N'Sync Said It Best...

BYE BYE BYE!!!!!!!!!

PTL for vacations!!!!!

A Semester Passed...

It's 4:30 in the morning and I can't sleep so I thought I would get up for a bit before I return to sleep.

My first semester at Fresno Pacific is now part of my past. I concluded my last final on Thursday at about 10:30am. What a relief I now feel and also a sense of accomplishment. It feels like it was just yesterday that it was August and I was scared out of my mind of the thought of balancing full time work with full time (14 units) of school. I remember thinking there was no way that I could do it. There were a few times along the way that I felt like I wanted to give up but by God's grace and the encouragement of friends, I made it to the finish line. A few semesters remain and I will be done. I am sure they will fly by just as fast as this one and shall become just memories in mind.

Overall this semester was pretty awesome. I made some amazing new friends at FPU as well as met some pretty cool professors and staff. I was challenged with the information that I learned and really have began to analyze what I want to do in my future. There were many frustrations with things such as units transferring, trying to get my schedule just right, and issues with financial aid, but all in all I am grateful for this semester...it was worth the stress at times, the little frustrations, and even the feelings of fear that I could not make it.

Thank you to my friends at FPU, my processors, the staff, and especially one of my bestest friends, Becky Kruse, for her commitment to FPU and her friendship to me. Thank you BK for letting me ask your questions, vent in frustration, and come over to steal your food...I love ya! PTL this semester is complete!

I don't want this to be me, how about you?

“Years wasted in vain regrets, energies dissipated in haphazard relationships and projects, emotions blunted, passive before whatever experiences the day brings, they are like snoring sleepers who resent having their peace disturbed. Their existential mistrust of God, the world, and even themselves underlies their inability to make a passionate commitment to anyone or anything.” -Brennan Manning

Gotta Love Christmas

So, I was driving yesterday and I saw this small little car. It was two-door and had a Christmas tree tied to the roof and no joke the tree was longer than the car. The funny part is that the car had a sunroof...the passenger in the car was reaching up through the sunroof and had his arms wrapped around the tree, holding it for dear life. I stopped, laughed in amusement, and thought this is why I love Christmas!

A passage put pretty bluntly...

"Look at your life and see how you have filled its emptiness with people. As a result they have a stranglehold on you. See how they control your behavior by their approval and disapproval. They hold the power to ease your loneliness with their company, to send your spirits soaring with their praise, to bring you down to the depths with their criticism and rejection. Take a look at yourself spending almost every waking moment of your day placating and pleasing people, whether they are living or dead. You live by their norms, conform to their standards, seek their company, desire their love, dread their ridicule, long for their applause, meekly submit to the guild they lay upon you; you are terrified to go against the fashion in the way you dress or speak or act or event think. And observe how even when you control them you depend on them and are enslaved to them. People have become so much a part of your being that you cannot even imagine living a life that is unaffected or uncontrolled by them." -Anthony DeMello in The Way To Love

This really made me pause for a moment and take in everything that is being said. It is scary how true this can actually be and the people so often are our friends, family, loved ones. Who am I outside of people, that is a hard question to answer. People have such a control and persuasiveness over us that it is scary. My take away from this is to really evaluate how I am without having to change that for others.

Aha Moments

-The feeling of getting my Christmas shopping done start to finish in six hours.

-Seeing two high school teen boys holding signs outside of the major shopping center saying "Free Hugs". I actually got a free hug and it made me smile. I am sure those two boys made a lot of people smile, what a random act of kindness.

-Sitting in church and watching a thirteen or fourteen year old boy lean over and kiss his mom on the shoulder. Made me wish that I had experiences like that as a kid.

-Driving 20 minutes home from church with the cell phone off and the car stereo off. Just reflecting in the silence.

-That affirmation you receive when someone tells you "We appreciate what you do".

-Understanding that two hours of my time meant the world to my mom.

-Knowing that no matter how crazy life is, it's going to be okay.

A really good weekend in a nutshell.

Man Cold!

This is a shoot out to all my boys who suffer "Man Colds"!

Long time no blog...

Sorry that I have been lacking in the blog area of my life lately. I has been a bit crazy these past few weeks. Work has been non-stop busy as we are planning for a lot of upcoming events and trips. In addition, I have been working closely with my new boss to try and get him up to speed on a lot of stuff. School has also been intense! I finished my first semester of classes at FPU on Friday afternoon. This week is finals and I still have a few last minute assignments to work on and then studying for exams. But come Thursday around 11am I will be a free man!!! I will have my first semester done...seems like just yesterday I was starting FPU. Time flies when your having fun! Anywho, after this week things should slow down. I am also looking forward to my vacation! PTL for a little rest, relaxation, fun, friends, and the holidays!

Read and wanted to share...

"It hurts to love someone who will not respond, but what hurts more is to love someone and never find the courage to tell them how you feel. Maybe God wants us to meet a few incorrect people before we find the right one, so that in the end, when we meet them, we know how to be grateful for that marvelous gift. One of the saddest things in life is meeting someone who means everything in life to you, so that in the end you can realize that it was nothing. And you actually have to let them go. When the door to happiness is closed on you, another is opened, but some times we look at the closed door so much that we don’t see the one that has been opened in front of us. It is true that we don’t know what we have until we have lost it. But it is also true that we don’t know what we have been missing until we find it. Giving someone all your love will never guarantee their love in return, but don’t expect them to love you back, only hope that the love will grow in the others heart. But if it does not grow be happy because it grew in yours. There are things that I could find you hearing, that you would never hear from the person who you hope to hear them from, but don’t be so deaf to hear them from that person who says them from the bottom of their heart! Never say good bye if you still want to try. Never feel like you give up if you feel you can still keep winning. Never tell someone that you don’t love them if you can't let them go. Love comes to he who waits, even when he has been deceived, to the ones who have been traded on, to he who still needs to love, even though he has been hurt, and he who has the willingness to confidence again. Loving is letting those we know be who they are, and not trying to transform them into our own image, because we would only be loving the reflection of our self in them. Don’t go by exterior looks and beauty, you can be fooled. Go for someone who makes you smile and laugh. There moments in which we miss a person so much that we want to take them out of our dreams and hug them. I hope that you dream with that special someone, dream whatever you want, go wherever you want because you only have one life and one opportunity to do all that you want to do. For someone who can make a dark day shine. I hope you have sufficient happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough pain to keep you human, and enough hope to be happy. The happiest people don’t always have the best of everything, the take the best of everything they find on their journey."

Pretty Much Addicted

So, my best friend and his wife bought me the complete first season of One Tree Hill on DVD for my birthday. I have seen maybe a half of an episode of this show on television the whole time its been on. Well, needless to say I popped it in the DVD player and I am addicted. I am sure I am going to blow through the 20-something episodes pretty quickly. I am such a sucker for these kinds of shows (i.e. 90210, The OC, etc.) I usually head to bed by 11pm but I was so hooked that I stayed up past midnight last night watching. I think you can say I am addicted and at a such a busy time in life, I shouldn't have opened the DVD's until Christmas break, haha. Oh well!

With that said, I think that this show has some good values that one could pick up on. Last night I finished watching and went to bed with the overall theme that your family does not determine your destiny. If you come from a screwed up home or with parents who don't necessarily have the best ideas about life, you can grow up and not allow that to be you, if you but forth the effort to change. It gave me a hope that the sins of past generations do not have the be the sins of the future if you honestly attempt to change. So, that's my encouragement for the day.

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words...

Dysfunctional Family

I would like to give a shout out to all those who understand what it is like to have a dysfunctional family. I love my family, don't get me wrong, however I cling to the fact that we don't get to choose who our family is. Yesterday was the first year in about four years that my entire family got together to celebrate a holiday. You see in past years bringing everyone together at the holidays resulted in multiple outbreaks of fights. So, when I heard that we were reattempting this gathering this Thanksgiving I was a little skeptical.

Overall it wasn't horrible. Pretty much everyone has the same personalities as they did some years ago. One thing is that all the grand kids have grown older and therefore its now like a gathering of adults. Its kind of weird to see two of your cousins and know that they have gotten married since the last times you seen them. Another cousin brought his girlfriend, soon to be wife. I am okay because they are older than I but if any of the younger ones start getting married before I, I might have a problem. Haha.

It is still interesting to see how everyone interacts. We each got our plates and sat in different parts of the house with our immediate family, weird right? Well, there wasn't a table big enough for everyone but it still shows how not everyone gets along well enough to even eat all together. Well, it is what it is. I didn't create these broken relationships, but hey at least everyone is trying. I think more and more the family is trying because my grandparents are getting older and we are starting to realize they won't be around forever. It hit me yesterday that my grandma will be 70 in this coming up year. We looked at some pictures from when they were younger and it made think, wow I am starting to get older. My mom talked of how my grandpa used to hold and feed me when I was a baby. Crazy how the years pass us by.

One thing that I was really grateful for was my aunt Lydia. Technically shes my aunt, however shes only 18. My grandparents adopted her which made her their daughter and therefore my aunt. Really shes more like a cousin to me however she doesn't live down calling me her nephew. Haha. In past years we have not gotten along at all but now she has matured so much and we actually get along much better. We spent a lot of time talking yesterday and that really was the highlight of my time with the family. I actually felt like Lydia and I were finally family and she was sharing with me what is going on in her life.

So, with all that said, as dysfunctional as my family is I still love them and I am thankful to have them. I do pray that if I do have a family one day that the dysfunction will be able to slowly change and a break through in family dynamics will change. I was scared to go into Thanksgiving yesterday, but I survived and it was good to see family as awkward as it was.

Another Year Wiser?

Yesterday I hit the big 24! One more year and I will be a quarter of a century. I must say I thought I wasn't the biggest birthday person, however when your birthday falls on Thanksgiving it is kind of a bummer. I mean I had a good day but it just didn't feel like a regular birthday. I must say that I am blessed with some pretty amazing friends as Bec and Jen had me over for a pancake breakfast since they knew the rest of the day would be filled with family. Not that family is horrible, but mine is just weird and honestly spending a full day with the extended family is not something I would dream of for a birthday celebration. Luckily, I did my research and found that my birthday will fall again on Thanksgiving in five years for the big 29. This is okay, I just didn't want it to fall on my 30th Birthday because there will be a celebration on that special year. Haha! I additionally want to shout out to Megan, Ranae, Becca, and Jeff who all shared in experiencing their birthday yesterday on Thanksgiving. Its crazy to have so many friends who all have the same birthday. Anywho, Thanksgiving is over as is my birthday, so now it full swing into Christmas!!!!

Shift Happens

Thanks to Josh Long for sharing this on his blog. If this video doesn't make you think about the current state of our society and the future of this world I don't know what will. Enjoy!

Content

I don't know what it is but I really feel a place on contentment right now. Maybe it has to do with the holidays, there is something about this season that makes my heart smile from the inside out.

I really feel a place of peace in my job. For many months I have wrestled with whether I am called to stay at YFC or move elsewhere. I was at a point of leaving just some weeks ago but I really feel that God has me there for a reason and wants me to stay. I have been amazingly blessed by my new boss, Jeff. However he doesn't want me to call him boss, because we are a team and he doesn't consider himself more superior than I. His family has become my second family. He really is like that dad that I have longed to have for many years. His wife and three kids have become like a mom, brother, and two sisters. I feel truly blesses to have them in my life.

I can see light at the end of the tunnel as the semester of school at FPU comes to a close in a few weeks and I am really excited. Although finals will be stressful I can see past that knowing that there is rest in the end. I am starting to have some direction for next semester and the semesters proceeding which has also provided great relief.

I am also at an amazing place with my friends. I mean I have great friends hands down but I really feel like God is showing me the true meaning of friendship and being there for people through thick and through thin. Jen and Bec are truly the kind of friends who I will grow old with. I have amazing CL volunteers who are really amazing friends as well, Ranae, Justin, Reha, Rory, Doug, and Josh; I am so grateful to minister along side you. Lisa is back in the country and we have been able to catch up and it has been awesome! Brad as always is like the brother that I never had and he makes me laugh and encourages me in more ways than he knows. I have met some really cool people at FPU that are my new friends. And my-coworkers are more like family than friends although the fill dual roles. The list could go on and on of people who I have been so blessed with. Thank you all for being such amazing friends!

There will always be stresses in life, things on a to-do list that need to be accomplished, unexpected problems that will have to be handled, and unanswered questions...but God is bigger than it all. I encourage you to lay all the garbage in life to the side and embrace life, embrace love, cling to contentment and celebrate this holiday season with joy and thanksgiving.

Sometimes tears feel good...

I am going to fully admit the fact that I am a man and yes I cry. I think it is perfectly okay to cry and honestly sometimes it feels good. Tears came to my eyes twice on Saturday night.

First, a DVD came to my office from our national service center. It contained stories from students on how YFC and specifically Campus Life has impacted their lives. As I listened to some of the crap these teenagers have been through it hurt my heart but then they shared how a YFC adult came along side and encouraged and strengthened them, leading to a few tears. It made me think of all my co-workers and our teams of volunteers who come along side teens every week. PTL for adults who care.

Later that night I was flipping through the tv and found the movie A Walk To Remember on. I am such a sap when it comes to this movie. It can make me cry every time. Yes, this is a teen love story but it is so much more. It is beautiful. Yes, I admit when I saw it with Jen and Bec some many many years ago, I did tear up in the theater...I think I denied that for years. Haha. I am secure now in the fact that it is okay to cry in movies. Needless to say this movie made me tear up again on Saturday. There is something about love that strikes a cord in my heart. Here's a story about a popular bad boy who becomes good and falls in love with the non-popular nerdy Christian girl. Come to find out she is dying yet he does not leave her side. He marries her just days before she passes away. How freakin sad. It makes me think that there is indeed hope in love.

So, I am a big baby, I admit it. =)

Welcome Home Lisa!

It's been 27 long months and last night I got to welcome home my dear friend Lisa back home to the USA. What an exciting time it was to see her meet friends and family who have missed her so dearly. I am looking forward to catching up over a good club sandwich at the Corner Cafe with my awesome friend! Welcome home Lisa!

What Does Derek Need?

Can you tell I didn't want to write my paper?

This made me laugh. Here's how it works: Enter “yourname needs” into google and then see what the first ten entries say you need. Then post the results to your blog.

1. Derek needs a woman! (The whole world is apparently telling me now!)
2. Derek needs our mojo. (Hmmm...what exactly is mojo? I am scared if I need it)
3. Derek needs some work. (Derek has enough work people)
4. Derek needs trailer. (I'm down to be a lil trailer trash)
5. Derek needs to draw this for our darn hats. (Derek doesn't draw, sorry friends)
6. Derek needs a date. (LOL. See #1)
7. Derek needs suggestions for a good place for dinner on Sunday evening in Toronto near Bloor and Yonge; anyone? (I am down for a lil vacation in Toronto)
8. Derek needs a myspace. (Already have one, sorry)
9. Derek needs a bigger cause. (LOL. Hmmm, isn't my current cause good enough)
10. Derek needs to get behind a drum stick if you know what i mean compadre. (I don't know what you mean compadre!)

Praise God for Amazing People

I approached the door of the church in which I speaking at today and a sign read "Welcome to Saint Derek's Day, Come In" I have a hard time accepting myself as a Saint. I often feel far from it. However, I guess we are all Saint's in God's eyes.

What an amazing feeling to be embraced by an awesome group of God fearing, God loving individuals. One church member referred to the congregation as a bunch of misfits. I was invited to come and speak at Third Day Fellowship Fresno. This congregation has been praying for me for the past five years and boy do they have the power of prayer. I came this morning to share my testimony, to preach a little, and then to share what is going on through the ministry of YFC. Typically I am filled with nervousness when I speak to groups of adults, not today. Praise God. There is something about this group of people that warrants you to have no feelings of nervousness. They are the most loving and accepting people I have ever met.

After my time of sharing the church gathered around, laid hands, prayed over me, and commissioned me as a licensed minister by their congregation and church network (network being a group of non-denominational church that have joined together in affiliation). I truly felt God's presence as these people, many of which have never met me, spoke words of affirmation and support over me.

I am so blessed by this group of 30 or so amazing people who have the biggest hearts for God I have ever seen. I am blessed to be able to call them all my brothers and sisters. Thank you Pastor Dave and 3DFF for allowing me to be part of your family!

Saying good bye is never easy...

Funerals bring closure. It's a time to say your good bye's but also to reflect on a good life lived. Wait...maybe good bye's is the wrong term. I learned from a former student of mine, Katy, that you don't say good bye, you only say see ya later or talk to you soon. Ultimately, those who pass we hope to see again in Heaven.

I attended a funeral yesterday for my dear friends, Grace and Julie, mother. It was sad to sit there and think that their mother was only 53 when she passed. She had health problems and ultimately suffered a stroke which caused brain damage. After five weeks of life support she passed on to be with her Heavenly Daddy. Grace and Julie wrote a letter expressing the memories they had of their mom. I never had the chance to meet this lady but she sounded like a truly wonderful woman. She was described as being a wild one, I could totally see that looking at Julie and Grace, thats gotta be where they got it from.

Something that I think deed down I have been struggling with is closure. My grandfather passed away eight months ago and I never got to say good bye. My step-grandma choose to not have a service and I think that resulted in a lack of closure. I never got to say good bye. But I must cling to the hope that I will one day rejoice again in seeing my grandpa. I miss him. Christmas is coming and I always send him some sort of 49er themed gift since he was the biggest Niners fan I can think of. It's hard to think that this year I won't be sending that gift. This year I won't be picking up the phone to tell him Merry Christmas. I must cling to the memories that I have, knowing that he loved me and he knew I loved him.

Death is never easy, but in time the pain slips away and we are left with all the cherished memories of our loved ones. Grace and Julie, know that I love you guys and cling to those around you who are here for you during these difficult times.

Commitment

“There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.” -Unknown

I love looking for good quotes when a topic is floating around in my head. The above quote, although unknown who said it, is pretty amazing. If you commit to something you live it out. You give your all and accept nothing but results. You are not half in and half out. It's a whole-hearted kind of lifestyle.

This week I had to have a special mandatory meeting with my leadership team at BHS Campus Life. There seemed to be a lack of commitment to the leadership team both from my student leaders and my adult volunteers. Our meeting prior had a total of 5 of us there, that includes me. You probably are asking is 5 bad? Well, compare that to the fact that our total team is 17, 5 is not even a third in attendance.

I hate to lay down the law however we had to address the issue of commitment. Being on leadership takes a heart and passion for the mission and purpose behind Campus Life. You can not be on leadership and only attend our meetings or participate when it is convenient to you. So, we had the meeting and all but two of the seventeen made the meeting. It was hard but we wrestled through the discussion. I was pleased to see most of the student leaders doing the talking. We defined what it means to be a committed leader and I requested they sign the leadership covenant. I purposely don't have them sign this at the start of the school year because I lay out the expectations and hope that I can trust the fact that I don't need a written signature to hold them to something. Well, every year in November/December we have to pull out the document, review, and sign it. This time I let the students decide if they wanted to sign it then or take it with them and pray about the commitment of leadership. I told them to take a week to pray if they wanted to and to weigh out the possible options. Surprisingly I had about four or so students not return the covenant to me that night. I realized that there is more than just one or two who are on the fence about leadership. This is fine, I really do want them to seek out God in their decision. We will see what the final decision is that these students make. It's meetings like these that make me realize how much stuff our students are involed with these days, so many activities outside of regular school attendance.

With the talks of commitment I also had to evaluate my personal life. I have recently been weighing back and forth on my calling to stay at YFC or to possibly depart. It seems like the more and more I process things the more and more I feel as if YFC is my home. I feel like it is where I need to be for this time in my life. I am really trying to be content in where I am at, knowing God is in control. It is up to me to commit to the ministry of YFC because without commitment I settle for less than results.

People of the State of California vs. Derek Abbott

Peope of the State of California vs. Derek Abbott (Defendant)
Courts Decision on Citation Number 1741XXX
The Court Finds the defendant of violation Vc22XXX DISMISSED
Court shall refund the defendant the following amount: $204.00

PTL for the court system! Thank you officer who failed to filed necessary documentation! I get my money back plus no violation on my record!!!!!!!! Happy Dance!!!

myxertones.com

All I can say is thank you j.Lo for introducing me to myxertones.com. A FREE site to download FREE ringtones for your phone. I ended up downloading about 25 or so last night and saving them all to my phone...dedicating songs to certain individuals when they call me. You should totally check out the site!

Just 4 Minutes, D

Rebecca Marie Kruse seriously cracks me up! All I can say is that I am blessed to have such an amazing friend of 12 years! "Just 4 Minutes" will forever hold a place in my heart is a new memory of when Bec said lets just close our eyes for the commercials, just four minutes, D. Needless to say we fell asleep for a little bit longer than that. BK thanks for being such an awesome friend and making my life more entertaining!

Sin

“Be a sinner and sin boldly!” “Let your sins be strong!” “Sin bravely!” All quotes from Martin Luther.

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?" "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." -Jesus (Mark 12:28-31)

Is it just me or am I safe to say that the church, AKA Christians, are pretty judgemental people? Did Jesus not walk on this earth and spend his time with sinners? Are we not all sinners? Who gives us the right to label one sin greater than another? Last I checked the people Jesus got ticked off the most with were Pharisees, the religious leaders, who made lists of rules and enforced them on the people. Let me ask you this, is the church today playing the role of religious leaders? Does the church roll out these laundry lists of do's and dont's? I mean it is pretty clear in Mark 12 that Jesus says our number one priority is to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves. Does all the other junk really matter? I mean it is pretty simple, I think in the end we will be asked if we love our God with all that is in us and love our neighbor as yourself.

I came across the quotes from Luther after speaking to someone today. I had never heard them and they intrigued me. I think what Luther is saying here is that all that matters really is what is laid out in Mark 12. In Luther's time the Catholic church was pulling out all the stops with lists of rules and Luther would not play along. "Be a sinner and sin boldly" I think what this boils down to is your own personal definitions of morals. After talking with a dear friend last night it became clear to me that there is no set right or wrong. One person's morals are going to be different than another. This is based on life experiences, on the way we are brought up, on our own personal being. If the church labels something as a sin and we don't agree then take a stance, be a sinner and boldly stand up for what you believe. One thing I am realizing is that I often agree with the majority because I don't want to ruffle feathers but ultimately I am not being true to myself. I am not standing up for what I believe. So, today I have a new view, focus on loving God and loving my neighbor as myself, outside of that nothing matters and standing up boldly for what I believe in.

I left my ark at home!

I don't think I have ever seen a storm blow in and out of town so quickly, leaving the results it did last evening. The down-pour lasted one to two hours and left streets flooded and power out. The wind blew down power poles and trees. The hail damaged peoples buildings. Craziness! Trying to drive around town was nuts...the water was up the sides of the car doors...and I have a truck! It was insane. I could see how people got stuck! What is more funny is the storm is long gone and now it is a sunny day. What a funny/crazy personality Mother Nature has.

John C. Maxwell

Today I had the privilege of hearing John C. Maxwell speak at Fresno Pacific. What a dynamic speaker. I really enjoyed him. He only was given 30 minutes or so to speak at College Hour but I could have probably listened to him for hours more.

Maxwell's topic today was running a lap with leaders in the bible. He pulled out three and gave us insight into their lives and what they would say if they were to tell us one sentence based on their life experience.
Esther - God has a purpose for your life.
David - Don't let others limit your potential.
Rebecca - Serve others before yourself.

What an awesome experience to hear a world class author share. I left feeling very encouraged and very happy that I took the time to attend. Thanks FPU for bringing us great speakers! Can't wait for Donald Miller in the spring!

The court is my friend!

So, I went to court this morning after receiving a notice stating my license was going to by suspended in 15 days for a failure to appear/failure to pay on a speeding ticket. This notice was totally bogus as I paid the fine and submitted my appeal via trial by declaration months ago and the courts cashed my check.

I waited in line at 8am this morning when they opened behind 30-40 other individuals. Let me say a diverse crowd indeed. The two in front of me were making out...loud kissing. Kinda grossed me out that early in the morning. Anywho, I waited in line with my copy of canceled check in hand and copy of all the documents I submitted.

I finally reached the clerk and found out that the letter did go out in error and they had all my paperwork and my money. Come to find out the cop failed to submit his paperwork to the judge! He missed the deadline and they extended it a month...which was a few weeks ago and he still didn't file the paperwork. So, the judge has my paperwork in hard and it appears that I will receive a ruling in my favor and it will be removed from my record and I will get a refund of the bail! All I can say is PTL that I have been told to fight tickets cause when the police man doesn't do his part you win! This advice coming from my boss and Executive Director. Haha.

So, the hour down at the court was all worth it in the end! =)

2 for 2

So, I don't want to brag...this is not about bragging. This is about me being in complete and total shock. So, I got my Econ mid-term back today and I got a perfect score of 100. Mind you I got a 100 on the first exam too. The class average on these tests is around 75. There are no assignments outside of exams, the professor bases your grade solely on these exams. I seriously don't understand how I do so well...I mean I was expecting a B on this one. It's shocking is what it is. And I got a C on my youth ministry mid-term, haha. Maybe my calling is to be an Economist not a Youth Minister. Watch out world, I am gonna be the next Alan Greenspan! JUST KIDDING!!!!!!

hate hate HATE...

allergies. I got a call from the doctors office that my labs came back. I am allergic to grass, olive trees, and oat pollen. Freakin sucks! This is the cause of my reoccurring sore throats, runny/stuffed up nose, head aches, and eye irritations. What needs to happen is this freakin 90 degree weather needs to go away and it needs to hecka rain so all this crap gets out of the air. Then I shall be a happy camper. I just want winter to come already!!!

ISTJ...

Your personality type is ISTJ.

Introverted (I) 71% Extraverted (E) 29%
Sensing (S) 73% Intuitive (N) 27%
Thinking (T) 60% Feeling (F) 40%
Judging (J) 73% Perceiving (P) 27%

So, I have taken the myers briggs personality test before however I seemed to misplace my results and I don't recall what my type was...I was asked by a friend what my type was so I decided to take it again. I found that I am an ISTJ. I read the profile (http://typelogic.com/istj.html) and sadly it described me however I can't always say I am proud of the description. I am pretty much down to business, just want the facts, enjoy procedure, don't share feelings all that much, and become frustrated with inconsistencies in others. Hmmm...good to know. Maybe I need to work on being a little more free and lose. My personality is a mix of George Washington, Herbert Hoover, Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, and Cliff from Cheers. Haha...too funny!

Love

"The absolutely unpardonable thing was not his concern for the sick, the cripples, the lepers, the possessed...not even his partnership for the poor, humble people. The real trouble was that he got involved with moral failures, with obviously irreligious and immoral people; people morally and politically suspect, so many dubious, obscure, abandoned, hopeless types, existing as an eradicable evil, on the fringe of every society. This was the real scandal. Did he really have to go so far? What kind of dangerous and naive love is this, which does not know its limits: the frontiers between fellow countrymen and foreigners, party members and non-members, between neighbors and distant people, between honorable and dishonorable callings, between moral and immoral, good and bad people? As if dissociation were not absolutely necessary here. As if we ought not to judge in these cases. As if we could always forgive in these circumstances." Brennan Manning (Abba's Child, pp 65-66)

The same God who loves those who call him Abba also loves those who do not know him. What is love that we are to judge who is deserving and who is not? The love of Abba stretches as far as one side of the world to the other, encompassing every body along the way. Love for the woman who has an abortion, the man who is looking at internet porn, the homeless man on the corner who is going to take the dollar I give him and go buy more beer, the woman on G Street waiting for a man with some money to pick her up, the teenager who is cutting and doesn't tell a sole because he hates life, the father who is abusing his children, the downstairs neighbors who blare Michael Jackson music at all hours into the night, the person who is running from the overhead helicopter with the spotlight, the guy who is struggling with homosexuality and understanding his true identity, the girl who is recovering from being taken advantage of and turns to a friend who in turn takes advantage of her wounded state, the woman who is having an affair on her husband, the guy who flips people off in traffic, the Christian picketers standing out on street corners, those who are lying on their income taxes, the bombers on 9/11, you, me, and every person we cross paths with...we are all sinner...and guess what, God loves us all.

Realness

I really like when people are real. Real with that they went through in life. Real with who they are. Real with what life is about. Often times we wear masks...especially as the church...I am guilty of this as well. However, I am very thankful for people around me who are real! So, thank you!

I think I like...

my new boss. I wasn't always too thrilled about the idea of bringing in someone from the outside to be my boss but the more I spend time with him the more I like him. I got to have lunch with my new boss (Jeff), his family, my Executive Director who has been my boss for the past year and a half and his family today. It was a good time of sharing stories about our lives and dreaming about the future. Although, I don't know what my future has in store or how long I will be at YFC, I do think I will get along with Jeff and I think he has the heart, passion, and big dreams to lead our ministry. Here's to a new chapter in the book and full speed ahead.

Don't....

watch scary movies, alone, in the dark, in downtown Fresno. So, last night I decided to pop in the movie Disturbia that my friend Meg loaned me. I have wanted to see it for a while so I thought what the heck. I am not going to lie...I screamed aloud a few times while watching the movie. It was a great film but really made you question who is living around you! You don't really know who your neighbors are! The noises outside freaked me out a bid as I sat on the edge of my seat...or should I say edge of my bed. Anywho, despite the fact that it did scare me a tad, its a movie I would recommend.

Sometimes there are no answers

I found myself asking "Why" the past few days and realizing sometimes we won't have the answers. We don't always understand why bad things happen to good people. It also became clear to me that so often I look at all the problems in my life and feel sorry for myself when really I have no idea the hurt and pain that others are going through. My problems are not even a drop of water compared to what others are experiencing. As I type this blog two of my friends are going through a world of pain. Both of them are battling with losing their mothers. Both of these friends are younger than I. One who's mom is battling day by day with cancer that has taken over her entire body. The other who's mom has been in a coma for five weeks and the family is coming to terms with removing life support as there is no chance for mom to wake up. There are no words that I can say that can ease any pain these two families are going through. I try and put myself in their shoes and it doesn't even compare to an ounce of what their are feeling. I could not imagine losing my mom or looking at her and knowing she is going to pass. My heart goes out to my friends and their families. All we can do is know that God is in control and He is the only one that can comfort.

Meet my friend...

I have been meaning to post this blog since last week. I would like to introduce you to my friend...or should I say half-a-friend in the picture...Bob the cockroach.

You see a few weeks back I was driving and out of the side of my eye I say something moving on the passenger floor. I looked over and there was Bob...the biggest cockroach I have ever seen. At least four inches in length. I immediately pulled over, jumped out of my car and went around to dispose of Bob. But he was a fast bugger...as I went to get him he ran up inside the dash of my car. I could not find away to get him. For the next few days I drove around worried that he was going to jump out and crawl on me while I was driving. But after a few days I forgot about Bob until...

Fast forward to last week. I was visiting a buddy of mine and he wanted to see my new truck. He asked if it had four wheel drive. I told him yes, however I didn't know how to use it. He told me to hop in and he would teach me. So, I got in the passenger seat and we took off. We went around the block and pulled back up to my buddies office. When we were getting out he said "Derek, what is THAT?" and pointed to my vent. I went around and looked and there was Bob...dead of course...and stuck to the vent. Actually taking up almost all of the vent. I started laughing. Then I thought how I had the air on earlier and how I recalled things coming out of the vent and I thought it was dust or something...nope...it was pieces of Bob. Ewww.

So I drove around a few hours wondering how I would get him out since he was inside the vent and the vent does not come off. Leave it to one of my bestest friends, Bec, lil miss McGiver to come up with a solution. She pulled our her trusty lil tweezers and I dissected Bob out of the vent. The only problem was he was too big to come through so I had to break him into pieces to remove him. Wait there was another problem, I had to leave the air running to get him out or else he would fall inside the back of the vent so I got to have Bob guts fly all over me while I pulled him out. What you see in the above picture is the remaining chunk of Bob on the ground after I got him out. RIP Bob...it was nice knowing you!

I could live here....

It kind of intrigues me to live in a big city and work in a big sky scraper. But then on the other hand I am sure it is different to live there then to drive through on the freeway. Hmmm.

Overrated

For some time now I have been looking forward to trying a Chick-fil-a. I have heard that their chicken sandwiches are amazing and I am totally a fan of a good chicken sandwiches. So, this past weekend I was finally able to try one and it was good, however I feel like it is a little overrated. It was not the best sandwich I have ever had...honestly it was just pretty average. And not only that but it comes with pickles...which I am not a fan of. And even more sad it doesn't come with lettuce! You have to pay to add lettuce on. So, my dear readers Chick-fil-a I believe is just another O.C. fad.

Frustrations...

Sometimes it is hard to understand why organizations have to be so difficult. I am frustrated with FPU. Great school. Love the people. However, I don't always understand reasons behind policies and decisions. Looking into the possibility of switching programs and it's like pulling teeth to try and get answers to which path is best. I am trying to remain patient and calm through this process and hope that there are answers that just have to be uncovered.

The Church & Homosexuality

The Church and Homosexuality...a topic that was discussed amongst my Intro to Youth Ministry class as well as at the Youth Network Meeting last week. This topic came up as a duo came to Fresno...Jason & deMarco. Two Christian men, gay partners, who love each other and love God...and they are Christian singers. They also released an independent film recently. Here is the trailer clip...

The topic of homosexuality isn't going away. It is here with us for at least the next decade so what is the church to do about it? Kids are feeling unaccepted and unloved by the church. More and more we are going to lose them because we are going to treat them like they are not human and all in the name of Jesus. I am starting to question, where is the grace? Where in the bible does it say that homosexuality is the worst sin imaginable, aren't all sins equal? I have a hard time standing against people like Jason and deMarco who are trying to spread God's love to a group of people in our society that is usually beaten up by the church.

I investigated this more after seeing the above video clip in class and at my meeting. I came across an article written by Jason and I thought I would put up a link. It really does make you think about this topic on a whole different level. Let me know your thoughts.
http://www.spiritpop.com/reconciled.htm

Solitude

Today in my practicum class we took fifteen minutes of solitude. It was an amazing thing. We were all silent and for the first half we listened to an audio of a woman's voice and she took us through letting go the busyness around us and bringing God into the center of all our thoughts. It was a very cool experience.

I began to picture all the areas of my life: work/ministry, friend, family, my home, school and I pictured my self hurrying from place to place and realizing how often I don't put God in the center of what I do. How often I can see me going through the actions of life and not focusing on the fact that everything truly revolves around Him. I left the class and drove across town and didn't turn on my music, didn't talk on my phone, just spent another fifteen or so minutes listening to the sounds around me and taking the things of life in.

It really made me think that I never spend moments just in silence. Life is so busy and it causes us to loose touch. I encourage you to spend a moment today in the silence...no music, no reading, no talking...just be still and know that He is there.

Adios mi Beemer

It's official...I am a one car man. I juggled two for the longest time...then it went to three, back to two, and now down to one. I handed over the keys to the beauty known as the Beemer, Z-4 Roadster, the Chick Mobile, or as Jen would call it the Tic-Tac. Good bye sweet car, we had some fun memories...but we also had a lot of horrible ones...accidents, vandalism, tickets...I bid you farewell lil car.

Whirl Wind Weekend...

Recapping Friday to Monday...

Highlights...
-Got to spend time with a student who moved away.
-Got to meet a new friend...Valerie.
-Had dinner with Valerie and two other friends.
-Heard a pretty awesome local speaker and mission behind your ministry.
-Was able to chat with Gracie online!
-Had lunch with my buddy Brett who I hadn't hung out with in almost a year!
-Had lunch with Becky which is always a pleasure.

Lowlights...
-Got up way too early for a conference I had to work at all day.
-Food at the conference was icky.
-Visited a church that was way different than mine which was a little too in the box for me. (Caused me to have greater appreciation for my church)
-Worked late on Friday night.
-Became frustrated with students lack of commitment and respect.
-Cable got hacked again and stopped working.
-Not nearly enough sleep...or enough time spent at home.

Time to start another new week...seems as if they continue to fly by!!!

Freakin Criminals!

So, someone hacked my cable again!!!!! I turned on my tv last night and blurry picture and sketchy sound. Luckily my internet is still up today, knock on wood. I don't understand why whichever scammy neighbor is stealing cable won't get the picture. They cut them off two weeks ago and they struck again and in the process they jacked up my service! Can you tell I am not happy? So ya...repair men back out on Monday to attempt to fix this again. I am going to demand some kind of lock to fix this. Okay, thats all.

Bye bye cursed ice chest!

So, tonight I had to bid farewell to a very nice, relatively new ice chest/cooler. You see we had a youth event and I asked a volunteer and student to empty the water and excess ice at the end of the event and they spilled it all over the floor. So, we placed the empty ice chest in the back of my pick-up truck for me to take back to the office. This isn't a little ice chest...it is probably four to five feet in length and two to three feet deep. Well, I dropped off kids and was heading home. I got home and looked in the back of my truck and the ice chest is gone. Yes, gone. I thought it was some kind of sick twisted joke and I stood very perplexed. But after contacting students to verify it was indeed in the truck and I wasn't losing my mind like I left it at the event, I came to conclude it flew out of my truck. How something this large flew out without me hearing or seeing I have no idea. Maybe my music (AKA jams) were too loud for me to notice. I do recall a car honking at one point but I didn't understand so I kept driving, that could have been at the point I lost it. Who knows. So, I hate to report that YFC owns one less ice chest and either someone got a free ice chest and is very happy tonight or someone is very sad because the hit this foreign object on the dark road. I declare that the ice chest was cursed and therefore possibly demon possessed and therefore Jesus set it free so it could cause us no more harm. Haha. RIP blue ice chest. Now we shall wait for my boss to get the voicemail telling him that its gone, haha.

Not gonna lie...complete and total shock...

So, last Friday I took an Econ exam. I had econ the first semester of my junior year of high school...which was umm about seven year ago. Which means my brain hasn't retained too much info from that class that long ago. Everyone in my college Econ class was freaking out because the professor we have bases the entire class on a few exams. No homework, no quizzes, no papers...just exams. You do poor on exams = you you do poor in class, not much room to mess up. Friday was the first exam and I was a bit scared of not doing well but I ended up being the first one done in about a class of 35. I found it fairly easy but knew there were some questions I was not confident about.

Today the exams were passed back. The professor explained that the class average was 76.4 which is not horrible but not the best. He went onto say two students got a perfect score. I laughed and thought I will be lucky if I even got an A at all. The professor walked around to pass back the tests. I was one of the last to receive mine back and I looked in disbelief as I read the red ink of the number "100". How in the world was I one of the perfect scores? I do enjoy business but not that much, haha. Maybe this is a sign I should become an economist...NOT.

The scary part is tomorrow I have a statistics exam and I hate math. Yes, I know I worked in finance, how can I hate math? Finance is basically using a computer that does everything for you. Statistics is a bunch of formulas that no one is ever going to use...well wait maybe a slim 1% of society like my BFF, Brad, who plans to make a killing off of stats. Hehe. Back to studying.

Bye Bye Oscar the Fish

So, many of you have known my huge fish the Oscar's. I have had them for a good three years or so. They truly were larger than fish life. About a year and a half ago I moved the fish habitat down to the YFC office. One of the three kicked the bucket shortly after the move...some months later another one left. So, now I was left with one. The lil scrawny white fish that always got picked on by the other two.

Well, the neighborhood kids had a good year and a half of visiting the fish. During that time the remaining Oscar came to know Jesus...says Kelley, my hilarious co-worker. She said it was all the praise and worship music she played him. She states this because he went from eating little feeder fish to now co-habitating with them and treating them like friends. The little gold fish now swim freely with their big mate. Well, due to the remodeling of the YFC office the boss man said the fish had to go. So, tonight we packed up and hit the road and the Oscar and all his little pals are living with Auntie Kelley at her house. Bye bye fish and fish tank. PTL I don't have to move or take care of that thing any more.

D$ to D-Chubby Tubby

Over the years I have not been one to be concerned with my weight. I was always a skinny lil fellow. But my father always told me he was the same way and then he entered his 20's and it was downhill from there. Well folks, I am soon to be 24 and officially concerned with my weight. My weight has fluctuated within 5 pounds for the last year or two. Well, I recently paid a visit to the doctor after feeling under the weather and I appeared to be ten pounds over the high end of my previous weight. Now I admit I haven't weighed in, in a while but I must admit this was a shock to me. I looked down at the weight and could not believe my eyes. But as I look in the mirror and as I look at pics (thank you very much BK) I do appear larger than in the past. I have also recently experience the inner thigh rubbing irritation problem. (Probably TMI) So, ya I guess I gotta exercise more regularly and actually do the "d" word that I never thought I would have to do...diet. Here's to a hopefully healthier, leaner, me.

One Church...

Last nights Power Rally was pretty awesome. How cool is it to see youth from all different schools, all different churches, all different economic backgrounds come together and worship and pray together? Pretty cool. The speaker was pretty much right on when he said we are United...One School, One City, One Country, One World, One Church. It doesn't matter where you come from, we are called to be united in Jesus Christ and in sharing that bond we are one in Him.

It the Week of Prayer for Youth...will you join me in praying for our students???

Post Secrets...Oh So True

Rainbow at the end of the storm near???

So, I was really hoping that today would be the start of a new and much more fantastic week. Little did I know this past week was only the rain and the storm was yet to come. I hardly slept last night and came down with something. My ears, head, and throat hurt and I had the burning up and then freezing cold issues. Yes, I am sick.

With the sickness came me having to call a church (at 6am mind you) that I was supposed to lead the youth services and tell them I could not come. They had to cancel youth services because they had no one to lead them as I was to fill in for their Youth Pastor. I also had to miss my student leadership meeting and even more saddening I had to miss my little sister's birthday party and I could tell she was pretty bummed. Instead I traded my day for the urgent care, some drugs, and an afternoon of sleep.

I am hoping to have a speedy recovery because this is quite a busy week with work and I had lots to do. But maybe this is a sign that I need to slow my butt down. Hopefully the rainbow is coming up soon at the end of this storm!

One Day I Am Gonna Learn This Dance!

The week from h...e...double hockey sticks!

The week was the longest, most discouraging, most unpleasant week I think I have experienced in a long while. The list of problems, issues, hurt/pain, devastation, and frustrations I have experienced in a long time. From frustrations at school, to friends who have had a family member in critical condition, to friends with relationship issues, to co-workers leaving, to personal let downs, to problems with car, internet, phone, and toilet, to horrible shopping experiences, to an issue with a complaining parent, and pain in my jaw/ear/head...this week had it all. I am ready for the week to be over. The level of emotional and physical drain has reached it capacity for a good 6 months. Bye bye crappy week...hello new one.

Walmart...The Anti-Christ?

I officially can say I hate Walmart. At least Walmart in Fresno. I visited one in Indiana and it was quite different than here. It was actually clean and had friendly people...go figure!

Last Sunday I took a trip to the Walmart as I had a list of items I needed to get. Big mistake! Never go to Walmart on a Sunday afternoon! So the shopping experience itself was not very pleasant but after I checked out I realized an item I bought scanned for double the price it was tagged for. You see the item was on the clearance isle and was half off. So, I ended up getting charged $17 over, including tax. It is were a dollar or two I would have said no big deal but this was a bit larger than that.

Well, it took 40 minutes of me fighting with the rude customer service lady to get my money back. It wasn't pleasant. She said there was nothing she could do since it rang up wrong. She said she had to go off of the computer. I thought that was ludicrous seeing as it had a price sticker on it for another price and there were others on the shelf just like it with that price. No way was I going to back down. That is false advertising. I demanded a manager...well I waited, and waited, and no manager. So she asked me to step aside at about the 30 minute marker so she could help other customers. I refused. I said I was not moving until the manager arrived. She said "Oh you are going to be stubborn", I replied "Well you are providing the worst possible customer service, so yes I am not moving, maybe it will get you to get the manager quicker". After about another five minutes or so another cashier said "Sir, I am sorry about this, I don't know where the manager is, I am just going to give you your money so you will be on your way." Funny since she was in the same position as the other lady who was helping me who flat out lied and said she couldn't do it without the manager.

Needless to say I left that store feeling as if it indeed was the Anti-Christ. Walmart is taking over the world. Seriously, I think I am going to pay the extra money and go to Target from now on.

TMJ

Temporomandibular joint (TMJ) syndrome or TMJ joint disorders are medical problems related to the jaw joint. The TMJ connects the lower jaw to the skull (temporal bone) under your ear.

I have joined a dear friend of mine with a disordered called TMJ. You see the fantastic oral surgeon jacked up my jaw when I had my wisdom teeth out. Now daily I have a wonderful pain in my jaw that goes up into my ear. It is quite painful. I have gotten my jaw adjusted two days in a row and it is one of the most horrendous pains I have felt. It literally feels as if I am going to jump out of my own skin. Not a fun experience. My hopes is that in the coming days and weeks the pain will lesson, my jaw will realign, and I will feel better. Until then, down with the dentists!

A time of joy and a time of pain...

It is hard to believe that today my baby sister turned 18. She is a legal adult. That is hard for me to grasp. It seems like just yesterday there were dirty diapers and cribs. I am proud of my little sis and yes she will always be little to me. She is a beautiful young woman who I adore.

As she turns 18 it makes me feel old. Quite old. I am approaching my Mid-20's. Before you know it I will be 30. Scary to think that time can pass us by so quickly.

This all makes me think of life and of the future. Right now one of my closest friends is experiencing the most pain possible. She is sitting at a hospital along side a bed where her mother is in a coma. She has been there since Monday. I could not imagine seeing my mom on life support because she can't breathe on her own and to know that in less than three days they have had to restart her heart a dozen times. It is hard to fathom the pain that my friend and her family are feeling.

My friends mom makes me rethink the fact of being old. I am in my mid-20's. I could possibly have 70 years of life remaining. (Only God knows when I will leave this earth) I guess I need to take each day one at a time and be grateful for the treasure that each new day is, as we are not promised tomorrow. Are you living each one as if it could be your last?

Such Is Life

Today's Fortune Cookie: "When one door closes, another door opens"

Didn't think much of the fortune at lunch at first...just kind of chuckled since I have heard that one before. Then tonight I experienced the closed door. A closed door that for a moment made me feel sad, but then I remembered the fortune cookie. This door may have closed but I trust God will open another. If not another door maybe a window to crawl through. =)

The storms will come but God will provide

Today was a very sad day at YFC. Two of our beloved staff resigned. Both were what we call Team Leaders...which means they were in charge of a ministry department. One of the two has been with YFC for over 30 years. I almost started crying when I heard the news. These are two men who have had a huge impact on the lives of our youth and who have both impacted my life over the past two years. It is sad to say good bye but we must remember that though this may seem like a storm now, God is good and He will guide us through and ultimately provide for our ministries.

Quote of the day...

"Character comes from who we are. Credentials can never accomplish what character can."

Good quote to really take to heart. Doesn't matter how great our resume may look or what we accomplish...what matters is who we are.

Passage from "To Know as We are Known"

"To sit in a class where the teacher stuffs our minds with information, organizes it with finality, insists on having the answers while being utterly uninterested with our views, and forces us into a grim competition for grades - to sit in such a class is to experience a lack of space for learning."

"But to study with a teacher who not only speaks but listens, who not only gives answers but asks questions, and welcomes our insights, who provides information and theories that do not close doors but open new ones, who encourages students to help each other learn - to study with such a teacher is to know the power of learning space"

Parker Palmer (pg. 71)

I appreciate professors who teach like the second paragraph, not the first. Learning is interaction, not just lecturing. PTL for instructors who actually value the students.

Powerful Video

I survived...

So, many of you know I spent all last week planning a two night weekend retreat for my student leadership team. I am happy to report we are home safe and had an awesome weekend. There were challenges indeed however I know God met us there. I love my kids and my volunteers too. I seriously wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for them.

Last week was a whirl wind of busyness with planning for the retreat plus other work ans school related stuff, thus no bloggin action however I hope to post some new stuff this week.

Have a great start to your week! And remember hugs equal happiness! =)

The Wisdom Is Gone

So, yesterday marked the two week anniversary of me having my wisdom teeth out. All I can say is this hasn't been a walk in the park. I developed two dry sockets which meant they had to be packed which meant I had to go to the oral surgeon every other day. A little bit of a drive and time out of my day. Well, today he took them out for the final time. But my jaw seems to be hurting...Jen seems to think maybe I developed TMJ...the little consent form I signed did say it was possible. I just hope the pain goes away and doesn't stick around. They also have me this sick lil syringe and told me that it will take 1-2 weeks for the holes to heal so I need to shoot water in the holes after every meal...sexy huh? What a freakin process! Glad it's a once in a lifetime sitch.

150+ Miles Later

Coalinga...there's a first time for everything right? A two hour drive round trip turned into almost four hours. Let's just say I need to learn how to read maps. Just because it says "towards" it doesn't mean "merge on"...oops my bad! At least along the way I got to see things like Chevron's oil dwellings, Harris Ranch, the Naval Air Base, and the city of Heron. Haha. At least I was able to get my jam on...ghetto superstar Tyrone came out in the car! Fun times.

PTL for...

...this girl! She is freakin amazing! All I can say is I am happy that the past is the past and we can let the good times roll! I love ya j.Lo!

What are you teaching?

Have you ever thought that things that you don't stand for or speak of still teach a message? If you are apathetic towards something it still teaches an underlining message that you don't care.

I was challenged this week in my youth ministries class to think about how I teach, specifically with my students. I can teach that something is not important by specifically not talking about it. If I don't encourage my students to invite friends then I am saying inviting friends isn't important. Same with prayer, reading the bible, or anything else for that matter. Really made me think a little...especially in the case of our student leadership team.

So, I guess the question is...do you speak for what you stand for or does your silence convey the message?

The Sky is Falling...The Sky is Falling!!!

Yesterday morning at 4:36am I had a flash back to the 2nd grade. I felt as if I was Chicken Little running around yelling "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!". You see I was awoken by a very loud bang and my apartment shaking. I live on the top story and there is a garage below me, I am the end unit. Well...the first thing I thought was "Oh crap my apartment is caving in". Then once I realized that it was no longer moving, I jumped out of bed, grabbed my glasses, and turned on a light.

I looked out the window to see a garbage truck, yes my friends, a garbage truck. So, I told myself that I must have been dreaming and my apartment really wasn't shaking and all I heard was a dumb garbage truck. Well, I went back to bad.

Fast forward a few hours...I went out the gate on the side of my house to go to my truck and I couldn't open it...there was something blocking the way. I was able to push a little to allow me to stick my head through. The brick wall that separates the walkway along my house and where the garbage dumpsters was collapsed. In deed the garbage truck went through the brick wall throwing it onto my apartment causing it to shake! PTL! I am not crazy after all. I called my property manager and reported what happened but I guess they move slow cause the massive pile of bricks it still there tonight.

So, I guess the sky really wasn't falling after all.

The first day of the rest of your life...

Today marked a new chapter in my life. I officially began classes at Fresno Pacific University. It has been a long journey in transferring there to finish up my degree but I do believe it is going to be well worth it. I know its only the beginning and there will be good days and there will be bad, just as with anything. I really think I will enjoy my professors, my peers, the campus, the environment, the courses. I have already met some really nice people and I look forward to building more friendships. It should be a fun journey. I have saddled up my horse and I am going to hit the trail and hope to be done much sooner than later. And ladies, I am single, so the ring by spring is an option....JUST KIDDING!!!

And on a darker side...today didn't start out so bright when I woke up and thought it felt way too bright to be 6am and I felt way too well-rested. Then I looked at my clock and saw 8:03am. Yes, I had class at 8am and I was already late on the first day of school. I made a frantic dash to get ready and leave within 10 minutes. My alarm clock seriously didn't go off. And no I am not kidding, it didn't go off. Just call me Jen. =)

Yes, I am proud of my man bag...

So, I recently purchased a bag for school. Its kind of a messenger bag of types. Its solid black. I like it. If you want to call it my man bag you can...but I refuse to call it a murse. My dear friend Becky insisted that it is a murse...AKA man purse but I disagree. That's all...

Gotta laugh out loud sometimes...

Check out this video: Carter The Church Assistant Episode 3



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Yes, I am a fool!

So, I know I am not the best speller and I always spell check my blogs before I post them. Well...little did I know when I went back and looked after you spell check you have to click another button before you publish the post in order for it to save the spelling corrections! So, for months, possibly years I have been doing this and all my blogs are full of spelling errors! My bad! I am such a fool! I will make sure to click the extra button from now on! Gosh I am lame!

The Lake House

About every six months or so I head to the video store and take home about 4-6 used videos on DVD. I buy them when they have their sale for 4 for $20 or something like that. I typically get videos that I have yet to see and I have heard good things about. It then takes me about six months to end up watching all the DVDs I buy. I watch one movie a month if I am lucky.

So, last night I was looking for a DVD in my collection to watch and I came across The Lake House. I picked it up and thought: hmmm I haven't watched this yet, I'll give it a try. So, I popped it in and began watching. One word sums up the whole movie: bizarre! I heard good things about the movie from a few friends when it was in theaters. It wasn't a bad movie but it was very confusing. I mean a man living in 2004 communicating with a woman who is living in 2006 and they both are experiencing current times in their lives. At the end of course they were together, embracing one another, however I still don't understand how they got to that point. Did she go back in time? Did he get fast-forward to the future. Who knows. All in all a very weird movie. If you wanna borrow it let me know!

1 Egg or 2, That is thy question

So, I decided I wanted to make some muffins this morning. I went and pulled out a box of cinnamon strudel muffin mix from the cupboard. I looked at the back of the box and it called for milk...check, oil...check, 2 eggs...oh no...I only had 1 egg. I decided to take my chances and make the muffins with only 1 egg. I was really craving them! Well, low and behold they turned out just fine with 1 egg! They taste delicious! I can't tell a single difference with missing an egg! PTL for the muffin man!

The Pain Continues...

Today is day five of having my wisdom teeth out...all five of them that is. I have been experiencing a high level of pain on my right side which has went into my ear and head. It is causing me to have trouble sleeping as well as still not being able to really eat. The pain meds are not even working for long. So, I made the bold step to call the doctor to see if I have a dry socket. He is going to see me in just over an hour at his office. What a guy going back in on a Friday night to see a patient. So, I should know soon if that is the case and hopefully a little patch with some medicine will make it feel better. I want the pain to stop and the healing to be done already!

Confused

Do you ever just feel really confused? Like you don't know if you're comin or goin? I feel semi-confused about life and just everything going on right now. I really wish I could get sometime of clear picture as to what all I am supposed to do and not do. I guess only time shall tell.

Bungee Jumping!!!

I got to go bungee jumping from 152 feet yesterday at Great America! It was freakin awesome. We went 60 MPH! I have never been so scared to be so high up yet so excited at the same time. When we released it was such an awesome feeling, really it was indescribable. I want to do it again!

New Neighbors...

Meet my new neighbors...the popo's and the criminals of Fresno County! Yes, thats right ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to announce that the exchange of criminals from cop cars to the popo van that takes them underground into the county jail now takes place right outside my back window! In the last week I have seen more people in handcuffs than ever! It's kinda fun to watch out the back window to the big open parking lot and watch them transfer the criminals! I just hope its never me being transferred, haha!

Hectic Times

Do you ever wish that the world would slow down for a little while? Like maybe you could freeze time and just relax for a bit and have nothing happening around you? I sure do. I feel a tad bit overwhelmed these with school about to start and with work quickly picking up pace. I am not ready!!!

Well, at least for this weekend I can forget about it because I am leaving for Great America in a few short minutes. Then I come home Sunday and Monday morning have my wisdom teeth out...not looking forward to that. But hey at least I will get to sleep a lot! So, I won't be around much the next few days but I have lots of things to blog about eventually...readings, stories, events, pics,etc. So hopefully I will get to them soon!

Bye Bye Bertha - Part II

Dearly Beloved:

Bertha is forever resting in peace. Yesterday I wished her well as I put her down to sleep. Or should I say passed her onto someone else to inherit her problems. I figured that I put about 6000 miles on her in almost two years, mostly just for Campus Life, and spent nearly $4000 for the original purchase plus all the repairs. And even with that she was leaking oil, AC broke, and transmission was going on. I settled on taking $750 to just get her off my hands so I could move on. The song will forever remain in my head and heart..."Big beauitful Bertha, Big beauitful babe, whoa whoa whoa, Big Beauitful Bertha".

Good Times

"Stop making me laugh, you're hurting my intestans" -jen

I must say it is always a joy to hang out with my good friend. Never a dull moment!

No Go Sitch!

18 minutes naps are a no go sitch! You see we had two hours of an afternoon break from our conference. I came back to the room to take a lil nap since I didn't sleep well last night. My ideal nap is about 50 minutes. It is prefect for me to rest. I am rooming with two guys over age 50 and the both swear naps should be 15 minutes, no longer. So, they said they would set their alarms for 18 minutes to be gererous to me. Well, they were both out within 30 seconds. It took me 10 minutes to fall asleep which left about 8 minutes for my name before I was rudely awakened by the beeping of an alarm! I laid there for a few more minutes really despising the situation. I think a good nap is in order when I get home...50 minute minimum!

Nice Reminder

It's nice to be with people throughout the state and country who share in the family of YFC and are serving in ministry along side you. It is also a great reminder of how important our work is. Sometimes I feel like it isn't worth it but then I come to these conferences and I feel refreshed and I feel like it is worth it and I can go on. Anywho, I am tired and I am not sure if this makes sense so I am going to sleep now. Good night!

And I'm Off...

I am off to Sacramento today for a regional conference and won't be back until Saturday. I then go to speak at a church Sunday, head to a birthday part in Hanford, then Monday plan for a youth event which is Tuesday, spend a few days working, head to Great America for a mini-vacation next Friday-Sunday. Come home Sunday for The Commissioning and Back2School Night of Prayer. Wake up early Monday (the 20th) and have my freakish 5 wisdom teeth out. From there, bed and vicodine. Oh the joys of life! =) Hope you are enjoying the end of your summer!

The day has really come

I talked to my mom this morning and she informed me that they are moving! My parents have been talking of moving for many months and I didn't think it would happen. Well, after nine long years in the same apartment they are moving. It should be good for them. I am happy. It's just crazy to think they are really doing it. And that means I have to empty all my junk out of their garage...not looking forward to that!

Emotional Vomit...

...I hear its a good thing to do. To basiclly throw up all the junk you have inside you, specifically on paper. I was advised to try it...hmmm any advice? hehe

Genuine

So, I had lunch after church with a good friend...actually an amazing friend. She posed the question to me "What makes someone genuine?" The question really got me thinking about what it means to be genuine and who are the geniune people in my life? So, I decided to look up the definition on good ole dictionary.com...so in case you wanted to know what the definition fo genuine is here ya go...

Genuine: Possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, or origin; not counterfeit; authentic; real; free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere.

The cause of hurt...

I picked up the book Sex God by Rob Bell on Friday. It was 50% off at the store and I had been wanting to read it so I was like, what the heck! Well, I am only into the third chapter and it is a pretty awesome book. I love how Bell gets to the center of issues and is pretty raw with calling things what they are and not sugar coating them.

I had had numerous conversation with people who have been hurt or have issues with the church...or issues with other groups for instance jobs, school, a group of people, etc. I found this very interesting what Bell says "I often meet people who aren't part of a church and don't want anything to do with God because of all those religious hypocrites. Often they have great pain that the blame on 'the church'. But it's not possible for an institution, whether it's a church or a school or a business or even the government, to hurt somebody. Institutions are made up of people. People hurt people." (Bell, p. 45)

This really got me thinking because it's so true. People hurt people. We can often say we have problems with an organization and really we have problems with a person or multiple people in that organization that have hurt us. This really is the cause of our pain, of our anger, or our hurt. But guess what, it's way easier to blame a church or an organization for our hurt because they can't fight back. It's when we realize the person that hurt us that things get complicated because we don't want to confront the person to try and resolve whatever the matter is. We begin to make excuses that they won't understand how I feel, or they will think I am attacking them, or it won't change anything if I tell them how I feel. Bottom line is they are excuses because we are too scared to confront the direct cause of the pain we are feeling. So, what does this all mean? I don't know. It just got me thinking, maybe it will challenge your thinking too.

Bye Bye Sarie...

Today was a somewhat sad day as I said good bye to an amazing friend, volunteer, and intern! Sarah...AKA Sarie or Sarietta was an amazing sidekick this summer. I don't know if I would have got through summer programming if it wasn't for her! Not only did she help by building amazing relationships with students and getting them plugged in...as well as helping to orgainze our summer events...she also had my back in so many ways! Without her I would not have been able to focus on some needed time out of the office to do summer school...which I must say is finally over as of today! PTL! Anywho, Sarah, if you're reading this you are an amazing woman and God truly used you to reach our youth this summer! Thank you for your support! And may you be blessed as you move onto Bakersfield to persue your crediential! I know the kids will be blessed to have you as a teacher! Bye bye my partner in crime!

Tragic

So, I admit, I am not very political. I vote and that is the extent of my political side but recently my dear friend j.Lo got me thinking about the war. It also didn't help that for the last eight or so weeks I have been taking a Modern Civ class which pretty much has a high level of content on war. I have come to realize that it is pretty selfish for leaders to risk the lives of hundreds, thousands, and sometimes millions of people for sake of a political agenda.

Where am I going with all of this? Well, for the last 24 hours I have been watching a fair deal of the news in regard to the bridge collapse in MN. At first I watched out of concern because I have a dear friend who is there currently and I couldn't initially get a hold of her to find out she was okay. But she did end up contacting me and informing me she was in fact heading for that bridge when she got a call from a friend and turned around. Praise God she hadn't left a little sooner for her travels to the store.

Anyways, another friend of mine posted a my space bullitin on the bridge. I found it very sad that there are 73,864 bridges in the US right now that are rated structually deficient just like this bridge. The US currently spends 2 billion dollars annually to repair these bridges, however 9 billion is needed yearly in order to keep up with the repairs of these bridges. So, other bridges could potentially give way any day while we are spending all of our additional resources fighting a war that should have ended ages ago. Can someone tell me how that makes sense? Now we are not only losing lives at war but also in bridge collapses because we are not allocating our resources properly.

Okay, I just wanted to vent. This political tyrant is done. Until next time...

Bye Bye Bertha

I am selling my faithful Explorer who has went by the name of Bertha. You can check out my posting at http://fresno.craigslist.org/car/387219745.html. If you or anyone you know are interested please let me know! Thanks!

Sometimes it just feels good to be goofy!

Bummed

So, I have a cross that was given to me as a gift...and a chain. Well, I took it off yesterday for a doctors appointment and I placed it in my pocket. Well, I just realized it wasn't around my neck and then I remembered that I placed it in my pocket...I went to the pocket and its not there. The shorts I was wearing had small pockets and my change always falls out of them, so my cross did too. I hope I can back track and find that its in my car or somewhere, if not I am going to be totally bummed if I can't find it. Sad times. =(

Camp and Back...

First off, I must thank all those who were praying while we were gone at camp. What an amazing week it was. I must be honest and say going into the week I was not excited. I was not feeling the best physcially (and still don't...in bed sick currently), I had a mountain sized list of things I could be doing instead of being at high school camp, and emotionally I just wasn't ready. Regardless of everything I was feeling God still used this week. Looking back I am very happy that I went.

Not only did I get to invest more in the lives of the 8 high schoolers I took from our ministry, I also got to invest in the lives of 6 other young men who were placed in my cabin. My eyes were truly opened to the rawness of the pain that these kids are experiencing. From pressure to be the best in everything they do, to drugs/sex/partying pressure, to having a lack of a solid father to be their role model, to the realness of being a Christian yet admitting they don't live it, to deaths within family, broken homes, parents with illnesses...the whole nine yards and then some. Going into the week I really didn't feel equipted spiritually where I was at to go and mentor these teens...but I again God showed me how He uses broken people to help other broken people. There is something about understanding what a kid is going through and validating how they feel...not just validating to validate but because you honestly, whole-heartingly understand what they are going through.

God really challenged me to look deep inside myself this week and see all the garbage that is filling up my life and to see how that garbage seperates me from Him and seperates me at times from being able to see His purpose in my life. There are times when I honestly just want to throw in the towel. Youth ministry is hard, and honestly I don't think I ever expected it to be this hard. In past weeks I have really been questioning if this is where I should be or not; in that God used this week to say, "Derek, you are fulfilling My porpose, its not about you, its about Me".

Off to camp...

I am off to camp! Time for an exciting 8 days in the Santa Cruz mountains living it up with a bunch of high schoolers! I know it is going to be an awesome time! I just hope my sore throat goes away A-SAP! Please be praying for the staff and students up at camp and that God truly reveals Himself in maraculous ways! Looking forward to bloggin about the week when I get back! Until then, have a blessed week!

No Colored Font?

So, I don't know what the deal is but the freakin blog no long has the buttons to changed my font or the color of my font or anything fun like that. What the heck man?

What goes on in the female mind?

Sometimes I really have to ask myself that. I swear girls may say guys are hard to understand but I would say girls are at least ten time harder to understand. Sometimes us guys just have to lay down the real legit straght-forward truth to get through all the female emotions.

Life Goals

So, I am not ashamed to admit I have began investing in thearpy. I say invest because I don't just go...I am wanting to see results and therefore it's an investment.

Something that was interesting to learn this week is how we don't necessarly chose our own life goals. When you typically think of goals you probably would think of concrete things you want to accomplish in a certain amount of time and you set them yourself. Well, there is this theory of "Lifestyle Analysis" where basically your life goals are set without you even conciously chosing them. During the ages of 0-18 we are in our "Family Atmosphere" and during that time we take in all of the values, beliefs, interests, preferences, and prejudices of our family. Those particular items/areas that we see in our parents and other individuals who have and influence on our lives during our young ages shape our life goals and who we develop into as an adult person.

It has been really interesting for me to see what some of my goals are and see how they were shaped by my family both positivly and negatively. Because of some of the issues I have as a result of my family it leaves me wanting to set goals that are completely oposite of my family...the common "I'm not going to grow up and be like my parents". As I looked deeply into some of my thinking and some of my faults I realize that I have a lot to work on from the root of how I was raised.

With all that said, I am looking forward to my new investment. =)

Funny Stuff

So, I saw this video on my space...it isn't the most appropriate video promoting your typical Christian values but it is pretty darn funny. I couldn't help but laugh.

Lies...Lies...Lies

I am happy to announce we have been fed lies for the past year or two about Magic Mountain closing. I called today to find out the truth behind this and was assured that the park will not be closing. I was also able to verify the information on their site in a press release on their news page. So, there will be many screams in years to come as we continue to visit the best roller coaster park in Cali!

What Matters Most

What Matters Most...When NO is better than YES

I started reading this really cool book that night that was given to me. It is by Doug Fields and he is a pretty awesome writer...as well as speaker. This is a really simple read and gets to the heart of the issue and I am really enjoying it!

"While saying no results in many personal benefits, it's a difficult word for most ministry-minded leaders to utter because their ministry culture values yes. They learn to say yes because they want to please others - they don't want to let people down, risk others thinking less of them, or become the target of disappointment or anger."

I read that and wanted to scream YES! That is often how I feel. There is so much that needs to be done and in ministry there is always more. There are tons of people that you need to satisfy or make happy...but I have began to realize that saying yes to everything kills me. It may help others but in the end it leaves me feeling overwhelmed and often empty. I am excited to keep reading this book and see how saying no is often a more healthy approach than saying yes. Sorry boss man but this is a book that all ministry minded people should read! =)