessing and have touched my heart more that I can ever express in words. It was difficult to tell one of my group of leadership kids my news yesterday. I know that they were hurt, upset, and angry. They have seen a lot of leaders come and go and feel like I am just another addition to that list. One of my students kept repeating "You're leaving me!". It felt like a knife to my heart. My goal has never been to hurt the kids who I love so much.
The coming weeks and months will be an interesting transition. I have lots to learn, however I am very grateful for all the opportunity. These past two weeks have really required me to look deep inside my soul and really wrestle through some issues and come to important decisions. Ultimately, I know God has plan in each and every one of our lives, including mine, and He will continue to lead through this transition. Thank you to everyone who stuck by my through the waves of life and supported me in this decision. I love you all.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
A new day has come...
I was faced with a very difficult decision this past week, however after much thought, prayer, consideration, and insight from people I value...I have made a decision that is going to shape my life in a new way. After almost two years on staff with YFC, I have decided to venture from the staff realm and into a new position with a firm owned by two people that I totally respect and value. The coming weeks and months are going to provide many challenges but are going to shape me in new and exciting ways! I am excited for what the future holds. (If you are reading this and I haven't personally talked to you about it yet...please know I will and you can e-mail, IM, text, or call me if you want more info. This will change what my role looks like with Campus Life, however I believe it will be a smooth transition) I am grateful for all of my friends, family, co-workers, and students who have been such a huge support in my life! I love you all! And this does not change my relationship with you...friendship can last a lifetime. Here's to a new year and a new direction!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
"A million and one ways to experience God"
Call me a forward-thinker or a post-modern or whatever you would like but I strongly agree with a statement one of my professors made today, "There are a million and one ways to experience God". I was very lucky to have my Spiritual Formation class on the same day that I had coffee with one of my very good friends, Pastor Dave Wainscott. Times with Dave and times in my Spiritual Formation course really make me think.
I hate to say that many churches today focus on two things: 1) Numbers and 2) Legalism. I have to stop and ask did Jesus minister to those who he came in contact with or did he set a goal and say we need "x" number of people to come today. Of those "x" number we need "y" amount of decisions to become followers and we need "z" committed believers to give such-in-such dollars today to further the ministry. I often have to ask if numbers really measure results. Shouldn't we be more concerned with how people are doing, what is going on in their lives, and how we can grow in experiencing God? Instead we need to know attendance, decisions, and dollars so we can launch the newest programs and strike up a building campaign to get the latest and greatest facility.
If it isn't a focus on numbers, it's a focus of the law and what is right and wrong. I believe that there is a difference in wrong and right and that in fact we should do things that are right. However, who judges what is wrong and right? I mean ultimately God, yes, however the church has really come down to be rule enforcers...you have your Do's and your Don'ts. No offense but I believe that there are some things that might not be right for you but they may be right for me. One area that was touched on in my Spiritual Formation class today was the freedom to experience God in different ways. As Christian's we are often guilted and shamed if we are not the Super-Christian. As if there is a wrong and a right way to experience God.
The Super-Christian reads the bible for an hour every day and spends time in prayer at least three times a day and attends church at least twice a week and has to always be in a bible study and meeting with their accountability group once a week and you better at least be serving in two ministries and lets not forget the Jesus fish on you car, can't go without that. Okay, I realize I am being extreme and not painting the best picture but I mean who says in order to be a follower of Jesus you have to do all these "things". How often do we do "things" and end up having a surface relationship with Jesus because really we are only doing them out of obligation because we are told if we want to be a "Good Christian" we should be doing these "things". None of the things I listed are bad, but Christianity today often focuses on doing more, more, and more. Last time I checked, Jesus wants us to be real with him.
I personally experienced a lot of guilt when it was highly recommended to me to do a bible ready plan and to make sure I had my time in the scriptures, both Old and New Testament every day. When I missed a day or two I began to feel like a bad Christian. I began to avoid the person who was pressuring me to do this plan because I felt like I was letting them down. My professor said today, why do something out of duty and obligation when you get no joy out of it. God wants us to experience joy and if we don't find that in one way of experiencing Him, then we should find it in ways that actually do bring us joy. Maybe its only for a season in your life that you need to do something different. We are all wired differently and we all connect to God differently. For some that may be waking up early and doing devotions every morning, for others it might be taking a walk in the park and witnessing God's creation. We really must stop evaluating people based upon their quiet times or what latest devotion they are reading and really look at the heart of connecting with and experiencing Christ. God made us unique for a reason.
This blog may not have flowed extremely well because I was just getting out random thoughts that I experienced today. Some may not agree with me and that is completely fine, I was just sharing my feelings. On a side note...I was encouraged to look up an article that was in the paper a few weeks ago regarding the top pastors in town to watch...I am not so sure how I feel about it. No offense but there is a common theme throughout the churches named...numbers, money, facilities, etc. It could be deadly if we aren't examining if the genuine well being of people aren't at the center. Feel free to read it. http://www.fresnobee.com/221/story/300801.html
I hate to say that many churches today focus on two things: 1) Numbers and 2) Legalism. I have to stop and ask did Jesus minister to those who he came in contact with or did he set a goal and say we need "x" number of people to come today. Of those "x" number we need "y" amount of decisions to become followers and we need "z" committed believers to give such-in-such dollars today to further the ministry. I often have to ask if numbers really measure results. Shouldn't we be more concerned with how people are doing, what is going on in their lives, and how we can grow in experiencing God? Instead we need to know attendance, decisions, and dollars so we can launch the newest programs and strike up a building campaign to get the latest and greatest facility.
If it isn't a focus on numbers, it's a focus of the law and what is right and wrong. I believe that there is a difference in wrong and right and that in fact we should do things that are right. However, who judges what is wrong and right? I mean ultimately God, yes, however the church has really come down to be rule enforcers...you have your Do's and your Don'ts. No offense but I believe that there are some things that might not be right for you but they may be right for me. One area that was touched on in my Spiritual Formation class today was the freedom to experience God in different ways. As Christian's we are often guilted and shamed if we are not the Super-Christian. As if there is a wrong and a right way to experience God.
The Super-Christian reads the bible for an hour every day and spends time in prayer at least three times a day and attends church at least twice a week and has to always be in a bible study and meeting with their accountability group once a week and you better at least be serving in two ministries and lets not forget the Jesus fish on you car, can't go without that. Okay, I realize I am being extreme and not painting the best picture but I mean who says in order to be a follower of Jesus you have to do all these "things". How often do we do "things" and end up having a surface relationship with Jesus because really we are only doing them out of obligation because we are told if we want to be a "Good Christian" we should be doing these "things". None of the things I listed are bad, but Christianity today often focuses on doing more, more, and more. Last time I checked, Jesus wants us to be real with him.
I personally experienced a lot of guilt when it was highly recommended to me to do a bible ready plan and to make sure I had my time in the scriptures, both Old and New Testament every day. When I missed a day or two I began to feel like a bad Christian. I began to avoid the person who was pressuring me to do this plan because I felt like I was letting them down. My professor said today, why do something out of duty and obligation when you get no joy out of it. God wants us to experience joy and if we don't find that in one way of experiencing Him, then we should find it in ways that actually do bring us joy. Maybe its only for a season in your life that you need to do something different. We are all wired differently and we all connect to God differently. For some that may be waking up early and doing devotions every morning, for others it might be taking a walk in the park and witnessing God's creation. We really must stop evaluating people based upon their quiet times or what latest devotion they are reading and really look at the heart of connecting with and experiencing Christ. God made us unique for a reason.
This blog may not have flowed extremely well because I was just getting out random thoughts that I experienced today. Some may not agree with me and that is completely fine, I was just sharing my feelings. On a side note...I was encouraged to look up an article that was in the paper a few weeks ago regarding the top pastors in town to watch...I am not so sure how I feel about it. No offense but there is a common theme throughout the churches named...numbers, money, facilities, etc. It could be deadly if we aren't examining if the genuine well being of people aren't at the center. Feel free to read it. http://www.fresnobee.com/221/story/300801.html
New Toy...
MacBook!!!! Yes, my HP laptop started to die on me and so I decided that it was time to make the switch. So far I am lovin the fruit! Apple that is! Good stuff!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Does this not look GREAT?
My dear friend, BK, posted this video on her blog and I had to follow in her footsteps as I can't wait to see this movie!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Continually...
...Amazed.
I think I need to take my own advice that I give my students sometimes. I am amazed at how kids can teach me and how I can go into a situation expecting the worst and really not looking forward to something and then it totally turns around. PTL. I am feeling a bit better right now.
I think I need to take my own advice that I give my students sometimes. I am amazed at how kids can teach me and how I can go into a situation expecting the worst and really not looking forward to something and then it totally turns around. PTL. I am feeling a bit better right now.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
My Strength's Finder Results
My Top 5 Themes...
Significance
People who are especially talented in the Significance theme want to be very important in the eyes of others. They are independent and want to be recognized.
Competition
People who are especially talented in the Competition theme measure their progress against the performance of others. They strive to win first place and revel in contests.
Maximizer
People who are especially talented in the Maximizer theme focus on strengths as a way to stimulate personal and group excellence. They seek to transform something strong into something superb.
Futuristic
People who are especially talented in the Futuristic theme are inspired by the future and what could be. They inspire others with their visions of the future.
Learner
People who are especially talented in the Learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them.
Significance
People who are especially talented in the Significance theme want to be very important in the eyes of others. They are independent and want to be recognized.
Competition
People who are especially talented in the Competition theme measure their progress against the performance of others. They strive to win first place and revel in contests.
Maximizer
People who are especially talented in the Maximizer theme focus on strengths as a way to stimulate personal and group excellence. They seek to transform something strong into something superb.
Futuristic
People who are especially talented in the Futuristic theme are inspired by the future and what could be. They inspire others with their visions of the future.
Learner
People who are especially talented in the Learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them.
You only have one life...
Why not let loose and have some carefree fun every once in a while? Every action has a consequence I realize that, however sometimes I wonder if there are just way too many rules. I am glad I have friends who encourage me to live a little. Fun times.
Friday, January 11, 2008
What are you saying about yourself to others?
"Everyone is an influencer of other people. It doesn't matter who you are or what your occupation is."
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Purpose
The human emotions are an interesting thing. Recently I have been on an emotional roller coaster. One moment I feel in total control and can create my own destiny, the next moment I feel complete and total emptiness. I am really struggling with what my future looks like. I feel like a few days ago I had it all together and knew exactly what I wanted and what I was dreaming for, just days later I feel completely the opposite. I feel sad and question what is my purpose in life. How can something look so good one day and the next feel like its being pulled away? I have so many questions running through my head, so many attempts to understand exactly what is going on and what my next step should be. I often wonder what my life would be like if I had taken different steps, the end result would be drastically different. Then I question what would my life look like if I had grown up in a different family and wasn't faced with the choices I have had to make. I guess none of it matters. I have been dealt the hands I have and I have to work with what I was given. I just wish I had some sort of clarity. I must push forth, I must not give up.
Here kitty kitty
So, a few nights a week I hear my neighbor downstairs, she has an interesting name, I think it is Sky, but I am not 100%. Anywho, it's typically around 11pm and I am settling in bed and I hear her outside calling her kitty cat. It makes me laugh because here this cat lives outside and yet at night she goes out to find it and bring it inside. It is way dark, we have lots of bushes and trees, and yet she goes our hunting for this cat. It's as if she thinks its too cold for the kitty or something. Last night as I was drifting off to dream land I heard her and it made me laugh. I enjoy cats, however I think my neighbor needs to find a man or a hobby.
Monday, January 07, 2008
The Election At Hand
I am going to admit that yes, I voted for George W. in the last presidential election. I thought it was the right thing to do because I was a Christian. Well, my friends I will admit I made a mistake. I don't think I am alone in thinking that. The more I think about politics the more I think of separation of church and state. Many politicians claim to be Christian just to get the vote because apparently the United States is a Christian country...last time I checked not everyone here is worshiping Jesus so I don't know about that one.
I don't want to offend anyone who may be reading this however it really makes me sick to think that by voting democrat you are sinning. I have been around numerous Christian circles and honestly the jokes that are cracked against the democratic candidates make me question how Christ-like we as believers are even being.
Its hard for me to hear that the democratic candidates don't value life. I was talking with a good friend of mine and she made a good point, how does George W. value life when 3,911 U.S. soldiers have died in the Iraq war. These are men and women who have parents, husbands, wives, children, and countless other loved ones back and home that they will never have the chance to come back home and see again. How is this a value on life? Of this almost 4,000; I think we are up to seven grads just from Buchanan High School where I run a Campus Life club, where they are changing the name of the football stadium to Clovis Memorial Stadium to honor the fallen troops. Tell me how this war is valuing the lives of our brothers and sisters. It also interesting to look at the current toll of 3,911...it reflects back to 911 and the loss that our country experienced on that horrific day that will forever be ingrained in my mind. Lets not forget the 2,973 lives that were lost in that attack.
I think it is time that we as Christians stop pretending like we have it all figured out and that we stop condemning those who may not be voting with the republican party this election. I am not ashamed to say I'm not. And yes, I live in California, yes I am only 24 years old and some may think I'm young and naive, but at least I have decided that I don't have to conform to the majority just to make others happy.
I don't want to offend anyone who may be reading this however it really makes me sick to think that by voting democrat you are sinning. I have been around numerous Christian circles and honestly the jokes that are cracked against the democratic candidates make me question how Christ-like we as believers are even being.
Its hard for me to hear that the democratic candidates don't value life. I was talking with a good friend of mine and she made a good point, how does George W. value life when 3,911 U.S. soldiers have died in the Iraq war. These are men and women who have parents, husbands, wives, children, and countless other loved ones back and home that they will never have the chance to come back home and see again. How is this a value on life? Of this almost 4,000; I think we are up to seven grads just from Buchanan High School where I run a Campus Life club, where they are changing the name of the football stadium to Clovis Memorial Stadium to honor the fallen troops. Tell me how this war is valuing the lives of our brothers and sisters. It also interesting to look at the current toll of 3,911...it reflects back to 911 and the loss that our country experienced on that horrific day that will forever be ingrained in my mind. Lets not forget the 2,973 lives that were lost in that attack.
I think it is time that we as Christians stop pretending like we have it all figured out and that we stop condemning those who may not be voting with the republican party this election. I am not ashamed to say I'm not. And yes, I live in California, yes I am only 24 years old and some may think I'm young and naive, but at least I have decided that I don't have to conform to the majority just to make others happy.
Friday, January 04, 2008
Democrat...and Christian!
Yes friends, it is true...I officially changed my political party to Democrat. I know some of you would not agree with my choice and others fully support it and have even done the same thing. I am tired of the stereotype that it is not Christ-like to be a democrat. Seriously, show me in the bible where it says you gotta be a republican to be a follower of Christ. I am not the most political person but I am trying to be more well-educated on my voting and I am not ashamed to say that I am a Christian and a Democrat. Happy Election Year!
New Year...
2007 was a pretty good year. I wouldn't say it was extremely eventful. There were some highlights, such as my best friend getting married, getting my first place all to myself (no roomies or family), starting FPU and finishing the semester with straight A's, trip to Texas, a year of no car accidents, awesome ministry with students, Lisa coming home after over two years, and selling my cars to name a few. On the flip side there were hard times as well, the loss of my grandpa, hot summer with no real air conditioning in my apartment, a few awesome staff members left YFC, bad experience with wisdom teeth out, gaining about 20 pounds, and the lack of knowing what my direction in life really is.
With all that said, I am looking forward to 2008. Jen says its going to be magical so I hope that is true, ha! I am hoping to grow professionally, personally, and spiritually. I want to continue to work through issues in life to have a more clearer understanding of what the future looks like. It appears that the first week of the new year is already presenting some open doors so we shall see what happens. I am sure there will be definite changes in life, and change can hurt at time, but it really is the only way to grow. I am looking forward to change and growth. Here's to a new year!
With all that said, I am looking forward to 2008. Jen says its going to be magical so I hope that is true, ha! I am hoping to grow professionally, personally, and spiritually. I want to continue to work through issues in life to have a more clearer understanding of what the future looks like. It appears that the first week of the new year is already presenting some open doors so we shall see what happens. I am sure there will be definite changes in life, and change can hurt at time, but it really is the only way to grow. I am looking forward to change and growth. Here's to a new year!
Back From Vacation
Well, other than a few short entries the other day, I have been MIA from the blog world. I am sorry to my dedicated readers for lacking in the posting. But, I'm back!!!
Vacation seemed to fly by. I spent three days in the bay area with my bosses family and got to see the Sonoma/Napa Wine Country and many of its attractions. I then came home via train for Christmas. I spent two days with family and friends and then hopped in the car with Bec and Lisa and went on out lil road trip. Believe it or not it took us 10 hours to get to San Diego from Fresno...yes, I know ridiculous. What can I say...we love to eat for one, girls always have to pee, and we didn't plan the LA traffic sitch very well. Anywho, We spent time in San Diego then I got to get my first international experience...yes, ladies and gentlemen I have finally left the country...to Mexico! That was a fun day trip seeing a completely different culture. On the way home we spent a 14 hour day in Disneyland...something I NEVER want to do again. Hahaha. Ok, rephrase...I will do it under the circumstance of there being less people there, me now feeling sick, and taking some little breaks. The park was at capacity of 65,000 people the day we went and I was sick with a bit of a cold/sore throat. Anywho, all and all it was a great five days in So Cal.
I concluded the vacation with falling asleep at 10pm on New Years Eve. I decided not to do anything because I really wasn't feeling well. New Year's Day was spent visiting my family and running errands. Then back to work. Vacations are fun but they always seem to fly by way too fast!!! Eleven Days flew by! Now back to the fast-paced world of school and work.
Here's some vacation pics...
Vacation seemed to fly by. I spent three days in the bay area with my bosses family and got to see the Sonoma/Napa Wine Country and many of its attractions. I then came home via train for Christmas. I spent two days with family and friends and then hopped in the car with Bec and Lisa and went on out lil road trip. Believe it or not it took us 10 hours to get to San Diego from Fresno...yes, I know ridiculous. What can I say...we love to eat for one, girls always have to pee, and we didn't plan the LA traffic sitch very well. Anywho, We spent time in San Diego then I got to get my first international experience...yes, ladies and gentlemen I have finally left the country...to Mexico! That was a fun day trip seeing a completely different culture. On the way home we spent a 14 hour day in Disneyland...something I NEVER want to do again. Hahaha. Ok, rephrase...I will do it under the circumstance of there being less people there, me now feeling sick, and taking some little breaks. The park was at capacity of 65,000 people the day we went and I was sick with a bit of a cold/sore throat. Anywho, all and all it was a great five days in So Cal.
I concluded the vacation with falling asleep at 10pm on New Years Eve. I decided not to do anything because I really wasn't feeling well. New Year's Day was spent visiting my family and running errands. Then back to work. Vacations are fun but they always seem to fly by way too fast!!! Eleven Days flew by! Now back to the fast-paced world of school and work.
Here's some vacation pics...
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Say Hello To A Healthier New You!
Yes friends it is true, I have joined Weight Watchers. Two of my friends joined as well with the online program. It's pretty awesome. I know today is only day two but I am really enjoying tracking my food. It is a challenge to stay within my daily points and is causing me to really evaluate what I eat and to turn down not-so-good options.
Why did I decide to do WW you may ask? Well, I gained about 20 pounds in 2007 and decided I don't like what I look like. I am 24 and I think the eat-whatever-you-want-and-still-stay-thin phase has left. I used to be able to eat fast food and sweets and not gain a pound, well that is no longer. At Christmas I stepped on the scale and relaized I only weigh 1.5 pounds less than my dad. Don't get me wrong, my dad is not obese at all, however I realized that I just didn't like the track I was on. My stomach is large, as is my face.
So, with all that said, I ate like crap over the holidays and while on vacation and as of yesterday I am a lean, sugar free, low fat, reduced fat, point-tracking eating machine. Wish me luck and keep me accountable!
Ironing...
I have decided that I suck at ironing. There is a reason why I either do the route of dry cleaning or having my mom iron for me. I attempted ironing tonight and it was a bad situation! No accepting applications for a wife...just kidding!
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